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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 15, 2017 17:09:51 GMT -8
The sky was grey by the time Elayne finished her rounds. Not a trace of sun could be seen hidden behind the clouds, almost as if the sun hadn't existed in the first place. It was a silly thought, she knew that, but there were times that Elayne started to wonder if the sun would ever return. What am I even doing anymore? Even her coworkers back home had noticed that something was off with her and seemed concerned. One of them had even asked if there was trouble at home but didn't press further when Elayne had assured them everything was fine. What could she say? That she wished her life was 'normal' again? They wouldn't understand. A drop of rain fell on her face, causing Elayne to look up at the sky just as more droplets fell. Instead of rushing to get back home, she just stood there for a moment, closing her eyes as the rain started to soak her through. Even the concerned cries of Pokemon around her didn't seem to bring her out of the daze. Or at least, not until Elly rubbed against her legs, purring softly. Sighing softly, Elayne started walking again, not really paying attention to where she was going. It was one of those rare moments when not even the Espeon could help her feel better, Elayne wasn't sure that anyone could. At least, that's how it felt right then and there. Before Elayne knew it, she was standing in Felis' garden, one of the few places that still felt like home. Back when everything was fine, back when they didn't have to worry about assassins or whoever else was dead set on ruining their lives. What's wrong with me? What indeed. Here she was, working her dream job as a breeder and yet... she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something missing. Something that couldn't be so easily replaced or covered up with keeping busy. As much as Elayne had tried to push it away or distract herself, it just kept getting worse. Wasn't Veria supposed to be safe? Weren't they supposed to be able to live normal lives without having to hide? As it was, it seemed like not a day went by that they were living a lie. How was she supposed to be happy lying to everyone? Sure, she was still alive, but at what cost. Tears slipped down her cheeks, mingling with the rain that poured from the heavens. It was almost as if the very clouds were crying, like they felt the same way she did. The gazebo was just ahead, but Elayne stopped just short of it, closing her eyes as she looked up at the sky, relishing the feeling of the rain. How long? That was the question of the year, wasn't it. It seemed like years since Elayne had been able to fully relax. Now, after the hearing about the assassin scare... it seemed like there was nowhere left to go where they wouldn't be hunted down and killed like prey. And for what? Just because she was born? Because she couldn't choose who her family was? All that they'd been through amounted to nothing, or at least that's what it felt like. The stress was getting to her, no, it had broken her. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to change the minds of the people after her. Why? Wasn't it enough that she'd lost everything, that they had lost everything? When was it going to end? Stumbling into the gazebo, Elayne barely managed to catch herself on the railing and took a deep breath to try and clear her head. At least that was the plan, the only thing that came out sounded closer to a wheezed out sob. Get ahold of yourself. Sure, easier said than done. Elayne was just so tired of always looking over her shoulder and... she just couldn't do it... not anymore. Words: 670
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 18, 2017 13:38:14 GMT -8
Feliciano had been working on dinner in the kitchen. Alongside him several Pokemon were assisting as well, getting the vegetables and berries chopped and prepping the pans and dishes. Since Elayne and Haiiro had been spending more and more time on the ranch, he’d been prepping bigger and bigger meals for them. He invited over Miguel and Ryan frequently enough, and of course the kids with them were very welcome here as well. Rosa was always in and out these days, but it was always nice to see her too.
He’d been about to strain some of the pasta when one of Elayne’s Pokemon came through the door in a frenzy. The worried cries that escaped had Felis standing upright and walking over to follow as they gestured out the door and towards the gazebo area. Just from the way she was standing even at a distance Felis was aware something wasn’t… quite right, but what exactly was wrong… Fishing up an umbrella from the stand by the door, Feli gave a nod, called back to the Pokemon to keep things going, opened said umbrella and started out.
It was a short walk over to the gazebo, but with the rain now pouring, it felt longer. Finally coming up the steps, Felis stopped and closed the umbrella again. “Trapped in the rain, signora?” he asked softly.
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 18, 2017 17:21:34 GMT -8
Elayne lost count of how long she stood in the gazebo, watching the pouring rain. Normally the rain was a peaceful thing but right then it only seemed to echo the aching sadness that Elayne felt. Some part of her wondered if it was raining because of her as a reflection of what she was feeling. It was a silly thought though and one that was quickly pushed away. She wasn't a Pokemon after all, there was no chance that she could manipulate the weather. Well, unless one of her Pokemon decided to. Whatever had caused the rain, it didn't really matter. If she could just stay out here until she got ahold of herself, that would be enough. Or at least, that was the plan. For whatever reason, today was harder to get control of herself. She just...couldn't pretend any longer, couldn't put on a happy face and pretend that everything was alright when the stress was more than she could bear. Every breath Elayne took felt painful, like knives were stabbing her over and over again. Before she realized it, she was sobbing all over again despite her attempts to hold back the tears. Her shoulders shook with the force of the sobs and it would take a few moments before she could stop crying, if only for a moment. What's wrong with me? Elayne couldn't quite place it, just that she couldn't do this anymore ... whatever "this" was. By the time Felis approached, Elayne had managed to stop crying quite so hard. Leaning over the gazebo railing, she heard the sound of footsteps before he spoke. Trapped in the rain, signora? Yes, trapped was the right word here wasn't it. Trapped in all the lies, all the stress. It was too much. "I guess you could say that,"Elayne whispered, her voice shaking with the emotion behind it. She wouldn't look at Felis, couldn't bring herself to. "I'm....tired, Felis,"she continued, her voice cracking as more tears fell down her cheeks.
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 19, 2017 16:00:27 GMT -8
When Elayne didn’t turn to face him, Felis slowly walked up behind her. Her whispered reply, the way her voice shook even with how quiet it was, all of it drew a frown to his features. I’m tired, Felis.. Warmth touched his features, and had Felis been in a different stage of his life, he might have asked if she wanted to break up. Right then, at least, he could see this wasn’t the same kind of ‘tired’ at the very least. Folding his arms around her from behind, he leaned forward slowly. “Tired of… tired of what, Elayne?” he asked trying very hard not to jump t any conclusions despite his mind providing plenty of ideas regardless.
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 19, 2017 18:44:08 GMT -8
Staring out at the falling rain, Elayne took a few more deep breaths, trying to will herself for the hundredth time to calm down. To be normal. What was normal anyway? She heard Felis approach, felt him wrap his arms around her as a shaky sigh left her. It helped, a lot actually, to know he was there. Standing fully, she leaned back into him a little, searching for the right words to say. Tired of what? Everything. All of it. For years Elayne had been running in some form or another. She simply couldn't do it anymore, not if it meant lying. "Running, hiding, lying,"Elayne murmured after a few moments, "I....don't know what's wrong with me, Felis. I should be happy, I should love being free...being with you a-and Haii... ,"she continued, her voice shaking more as she spoke. A deep breath would be taken before she shifted in Felis' arms and turn towards him, wrapping her own arms around him. "I feel...trapped, like I.... we can't escape. Nowhere is safe. I'm tired of having a target on my back... and I can't do anything about it," Elayne explained, her voice shaking as she all but clung to Felis, "I can't do this,"she continued quietly. There were more tears, but as to why she was crying this time, Elayne wasn't exactly sure.
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 19, 2017 19:03:38 GMT -8
As Elayne spoke, Felis’s features fell slowly. Oh, oh that made sense. When she turned to face him, he smiled briefly before holding her to his chest. Fingers grazed her brown hair in a gentle, soothing manner. The more she spoke, however, the more that hand trembled ever so slightly. Felis had been through a lot, too much, for most humans to understand let alone relate to. He knew that, felt that, and whole heartedly accepted that. However, when it was helping someone else through so many similar feelings, he never quite knew what to do. It was always so much easier to tell himself to just deal with it and go on.
“I know it’s hard, Elayne,” Felis spoke softly, quietly. Against the pouring rain it almost was inaudible. “It’s so hard, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this— we have to go through this… It’s ok, let it out… You don’t have to be strong right now.” Those were the words Felis knew he always wanted. Sometimes, it was just best to break and be done with it. Holding back, fighting tears, those were for times when it was inappropriate to cry. Now, now was an ok time to cry. “I’m here….”
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 19, 2017 19:51:04 GMT -8
The feeling of Felis' hands through her hair helped. It usually soothed her, calmed her now though... it was enough to know he was there. Or at least it should have been. As she continued to talk, the more upset she got and it was getting hard to speak. She could feel the slight tremble of Felis' hand but then again, she was shaking too. Now that she was out of the rain, it just occurred to her how cold she was. If not for Felis' arms, she would be shaking harder, of that she was almost certain. As Felis started to speak, Elayne tried to calm down, tried to relax. Nothing was working. It's so hard... Yes, it was. It seemed like she'd been running for most of her life. If you could even call it a life. The next thing he said however, the permission to let it out, to break? You don't have to be strong right now. That was all that Elayne needed to hear before she finally allowed herself to break, to stop fighting the tears she'd been holding back for far too long. How long she cried like that, Elayne didn't know but by the end of it, she felt weak. Drained. Like if she let go of Felis, she'd collapse in a heap on the floor. "I want it to stop... When will it end, Felis? Will we ever have a 'normal' life?"Elayne asked, her voice hoarse and barely audible after all that crying.
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 19, 2017 20:06:51 GMT -8
He held her. It was all he could do, all Felis could do. There were no words to sooth such pains, no comforts to be had. He’d searched for them for years and only suffered more for it. But he could be there for her. He could assure her she wasn’t alone in this. He was there. Haiiro was there. Miguel and the others were there to in one way or another. They were all in this together, had been in this together for what felt like so long now. It wasn’t enough, couldn’t be enough, not compared to some of those insufferable feelings….. But it was the truth.
As Elayne finally relaxed against him, Felis held her a little more. The question that came, however, had his lips pressing together briefly. “Mrs. Iris has gotten ahold of immigration control, and there is more checking.” He knew this. She knew this. But did it quell their fears entirely? Obviously not in this case. “It may never end… but we must not give up, Elayne… We can’t. We’ve come too far.”
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 19, 2017 20:43:41 GMT -8
Felis' answer wasn't... exactly what Elayne wanted to hear. She knew it was the truth, knew that they should be safe here. That's what they thought before though. It may never end... That's what she was afraid of. Why? Why did she, no, why did they have to spend the rest of their lives looking over their shoulders? It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. "I'm not giving up," Elayne murmured, "I love our life here. I just...I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to spend my life looking over my shoulder. We came here to be safe, to get away from them. Why? What did we do that was so bad? Exist?" she continued, her voice wavering from the emotion behind it. Maybe she was bitter, maybe she was angry at having to uproot her life just to survive. It shouldn't matter, she should accept that they were alive and happy. Why couldn't she look past that anymore? Ever since the assassin scare, Elayne hadn't been able to relax, to continue on like she used to. Why? That was the real question, wasn't it.
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 19, 2017 21:00:31 GMT -8
A small, weak smile pulled at the corners of Felis’s mouth. “I know.. I’m sorry…” he whispered back. Some vague part of him still felt actual real painful guilt, but these things had long since burrowed deep inside of him. He had inherited the power as Acting Duke with little to no training and no planning. He’d shouldered a quarter of the country and did the best he could with what he had. He wasn’t good enough and knew that with every fiber of his being.
But… But Elayne didn’t deserve that. Not Elayne, not Miguel, not anyone who had sought the castle for refuge after so many traumatic events had transpired. No one should have had to fight for their right to live in this world— not like that, not like this. But here they were, in a world less than ideal. Even in a place that should have been safer, they were stuck wondering how long it would last— if it would last. Felis too felt tired, but he had felt tired for a long long time.
“Hate runs deep…. People…. Can’t forgive or forget or maybe they just…. don’t have anything better to do…” Felis mumbled more to himself than Elayne. “Someday when they burn themselves out, maybe they will let go…. But until then…”
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 19, 2017 21:28:51 GMT -8
The apology from Felis was surprising and not at all what Elayne wanted to hear. Pulling away slightly enough to look at him, she was about to object, to say something more when he continued speaking. Hate runs deep... Yes, that was true enough. She had seen what hate could do first hand and had to deal with more than her share of pain as a result. Felis had suffered too, Elayne knew that. He didn't deserve this, nobody did. "Someone has to break the cycle. Unless that happens, nothing will change,"Elayne said quietly, shoulders slumping as she sighed. It still hurt, it still wasn't right, but what else could she do? Orange eyes held blue ones as Elayne smiled just slightly, albeit tiredly. Hands rose to slowly frame Felis' face before she kissed him softly. It would be a few moments before she pulled away just enough so that their foreheads were pressing together. "You have nothing to apologize for, Felis. You're perfect... just the way you are,"Elayne whispered, kissing his cheek this time, "Thank you, Felis... I love you so, so very much. You're so strong... You've always been strong. I wonder, has anyone told you it's ok to let it out? Because it is, it's alright, you don't have to be everyone's rock, Felis... at least not now."
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 20, 2017 7:59:07 GMT -8
Someoen has to break the cycle. Felis smiled weakly at that. The Vicious Circle that had been started in Era, however, was more than one person alone could break. Felis knew that better than anyone. As Elayne pulled away only to pull him a little down and rest her forehead against his, Felis did blush softly.
As Elayne went on speaking, however, Felis blinked a little harder than necessary. Her words stung more than she probably intended them to. What was all at once an attempt to return the favor for such small a gesture as a hug through tears did not go over nearly as well for the one who’d initiated it. “Thank you, Elayne,” he spoke back softly as ever bfore shifting to kiss her briefly. “But I’m alright right now, promise.” Letting it out… would do no good right now anyways. “It’s… getting chilly out though. We should go inside, alright?”
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 20, 2017 17:39:02 GMT -8
Felis' soft blush earned a brief, more genuine smile before she continued. The brief thanks was met with a smile before he kissed her, eliciting a soft, rosy blush of her own before he continued to speak. His response was not exactly what Elayne expected but if she was honest, she was a bit relieved that he declined. As raw as she was still, it might be harder than she initially thought to see Felis in the same state she had been in. The promise still stood, she wouldn't take it back, but it was nice to know that at least Felis was ok. The suggestion to go back inside reminded Elayne how soaked her clothes were. Right. "Alright,"Elayne agreed, taking Felis' hand as she spoke. She still felt weak, tired, but it... helped to know she wasn't alone. "Maybe some cocoa too,"Elayne suggested as more of an after thought. It would warm both of them up and chocolate always seemed to help.
ulla
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Trainer
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Haiiro Navi on Oct 20, 2017 18:19:08 GMT -8
Clasping Elayne’s hand, Felis left the gazebo, grabbing the umbrella and holding it above them as they made their way back to the house again. The interior was much warmer with the kitchen abuzz with food preparations. At some point Haiiro had stepped in and helped along, keeping the Pokemon from doing some of the more convoluted work along the way. He now stood amongst pots and pans at the stove and seemed to look up as Felis and Elayne returned.
As they came inside, Haiiro stopped mid-stir to look up softly. Felis offered a weak smile and a small head gesture back out the door. “The rain sure is coming down, we’re into the fall weather now I’d say…..” His voice chattered slightly from the cold. Haiiro gave a nod and then made a small directional point towards the bathroom. Felis laughed and nodded. “Elayne~ Want to take a bath with me?” he teased softly.
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Breeder
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Elayne Laurent on Oct 20, 2017 19:41:11 GMT -8
As they left the gazebo, Elayne leaned a little bit against Felis partly to be closer to him, and partly to keep at least a little bit warmer. Once they entered the house, Elayne couldn't help but shiver at the huge difference between outside and inside. Haiiro was helping some Pokemon cook and she half wondered if Felis had stopped what he was doing to see her. It sounded like something he would do. "Hey, Haii,"Elayne murmured weakly, her voice a little hoarse after all the tears earlier. Felis' comment about the rain had a small smirk appearing on Elayne's features. Yeah, that was an understatement. The motion towards the bathroom had her nodding and would've taken a step towards it but Felis' question stopped her short. A fierce blush appeared on Elayne's features and it took a while for her voice to cooperate. "Y-yes..."Elayne finally managed, her voice little more than a whisper if that. She knew it was a tease, but well...ok, she didn't really want to wait her turn either. Her wet clothes clung to her and waiting just, didn't sound very appealing in the slightest.
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