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Pokémon Horizons is an expansive RP driven by member-planned plots and regular site events more than any singular site-wide plot, meaning there is always something to do and always room for new ideas.
From classic Pokémon staples to simple slice-of-life to grandiose encounters with Legendary Pokémon, there's a little something for everyone. We've been open since December 2015 and are always eager to welcome new friends~
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 8, 2018 20:06:05 GMT -8
Despite the cold in the rest of the world, Alola winter felt so very warm that week before Christmas. Standing out on one of the many beaches of Akala Island, Luke breathed in the sea air slowly. He had learned… a hell of a lot on this trip about Ultra Aura, Wormholes, the science behind them, and more importantly: Nilly. After talking with several scientists about his desires and plans, he’d received quite a lot of information and support.
More than anything, though, it was knowing that Nilly, Nihilego, had come to this world from this place, that got Luke. It had recognized it somehow, remembered the numerous ‘lights’ and how it had chosen to follow his as it was the brightest. All of it was so… interesting and draining. There was so much to study and do still, and more than anything, he just wanted to get back to work on the flora he loved. Soon. Eventually. Somehow. Hhhhhhhhhh….
He couldn’t afford to be brooding out there. He could be bonding with his family or Orion’s or studying some more. He could have been making every moment of this trip count. He could… could probably talk to Jazz, actually. It…. It felt right, for the moment maybe. After seeing how he had been with Indi especially all through their stay. Drawing in a slow breath, he released it, fished out his phone, and started texting Jazz.
-- Hey, I’m out at Surfer’s beach … can we talk?--
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 8, 2018 20:50:35 GMT -8
Jazz had been talking to Indi for perhaps the umpteenth time during their stay before he'd been dragged away by his mom. They wanted to do more Christmas things together which made sense, but darnit he still had so many things he wanted to ask Indi. After a bit of convincing he did have fun decorating cookies and whatever else Azalea and Vincent wanted to do (ffffff, he was getting so big now). He may not have been all that enthralled about having a kid brother but now, well, it was pretty awesome. Especially when Vincent seemed to love playing with him. Too bad he couldn't visit Alola more often, heh.
It was in the middle of a tickle war that Jazz would hear the familiar chime of a text. Of course he wasn't going to give up so quickly and only stopped to look at it after Vincent had run away, hiding behind Azalea. Well, looks like he'd won after all~. Snickering a bit, Jazz dug out his phone and tabbed over to the new messages. Seeing Luke's name and the following question nearly made his heart stop cold. Why, out of all the times, did Luke choose now to want to talk? This was supposed to be about Christmas and... It's ok, he could do this. If Luke wanted to, then what reason did he have to refuse him?
-Yeah, need to find a reason to keep Vincent from following though. Gimme a few.-
With that, the phone would be put away and Vincent would be picked up and a wrestling match would begin. The plan was to wear the kid out enough that he'd want to take a nap but that took... a lot longer than he'd intended. Eventually, Azalea put him down for a nap and Jazz would take off running towards the beach. "Hey! Sorry it took so long. Took longer to wear the kid out than I thought. What's up?" Jazz called out, stopping once he got close and may or may not have kicked up sand. Yeesh, the stuff got everywhere.
Putting his hands on his knees, Jazz tried to catch his breath and take the chance to try and calm down. He didn't know what to expect but was trying really, really hard not to get his hopes up. Last time he'd seen Luke more than just in passing or to help with the device, it... hadn't been good. Well, he was in a good mood right now and even if what Luke had to say was horrible it... it would be alright.
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 9, 2018 13:57:55 GMT -8
-- That’s fine --
Yeah. He’d end up walking along the beach for a while, watching the water and thinking over things some more. The longer he waited, the less he wanted to do this, but for all it was, Nilly was the most reassuring thing right then. He would be all the way on the other side of the beachfront when Jazz finally showed up, but in this case, it had sort of halved the initial distance between the two of them anyways.
“Hey,” he answered briefly giving a small wave as Jazz caught his breath. A hand reached back and ruffled red hair. Two opposable strands of hair swayed a little of their own accord. “It’s been a while but…” he chewed the inside of his mouth vaguely wondering if he could just leave it there and not get into this discussion at all. He guessed maybe he should have started with a ‘how are you’ or something, but they already had those vague dissociative conversations here and there. There was no point in them now when he had something else to say.
Yellow eyes flickered off along the beach line, and he found it easier to speak. “But I wanted you to understand something— something Nilly and a totem-like Gumshoos sort of helped me sort out.” He knew that second part wouldn’t make much sense. He hadn’t told anyone of his experience out in the wilds of Alto.
Luke's lips pressed together, and he fought with himself for a brief second before continuing on. “Back then," As if that wasn't vague enough but still somehow very particular in meaning. "I think I got tripped up in who I was supposed to be.” That came off a lot quieter than he intended it to. Luke grimaced and tried again. “The Verian Berry Professor— a League member with a lot of financial stability, power, and status. The biologist— botanist— who created the Chroma Cookie. The person who has to help defend Sinclair from an Ultra Beast.”
He drifted for a moment, allowing his gaze to flow away back off to the water. “The person who keeps an eye on you and Orion. The person who manages a lab full of people. The person who has to get Nihilego—Nilly— home. Because there’s no one like me. ” He took in a slow breath and looked upwards. “A Faller, a friend, someone who gets what the hell is going on in Era and all that has happened to you and Ri.”
“I…” A gold eye flickered back, and Luke forced himself to look forward at Jazz again. “The reason I kissed you wasn’t… because I wanted that kind of relationship with you right then.” He gulped but went on. “It was more like I felt that was what you needed— that I had to to fill a— to be a role at that moment.” Lips pressed together. "But that's not healthy for either of us, and... it took e a while to realize it." A sigh.
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 9, 2018 15:34:40 GMT -8
Jazz would remain bent over 'catching his breath' for a lot longer than necessary. It helped to calm him and well, he... really wasn't looking forward to this at all. Standing up fully, Jazz would stretch a bit and stare at the ocean as Luke started to speak. It was easier to deal with hearing bad news that way. He said something about a Gumshoos and Nilly which had Jazz biting the inside of his cheek. That was one thing that hadn't changed, his feelings towards Nilly. Maybe they never would. But, if Nilly had helped Luke discover something, if he was actually good for him... maybe they weren't so bad. Maybe.
Luke explained what he had felt, what he thought he was supposed to be. It kind of confused him, really, but there was something that Jazz could relate to up to a point. He'd been searching for a place to belong, a place where he could be useful. And then Luke went on to explain the kiss and... Fuck this. Hands clenched into fists as Jazz tried to calm down. That was something his aura training had helped with and Nik and... everyone else. He was calmer and a lot more stable now. Perhaps a break had been good for them after all.
It would take a while before Jazz trusted himself to speak up again. Even then, he would take a deep breath before looking back at Luke. "Do you realize how long it's taken me to be alright with this, Luke? Do you know what that kiss did to me?" His voice was quiet, even. There wasn't any anger behind his words, it was just a matter of fact now. "I know how it feels to look for meaning in being someone. I know that feeling so much it hurts. To want to be useful, to help others. It's why I love this project so much. Because it'll help someone I care for. But this...?"
A deep breath would be taken before Jazz spoke again, looking back at the ocean for the time being. "I didn't need you to kiss me, Luke. Do I want that kind of relationship? Hell yeah. You know that already. These... feelings are something I still can't bury. You gave me hope and that perhaps is the most painful thing about all this. But... you strung me along, allowed me to think you wanted something more... out of obligation? I don't want to be someone you feel obligated to stick around. That's not fair to either of us."
Looking back at Luke, Jazz thought about reaching out but ended up shoving his hands in his pockets instead. I'm... glad you realize it now but... Luke, you know that you don't have to carry everything by yourself, right? You don't have to be everything. Yunno, Nik talked to me a bit after you left and... I'm sorry for putting too much on you. For making you feel like you had to be there. That wasn't fair either."
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 9, 2018 16:06:28 GMT -8
When Jazz didn’t reply immediately, Luke sighed and glanced outwards at the water again. He expected as much, but it needed to be said so. Some part of him wanted to evaporate and be done with it, go back to his lab and never speak of this again. It would be so much easier that way. As Jazz started speaking however, he glanced back in silence, giving him the measure that he had had just a few minutes before. A small puff of air escaped passed his lips as Jazz spoke, but still no words.
Still, the longer Jazz went on, the more apparent it was that he was different. This was not the hyper emotional, vaguely explosive person who’d cried over just about anything at the right moment in time. This was someone who had calmed down quite a lot, was able to work through feelings, and be ok. A soft sigh escaped from Luke. Thank Arceus. The sense of relief was… so nice, really. And yet….
A hand reached up and mushed red locks, curled, twisted them a bit as Luke looked out at the sea. “Neither you or Orion know how painful it is,” he finally answered. “You both just went and did what you wanted and left everyone else to be adults— to have to deal with all the consequences of everything.” Luke huffed out a weird breath and fell silent for a moment before continuing on.
“Some people had to stay and be responsible… someone had to care for those who were injured in Era, had their lives taken in Era. Someone had to do everything I could to make sure things came out alright.” His hands tightened to fists and then relaxed again. “And I’m still not free of that. I will never be free of responsibilities nor do I want to be.”
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 9, 2018 16:57:37 GMT -8
A deep breath would be taken as Luke started speaking again. Why? Why was it so hard to believe that they had changed? That they had moved on and left the past behind them? Why did Luke have to bring something up that none of them could change? Still, Jazz would remain silent as he listened, allowing Luke to speak and watching the waves crash upon the shore. The sea was always so calming to him. Lucien had been right, Alola was beautiful.
"Dude, let it go. The past can't be rewritten. We were both fuckups, I know. It's something I still battle but, that messed up scared child isn't who I am now. Orion has changed. I have changed. All I can do is say I'm sorry and move on. I hope that's good enough for you." A shaky breath would be taken before Jazz tried to think of what to say next. This still felt so similar to that night, knowing that nothing might be good enough but... Those feelings were something he'd fight off and do his best to ignore.
"I will say it again. You don't have to be everything for everybody. You don't have to carry this alone. Isn't that what you told me after what happened with Nilly? You have friends, Luke, people who care about you. Just don't shoulder the responsibilities by yourself, alright? Thinking you can do it alone... well, that's just being selfish isn't it?"
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 9, 2018 20:01:08 GMT -8
Luke’s face twisted up, color coming to it. “I won’t just let it go,” he snapped. “It’s not just about you or Rion; it’s about me. It’s that I spent close to six years of my life watching people suffer and die. It’s me who had to stitch up more than my fair share of soldiers, civilians, and everyone in between knowing that they might not make it anyways. It’s me[/] who had to build medicines knowing that they could only mitigate the symptoms not cure the disease. It’s me who worked in that clinic and in that green house until the rebels all but fucking took it. I’m not going to let it go— those memories of those people or those events or any of it.”
Luke… Luke please… calm down please…. Nilly’s worried voice was ringing in the back of his head. This isn’t good for your heart or your body…. Luke knew that, was aware of that, but ugh if he wasn’t angry that this wasn’t obvious. That it had never been just about Orion and Jazz and that he wouldn’t give that up, not those feelings or whatever else. “Don’t tell me I can lean on someone else when no one understands what the hell I’m going through. Don’t call me selfish when you don’t have the kinds of expertise to have done what I did… You don’t understand. You can’t understand, and I don’t even know why I try anymore. ”
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 9, 2018 22:32:47 GMT -8
As Luke snapped at him, Jazz was taken aback initially. He hadn't expected such a heated explosion from him over a suggestion. Opening up his aura sight, Jazz could see how painful it was, could see the aura swirling behind Nilly's intimidating aura. Since training with Lucien, it had been easier to discern what colors and certain patterns meant. Oriana had even pulled him aside to give him a few pointers while they were there. It had been nice to show her his progress thus far but right now, he was more concerned about Luke.
I never knew... That was the point, wasn't it? Luke had suffered by himself without anyone to lean on, to offer support. It had brought him to this point and well... Why didn't I see it before? Well, there were several reasons for that but... it didn't excuse him from not understanding. Green eyes held Luke's golden one before he stepped forward and attempted to hug him. If allowed, he would hold Luke close and almost a little too tight but not enough to be uncomfortable for a few moments. If not, well, he would just fold his arms across his chest and pretend it never happened.
As much as Luke said he didn't understand, he did. He'd seen the terror of war, had watched his friends get into trouble and some were even killed before his eyes. Maybe not to the degree that Luke had but... still. "You're right. I was a punk kid then, obsessed with trying anything to fill the whole loss left in my life. I didn't watch people suffer day in and day out. But, do you know how I got some of these scars? I pulled nobles out of a burning building. I had the shit beat out of me for helping them, but I did it. I couldn't watch them suffer just because they were born into wealth and responsibility. My dad died fighting for them. How could-..."
Dammit, tears, why. Not now, brain stop it. That was years ago, they were over it. "But you're wrong about one thing. I do understand, or I want to. I didn't know, didn't realize what you went through and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that. War sucks, we both know that. But Luke, look at how far you've come since then. Look at what you've done. You have helped so many people since that time. You're working your ass off to help Nilly. You made the chroma cookie and man, I can't begin to understand the magic you do with plants but it's awesome," Jazz grinned, prodding a bit at Luke's shoulder.
"You are inspiring Luke. But you are right. I don't have the expertise. Cuz I'm just a kid that dropped out of school cuz they thought they were a no good piece of shit. But do you know what I've been doing? I'm working on an arm for Mia and Arceus if I don't know my shortcomings. Indi has been amazing but there are times when I'm frustrated because of what I don't know. But man, I'm having the most fun I've had in a long time. I love the feeling of being useful, of using what I know of engineering and applying it to something that will help. It's great and I want to keep doing it but... hell if I know where to start."
Yeah, ok, that was a tangent for another time. Oops. Well, he knew now at least? It was just, so nice to be able to talk again. No matter what the conversation was about. "Tangent aside, I only meant selfish because you have people that want to help. I mean, I know I can't do what you do, but I'm willing to learn. I want to understand. I want to hear your stories and things that you've gone through. I mean, I guess I'm jealous of Nilly because of that. They understand what I don't, even if I want to. You've been a rock for me for years, Luke. I just... I want to return the favor. If you'll let me."
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 10, 2018 12:05:41 GMT -8
Luke… really didn’t want to be touched right then, so as Jazz moved to hug him, he sort of just leaned back. His own arms folded in front of him in response instead. Nilly swayed a bit but settled right after. As Jazz started talking, Luke’s lips pressed together hard. As much as his forebrain wanted to be sympathetic, he was already emotionally exhausted. There was nothing left to give. Luke nearly snapped at him again for insisting he understood, but as Jazz corrected himself, he settled again.
The attempts at reassurance earned a softer sigh. Luke …. Knew that. Knew these things. He knew that. He knew all of that. Why the heck did Jazz think he didn’t? Ugh. No. A hand reached up and rubbed the side of his face. He was so… damn frustrated. Even as Jazz shared all of how far he’d come, Luke…. was so ….. frustrated. So frustrated.
And…. then he had the audacity to say he wanted to understand, after going so far as to berate him with what Luke could only guess was some self-indulgent truth. This had been a mistake. A golden eye lidded a little. It was a mistake to try and explain this, to try and say anything about this. He didn’t want this, didn’t need this. He didn’t know what he needed but it wasn’t this. Some part of him wanted to run. To just… go back to work and forget about this. Instead, he stood there dejectedly, his lips not quite in a frown. No words would escape from him, no more emotion, no anything.
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 10, 2018 12:51:29 GMT -8
Shit. Fuck, this wasn't what he wanted at all. It seemed the more Jazz spoke, the darker Luke's aura got. Trying to explain what he meant hadn't done anything except make it darker and smaller. He had sorta expected Luke to reject the hug and just shrugged that off, leaning back a bit to give him some space. This though... dammit. How could he make it stop?
Luke's sorta frown had Jazz taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair. Yeah... that didn't sound like a heart felt response. Of course, Jazz had never realized how badly Era had affected Luke. He'd been too focused on himself to even bother thinking about others. How could he say he wanted to help others when he was clearly letting Luke down? Losing Luke wasn't an option and... well, maybe silence was better for now.
"Ya just... wanna walk fer a bit?" Maybe that would help too. Or at least lighten that aura up if he stopped talking. Everytime he opened his mouth it got worse so... yeah. The sound of the crashing waves always helped to calm him at least. He knew Luke enjoyed plants but... well, the ocean had to help some too, right?
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 10, 2018 14:06:59 GMT -8
Did he want to walk for a bit? No, not really. He’d been up and down the beach already since before Jazz had come, but he didn’t really have the energy to say that either. A sigh and a nod was all that would be given before Luke turned and started walking back down the long beach line. His head remained slightly down, his face rather blank. Engrossed by Nilly’s own Ultra Aura, Luke’s appeared small, weak willed. It swayed like a candle that could just as easily be blown out as it could continue flickering.
He felt so alone. He probably needed to talk to Orion about that, maybe. He tended to get it more than anyone else did. But of course he was probably off doing something or other with Nik, and that was fine. Sure, yeah. Slow breaths melded with the reverberations from the sea, but not much else escaped from Luke Indigo.
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 10, 2018 15:32:35 GMT -8
Shit. This wasn't going well at all, was it. No matter what Jazz did, Luke's aura only seemed to grow weaker, like a candle blown by the wind. Ugh. What could he do? What could he say? He'd never seen Luke like this before and he didn't like it. Or maybe it was just that he was more aware of others now. Who knew? Jazz wanted to fix things in between them, to go back to the way things were but... There's no going back, is there? Sure seemed that way.
"Sorry, man. Era sucked, I know it did. I didn't realize how much it sucked for you. I know I don't have your experiences and I can't understand exactly how you feel right now. I just don't want you to feel alone, yunno? Someone once told me that talking about it helps, a lot. Like, it's stupid how much talking helps. Maybe not to me, but, it would mean a lot if I could be that person." Arceus, he hoped that helped. Or at least more than his words had earlier.
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 10, 2018 17:56:02 GMT -8
Luke stopped walking as Jazz spoke. A yellow eye flicked to green ones and held it pretty hard for a second. “Why should I when you don’t listen?” he snapped back. “When I’ve already explained something personal to you and all you can do is throw it back in my face with vague story-protagonist jargon?” His jaw grit, and his eyes flickered forward again. “I don’t want to open up to someone who can’t ask the right questions or know or realize when I’m—“ His jaw clenched and he huffed passed pressed lips. “I’m going home. You should go home too.”
Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 10, 2018 18:58:39 GMT -8
When Luke stopped walking and looked at him like that, Jazz had to fight the urge to run. Dammit. He... really was making a mess of things, wasn't he? Luke accused him of not listening, of throwing it back in his face? Fuck. Just... could he have a do over? Please? What do you mean there were no do overs in life. How was that even fair? Arceus, no, he didn't want this.
Without thinking, Jazz reached out and grabbed Luke's shoulder. It wasn't a hard motion, just meant to stop him if nothing else. "I'm sorry, Luke. Really. I'm the one that's selfish, not you. You've done so much, it was wrong of me to even say that. I did listen. I just... was too busy to try and fix things that I put my foot in my mouth instead." Deep breath, deep breaths, don't try and fix it, not this time. Why was this so hard?
"I... I can see you're sad, more than that, you're tired or your aura looks tired. Like a candle flame about to burn out. I can tell, Luke. I just... I'm horrible at knowing what to do or say. Just, seeing you like this hurts so much. I want to help. I do. I want to see you smile again, like we used to and-... No, it's not about me or what I want. It's about you." Old habits were hard to break, weren't they? He was still a selfish, if well meaning kid. Ugh, no, he didn't want to lose his friend because he was just a stupid selfish fucked up loser.
"You went through hell in Era, watched people die. I was wrong to tell you to let it go. War leaves scars. Physical and emotional. It's ok not to be alright. It's ok. I won't understand it because I was and still am a selfish jackass that fucks everything up. I can't understand it, but I want to try. I just... I'm sorry Luke." Why did his voice choose right then to waver? Fuck, why did emotions have to stir up now. Era was still so fucking painful to talk about and now... Now here he was willing to dig it all up again for Luke. Was it worth it? It had to be.
Post by Luke Indigo on Jan 11, 2018 16:53:48 GMT -8
Luke fidgeted slightly when Jazz grabbed his shoulder. As much impulse as he had to look back at Jazz right then, his gaze stayed forward off down the sea line. His hands tightened to fists, but he wouldn’t say anything until Jazz had finished speaking for the Nth rant of this entire conversation. It was about him. It was about what he was going through. It was about what had happened and what he was dealing with, it was about how he couldn’t deal with some of it. But he was tired. Tired feeling all of this.
A soft sigh escaped from him, and he shrugged his shoulders lamely then. “You know I don’t like when you call yourself that,” was all he’d mutter back after a moment. That hung in the air for a little before finally a semi-louder set of words escaped from him. “I don’t know what I was expecting out of this conversation,” he finally stated.
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