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Post by Mai Odori on Feb 5, 2018 23:25:37 GMT -8
mai odori
| "Mai Valentine" (stage name) | 33 | F, Homoflexible Demiromantic |
| Caravella | Civilian | Gamer |
Appearance
Mai stands 5'9" flat-footed, and occasionally closer to 6'0" or taller in heels. She has a moderately tan complexion that can get a fair bit darker when she's gotten more sun. Her eyes are mostly a cool violet, but in warm lighting may look a bit more mid to slightly-reddish violet, and in some lighting may veer a soft indigo or even read vaguely "blue".
Thick, dark curls cover a little over half her head and fall a bit past her collarbone at their longest point; the rest is shaved pretty short. On rare occasion, she may have patterns shaved into the short part, but generally doesn't bother maintaining anything. Once upon a time, it was kept much longer, but as it became more difficult to manage, a mixture of vanity and not wanting to feel like she'd completely given up taking care of herself prompted her new style as a middle ground. The last several inches are a faded purple where she had dyed it all some time ago.
She is very busty with broad hips and an impressive backside. When she was a bit younger, a very narrow waist showed off borderline abs, and her arms were vaguely intimidating if she flexed. While she's fallen out of shape a lot since then, she's still got a fairly impressive figure. Her waist may have filled out more, but is still just thin enough to produce a bit of curve, and the small bit of soft pudge is pretty easy to obscure with the right clothing or flexing. She's lost a lot of her old muscle mass and definition, but is still deceptively solid and heavier than she looks (which has led to more than a few people attempting to literally sweep her off her feet only to find they couldn't, or picking her up only to fall over in the process).
Clothing is either fashionable and made to show off her body (corsets and short skirts or shorts are common), or comfy loose shirts and shorts or pajamas, with very little in between. Either all the effort (including loads of makeup) or little to no effort (which may sometimes include very light makeup as she does it as much as a hobby as for looks, but sometimes none or just whatever smeared mascara she hasn't cleaned off from before or whatever). With less makeup, one can often see darker circles under her eyes.
She has several ear piercings, and a tattoo on her right
Personality
- Introverted
- Snarky
- Passionate in the right situations
- Paranoid
- Determined
- Charismatic when she wants to be
- Pragmatic
- Struggles with self-doubt
- Fears letting people stay close to her for long.
- Deceptive
- Prone to mood swings
(Note: While not exactly a "personality trait", Mai has psychotic hallucinations that may affect her behavior at times, particularly in lending to the paranoia or mood swings. Her hallucinations are usually minor and easy to ignore, but there are exceptions; they can be audio, visual, or both, and the worst are usually both.)
History
{Childhood}Mai was born in an alternate Johto. Her mother was an accomplished fashion designer, and her father a successful businessman on the board of directors for a powerful company. As such, both parents were often busy with work or traveling or making and maintaining connections in their fields of study, and Mai-- an only child and homeschooled-- was often very lonely. The last Christmas she can remember spending with either parent, she was 6 years old, and only her mother was present.
For the most part, she learned to entertain herself with reading and games. Card games and board games played against herself, or playing out her toys having matches against each other, filled her time until her parents started buying her video games, which she took to like glue, finding them more immersive than books due to the interactive aspect. While she occasionally met other children of wealthy families, she did not have enough consistent contact to get to know them or to develop her social skills with peers for that matter, and she would not make anything close to a human friend until she was 13.
Before that, just before she turned 10, she lost her parents to a car accident. By that point, she was so used to them never being around that she didn't cry, and the closest she came to grieving was becoming a little more bitter and withdrawn for a while. When her family's servants tried to prompt her to attend the funeral, she said she didn't feel like it, and asked them to stop bothering her so she could beat this level in her game already.
Her relatives didn't exactly want her, but neither did they want the social backlash of abandoning a child. So they continued paying her parents' servants and Mai's tutors to care for and teach her, and checked in on her fairly rarely, effectively using her parents' old home as a vacation house or temporary residence when needed. Mai probably should have come to appreciate the servants as her Real Family, appreciated these people who genuinely cared for her, but she didn't. The butler who stayed through her whole life would eventually grow on her, and she remembers him fondly if remorsefully that she didn't appreciate him more while he was alive, but the maids and tutors and others all came and went every few years, and Mai never bothered getting attached.
It would be her butler who eventually gave her a Spritzee to keep her company. Mai took this as a cruel joke at first. It looked like a bird, and she loved birds. But it was a stupid pure Normal-type [in her universe], and would never grow into the kind of bird who could fly her away. Worse: when it evolved, it would lose even its pseudo-flight. But in time, she did grow to love i--her, and it was nice to have some sort of constant companionship, even if her Spritzee couldn't talk.
Mai was rarely allowed to leave the house without an escort, and it very much drained and grated on her in time. Either they could be super distant and let her do what she wanted or overprotective and actually around. This distant but overprotective bullshit got old fast. Every activity had to be approved and was carefully monitored, and she was often told no just to save the hassle. She did manage to get into a dance class, among a few other vaguely social activities that got her out of the house, but she never really connected with anyone there.
Occasionally, one of her aunts or uncles would invite her along to an elite party, effectively using her as a morality pet. Oh, look at my poor orphaned niece I help care for, look what a bright young woman she's growing into when it suits me. Mai found it obnoxious, but at least she got to interact with people. Unlike being dragged all over the place with her parents, she even started to learn faces and details attached to them. Coy behavior was encouraged, and she learned to play the social Game. It wasn't super healthy and taught her to be manipulative and self-serving even more than her upbringing already had, but at least she was learning to interact with people at all, right?
For the most part, she learned to entertain herself with reading and games. Card games and board games played against herself, or playing out her toys having matches against each other, filled her time until her parents started buying her video games, which she took to like glue, finding them more immersive than books due to the interactive aspect. While she occasionally met other children of wealthy families, she did not have enough consistent contact to get to know them or to develop her social skills with peers for that matter, and she would not make anything close to a human friend until she was 13.
Before that, just before she turned 10, she lost her parents to a car accident. By that point, she was so used to them never being around that she didn't cry, and the closest she came to grieving was becoming a little more bitter and withdrawn for a while. When her family's servants tried to prompt her to attend the funeral, she said she didn't feel like it, and asked them to stop bothering her so she could beat this level in her game already.
Her relatives didn't exactly want her, but neither did they want the social backlash of abandoning a child. So they continued paying her parents' servants and Mai's tutors to care for and teach her, and checked in on her fairly rarely, effectively using her parents' old home as a vacation house or temporary residence when needed. Mai probably should have come to appreciate the servants as her Real Family, appreciated these people who genuinely cared for her, but she didn't. The butler who stayed through her whole life would eventually grow on her, and she remembers him fondly if remorsefully that she didn't appreciate him more while he was alive, but the maids and tutors and others all came and went every few years, and Mai never bothered getting attached.
It would be her butler who eventually gave her a Spritzee to keep her company. Mai took this as a cruel joke at first. It looked like a bird, and she loved birds. But it was a stupid pure Normal-type [in her universe], and would never grow into the kind of bird who could fly her away. Worse: when it evolved, it would lose even its pseudo-flight. But in time, she did grow to love i--her, and it was nice to have some sort of constant companionship, even if her Spritzee couldn't talk.
Mai was rarely allowed to leave the house without an escort, and it very much drained and grated on her in time. Either they could be super distant and let her do what she wanted or overprotective and actually around. This distant but overprotective bullshit got old fast. Every activity had to be approved and was carefully monitored, and she was often told no just to save the hassle. She did manage to get into a dance class, among a few other vaguely social activities that got her out of the house, but she never really connected with anyone there.
Occasionally, one of her aunts or uncles would invite her along to an elite party, effectively using her as a morality pet. Oh, look at my poor orphaned niece I help care for, look what a bright young woman she's growing into when it suits me. Mai found it obnoxious, but at least she got to interact with people. Unlike being dragged all over the place with her parents, she even started to learn faces and details attached to them. Coy behavior was encouraged, and she learned to play the social Game. It wasn't super healthy and taught her to be manipulative and self-serving even more than her upbringing already had, but at least she was learning to interact with people at all, right?
{Teen Years}When she was 13, she finally met a boy who was different. This was no love story or even rivalry, no. He was 8, and a little annoying, but he was as annoyed being used as a prop as she was and played some of her favorite games. So once Mai learned this, it became a habit to, when she got bored of "the Game", to play the part of his "big sister" figure who selflessly "put up" with this younger kid to keep him out of the grown up's hair... which was to say, went to find a quiet corner to geek out about video games and card games together or find a place with enough room to spar their Pokemon. Along with her Spritzee, she'd picked up an Oricorio who helped with her dance lessons, while he sported a Mime Jr. and was especially proud of his rare albino Deino. His Pokemon were honestly stronger than hers, but she managed to hold her own often enough through superior strategy at least for the first few months. Though she got frustrated when he caught up with her in that regard at such a young age, she knew it was him being unnaturally good, not her being bad: the two of them tag-teaming could defeat older trainers with ease the scant few times they got into double matches.
By the time she was 14, though, she had grown quite fed up with her sheltered life, and seeing her singular friend anywhere from twice a month to once in a few months was not proving adequate socialization. Her relatives still refused to let her attend most events and things, and only certain things she'd been doing for years could be done without an escort constantly watching her. So naturally, Mai took advantage of those times, and began sneaking off. She'd skip dance class or slip away from some event or other and just... do anything else.
She'd go to the pier and look out at the sea. She'd go to the beach and meet people, sneak out to the edge of town to train her Pokemon, sneak into a concert, anything.
After a few months of this, she tried sneaking out of the house one night. She met an older guy who seemed willing to take her under his wing, but by the end of the night he was drunk and even Mai was tipsy, and it became clear he expected a little more than her company. Fortunately, she panicked after just a kiss, and upon admitting "I'm 14", he quickly backed way off and dropped her off at the edge of her neighborhood, not daring to go any farther. Trying to sneak back in, she climbed the fence, but lost her balance just as got over the top and stabbed her leg with the top of one of the bars. Her scream woke the guard Growlithe, who woke all the servants, and after falling from the top of the fence and dislocating her shoulder, she was more grateful than upset.
Surveillance was greatly increased for the following year, and Mai had little choice but to focus harder on her games and her Pokemon for distractions... but after a few weeks to mentally and physically recover from her bad night out, she also decided to focus harder on something else: her studies.
By the time she was 15, guard had dropped enough she could start sneaking off again, but she was careful not to do so too often and not after dark again. Rather, while she was grateful to have some reprieve, most of her time remained devoted to her skills or her school work. She was excelling in her classes, getting through course requirements in barely more than half the expected time. Her relatives were surprised but pleased, until at 16 and a half, they realized why.
She had completed her basic education, and largely took care of herself already. As such, getting herself declared a legal adult still took some work, but was very doable, and once she was independent she had full control over what was left of her parents' money. While her relatives had leeched a good deal, it was still more than enough to provide for herself for a few years, and selling her old house added to the funds.
She got an apartment in a nice part of town, roomy enough for lots of possessions but small enough to live alone without feeling overwhelmed. She started dating-- or, well, having brief flings with boys who seemed willing to buy her things; that was 'dating', right?-- and started looking into tournaments for any of the games she played anywhere nearby. Truly competitive play was new to her, but it was great experience, and her often being one of relatively few girls to show inherently got her attention. The internet was still fairly young, but she started a personal blog and attempted to build a name for herself.
Over the years to come, online gaming, social media, and more would bloom into existence, and Mai took advantage of all of it, improving her image alongside her skills. It was nice, in a way. She could go to a convention and be a celebrity (seeing other girls she'd helped inspire was always her favorite part), but on the street if people were staring, it was probably just for her figure, not recognition. She did a bit of competitive training and stage performing with her Pokemon, as well, but while they were fun hobbies that sometimes paid, in the long run she preferred things that relied solely on her own skills over ones that required team cooperation.
Boys were her playthings, but throughout this time, Mai did not make friends. She tried to keep in touch with her singular childhood friend, but as he got farther along in school went on to study business, he rarely had time for her, and Mai refused to let herself be phased. No one had ever stood by her before, save for her Pokemon and the family butler (who she felt awkward keeping in proper touch with, but did send a nice card on holidays sometimes), but even he'd probably been in it more for job security and just happened to be nice sometimes along the way, right?
By the time she was 14, though, she had grown quite fed up with her sheltered life, and seeing her singular friend anywhere from twice a month to once in a few months was not proving adequate socialization. Her relatives still refused to let her attend most events and things, and only certain things she'd been doing for years could be done without an escort constantly watching her. So naturally, Mai took advantage of those times, and began sneaking off. She'd skip dance class or slip away from some event or other and just... do anything else.
She'd go to the pier and look out at the sea. She'd go to the beach and meet people, sneak out to the edge of town to train her Pokemon, sneak into a concert, anything.
After a few months of this, she tried sneaking out of the house one night. She met an older guy who seemed willing to take her under his wing, but by the end of the night he was drunk and even Mai was tipsy, and it became clear he expected a little more than her company. Fortunately, she panicked after just a kiss, and upon admitting "I'm 14", he quickly backed way off and dropped her off at the edge of her neighborhood, not daring to go any farther. Trying to sneak back in, she climbed the fence, but lost her balance just as got over the top and stabbed her leg with the top of one of the bars. Her scream woke the guard Growlithe, who woke all the servants, and after falling from the top of the fence and dislocating her shoulder, she was more grateful than upset.
Surveillance was greatly increased for the following year, and Mai had little choice but to focus harder on her games and her Pokemon for distractions... but after a few weeks to mentally and physically recover from her bad night out, she also decided to focus harder on something else: her studies.
By the time she was 15, guard had dropped enough she could start sneaking off again, but she was careful not to do so too often and not after dark again. Rather, while she was grateful to have some reprieve, most of her time remained devoted to her skills or her school work. She was excelling in her classes, getting through course requirements in barely more than half the expected time. Her relatives were surprised but pleased, until at 16 and a half, they realized why.
She had completed her basic education, and largely took care of herself already. As such, getting herself declared a legal adult still took some work, but was very doable, and once she was independent she had full control over what was left of her parents' money. While her relatives had leeched a good deal, it was still more than enough to provide for herself for a few years, and selling her old house added to the funds.
She got an apartment in a nice part of town, roomy enough for lots of possessions but small enough to live alone without feeling overwhelmed. She started dating-- or, well, having brief flings with boys who seemed willing to buy her things; that was 'dating', right?-- and started looking into tournaments for any of the games she played anywhere nearby. Truly competitive play was new to her, but it was great experience, and her often being one of relatively few girls to show inherently got her attention. The internet was still fairly young, but she started a personal blog and attempted to build a name for herself.
Over the years to come, online gaming, social media, and more would bloom into existence, and Mai took advantage of all of it, improving her image alongside her skills. It was nice, in a way. She could go to a convention and be a celebrity (seeing other girls she'd helped inspire was always her favorite part), but on the street if people were staring, it was probably just for her figure, not recognition. She did a bit of competitive training and stage performing with her Pokemon, as well, but while they were fun hobbies that sometimes paid, in the long run she preferred things that relied solely on her own skills over ones that required team cooperation.
Boys were her playthings, but throughout this time, Mai did not make friends. She tried to keep in touch with her singular childhood friend, but as he got farther along in school went on to study business, he rarely had time for her, and Mai refused to let herself be phased. No one had ever stood by her before, save for her Pokemon and the family butler (who she felt awkward keeping in proper touch with, but did send a nice card on holidays sometimes), but even he'd probably been in it more for job security and just happened to be nice sometimes along the way, right?
{Young Adulthood}When she was 21, she started hitting bars and clubs a bit more often, and those were usually fun enough. Sometimes the boys were too pushy, and sometimes she had to punch a dude to defend herself or some other girl who was being harassed, but even those things fueled her ego and made her feel like a badass, so win-win in a sense, right?
A few months after her birthday, though, she stumbled across a different setting: a lesbian bar. Mai always knew she found girls very aesthetically pleasing, but always sort of assumed she was probably still straight. But hey, she was vaguely curious, and wasn't really in the mood to deal with boys that night anyway, so she may as well check it o---this was amazing???? Just??? The ways girls flirted were so different, and they were all so cute or gorgeous and fierce or-- aaaahh??? It became a regular hangout for her, and while whatever flings she had were no deeper than they'd been (and sometimes still were) with boys, she found it easier to be amicable later with girls at the very least, and didn't feel like she had to fake as much about her personality to have a good time.
She started making something vaguely resembling friends. They weren't people she'd go out of her way to spend time with if they didn't happen to be at the bar, and she wouldn't have expected them to come to her aid if she needed help outside select situations. But she vaguely cared about their well-being, and enjoyed seeing them when it was convenient. In particular, a few of the older women-- some lesbians, some bi or pan, some cis and some trans-- took on vaguely mentor roles for her.
She became fiercely Proud, and all the more willing to defend any girl for almost any reason. Sorry boys, no, these lesbians aren't making out for you to watch, take a hike. What, you say bi girls always cheat? Maybe if you were worth a damn you could hold onto your girl, stop blaming her. Who's 'not a real woman'? Bitch some of the most amazing women she'd met were trans, you needed to back down. (Queer boys took less priority, but she met a few over time she liked well enough, and she wouldn't let anyone get away with 'phobic actions at any rate.)
It would be this investment that led her to immediately pay a small fortune for a Shiny Toucannon when she came across one for sale. A Pokemon-- a bird at that!-- sporting a huge bi pride flag on its beak? YES PLEASE. Even if she doesn't identify as bi anymore, she's still very pleased about this pride borb.
By the time she was 24, Mai had built quite a brand for herself as a pro gamer, won a number of high-end tournaments all over Kanto and Johto plus a few overseas, had more 'boyfriends' and 'girlfriends' than she'd bothered trying to count for years, and had never once felt romantic attraction toward anyone. That was fine. She'd picked up the term "aromantic" at some point, and that was fine by her. Her life was a bit lonely-- she still didn't have any genuinely close friends, after all-- but overall she felt she was doing pretty great.
...Until he came along. He was a loud, stubborn, annoying, vaguely aggressive little twerp she met at a tournament, and... he was... 16??? Gross? He was even younger than her stand-in 'little brother' figure was now. ...So why.. did she keep... thinking about him? The more she tried to find an answer, the more this weird feeling fit how she'd heard 'crushes' described, but ew?? No, he was a kid, and he was so full of himself, and so tactlessly bluntly honest, and so willing to call her out on any and all bullshit, but also so willing to forgive her and treat her like part of his group regardless, and did not hesitate for a moment to stand up for her despite barely knowing her, and genuinely didn't seem to expect anything in return, like he was just legitimately a caring person who somehow deemed her worthy of that kindness and--- uuuuuuuuuuggggggghh.
Okay... Okay he was kind of cute and very endearing and she supposed maybe at 24 she could consider trying to let someone get close, just once, and she had plenty of experience dealing with disappointment if it went wrong. She'd just... attempt to actually 'make friends'. ... Choosing the next tournament she entered solely because she knew he'd be there was a normal thing for friends to do to try to hang out and not, like, 'stalking' or anything right? (Wow how did she know nothing about this.)
She got to know him and some of his other friends over the course of a few months after that, and she actually liked most of them? She got invited to a tabletop RPG group, and she had fun! She did! She just... also always felt like she was imposing on them...
And then, to make matters far worse, some of the members of her new friend group started placing higher than her not only in tournaments, but popularity ratings. For all she'd done to build her name and for all she still excelled at, the crowd turned the moment her game started 'slipping'. Some of the worse detractors claimed she was never that good anyway, that she'd gotten by one charm and good looks and good luck finding players who sucked worse than her. Her friends tried to assure her that wasn't the case, that backlash didn't matter, that she was great and the people with opinions worth respecting still knew it.
A few months after her birthday, though, she stumbled across a different setting: a lesbian bar. Mai always knew she found girls very aesthetically pleasing, but always sort of assumed she was probably still straight. But hey, she was vaguely curious, and wasn't really in the mood to deal with boys that night anyway, so she may as well check it o---this was amazing???? Just??? The ways girls flirted were so different, and they were all so cute or gorgeous and fierce or-- aaaahh??? It became a regular hangout for her, and while whatever flings she had were no deeper than they'd been (and sometimes still were) with boys, she found it easier to be amicable later with girls at the very least, and didn't feel like she had to fake as much about her personality to have a good time.
She started making something vaguely resembling friends. They weren't people she'd go out of her way to spend time with if they didn't happen to be at the bar, and she wouldn't have expected them to come to her aid if she needed help outside select situations. But she vaguely cared about their well-being, and enjoyed seeing them when it was convenient. In particular, a few of the older women-- some lesbians, some bi or pan, some cis and some trans-- took on vaguely mentor roles for her.
She became fiercely Proud, and all the more willing to defend any girl for almost any reason. Sorry boys, no, these lesbians aren't making out for you to watch, take a hike. What, you say bi girls always cheat? Maybe if you were worth a damn you could hold onto your girl, stop blaming her. Who's 'not a real woman'? Bitch some of the most amazing women she'd met were trans, you needed to back down. (Queer boys took less priority, but she met a few over time she liked well enough, and she wouldn't let anyone get away with 'phobic actions at any rate.)
It would be this investment that led her to immediately pay a small fortune for a Shiny Toucannon when she came across one for sale. A Pokemon-- a bird at that!-- sporting a huge bi pride flag on its beak? YES PLEASE. Even if she doesn't identify as bi anymore, she's still very pleased about this pride borb.
By the time she was 24, Mai had built quite a brand for herself as a pro gamer, won a number of high-end tournaments all over Kanto and Johto plus a few overseas, had more 'boyfriends' and 'girlfriends' than she'd bothered trying to count for years, and had never once felt romantic attraction toward anyone. That was fine. She'd picked up the term "aromantic" at some point, and that was fine by her. Her life was a bit lonely-- she still didn't have any genuinely close friends, after all-- but overall she felt she was doing pretty great.
...Until he came along. He was a loud, stubborn, annoying, vaguely aggressive little twerp she met at a tournament, and... he was... 16??? Gross? He was even younger than her stand-in 'little brother' figure was now. ...So why.. did she keep... thinking about him? The more she tried to find an answer, the more this weird feeling fit how she'd heard 'crushes' described, but ew?? No, he was a kid, and he was so full of himself, and so tactlessly bluntly honest, and so willing to call her out on any and all bullshit, but also so willing to forgive her and treat her like part of his group regardless, and did not hesitate for a moment to stand up for her despite barely knowing her, and genuinely didn't seem to expect anything in return, like he was just legitimately a caring person who somehow deemed her worthy of that kindness and--- uuuuuuuuuuggggggghh.
Okay... Okay he was kind of cute and very endearing and she supposed maybe at 24 she could consider trying to let someone get close, just once, and she had plenty of experience dealing with disappointment if it went wrong. She'd just... attempt to actually 'make friends'. ... Choosing the next tournament she entered solely because she knew he'd be there was a normal thing for friends to do to try to hang out and not, like, 'stalking' or anything right? (Wow how did she know nothing about this.)
She got to know him and some of his other friends over the course of a few months after that, and she actually liked most of them? She got invited to a tabletop RPG group, and she had fun! She did! She just... also always felt like she was imposing on them...
And then, to make matters far worse, some of the members of her new friend group started placing higher than her not only in tournaments, but popularity ratings. For all she'd done to build her name and for all she still excelled at, the crowd turned the moment her game started 'slipping'. Some of the worse detractors claimed she was never that good anyway, that she'd gotten by one charm and good looks and good luck finding players who sucked worse than her. Her friends tried to assure her that wasn't the case, that backlash didn't matter, that she was great and the people with opinions worth respecting still knew it.
{Living Nightmares}Except they didn't. Media was so much like the social Game she grew up playing. The kids were too young to really Get It, but any slip-up Mai had from then was treated as a sign of her slipping and played for negative publicity. It took all her social graces to try to play it off, and even that only slowed her decline and dragged it out.
One former fan, it seemed, felt personally betrayed by her "letting him down", and started stalking Mai at public appearances demanding answers. When she blew him off for the third time, he decided more drastic action was required to ensure she paid for treating her fans so poorly. Unfortunately for Mai, he owned a very highly trained Hypno and Mismagius. He stalked her until he could catch her alone, then attacked her, putting her to sleep and having his Mismagius infect her dreams with horrific hallucinations.
It both exacerbated her natural fears-- her friends revealing they never really liked her, just put up with her; stress 'burying' her in a literal suffocating form and criticism 'eating her alive' in an equally literal way, the latter manifested as horrid insects-- and inflicted new and creative punishments on her, all within the confines of her mind. Occasionally, a happy memory/dream would break through, but whenever possible, Hypno would eat it away.
The fanboy took her to a hospital, claiming he'd found her collapsed in the streets. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong other than that she wouldn't wake up, but were touched by her devoted fan coming in twice a day to visit her. They wouldn't realize for over a week that he was using his Pokemon to keep her asleep. When he finally was caught, he was arrested and Mai woke up, but the damage was far from over.
Although she wasn't physically harmed at any point, in her mind the trauma she endured was very real, and even without the Mismagius still actively inflicting it-- even knowing her stalker was behind bars-- she couldn't close her eyes without reliving those memories or seeing him. Sometimes, she couldn't open her eyes, either. She wasn't sleeping, and soon enough she would accept that she was visually hallucinating.
She couldn't go to her friends. Her fear of confirming those dreams was far too real. She wasn't sleeping much, the nightmares even worse than her waking state. She couldn't concentrate, and didn't even want to think of trying to get back into the game now-- especially given rumors had flown around before the truth came to light that her hospitalization had been due to breaking down, and some folks still believed those, and a few gross trolls even claimed she 'deserved' what she got-- but she didn't know what else to do with herself. She tried getting help, getting medication for her anxiety and hallucinations, but it only made her reliant on them as a bandaid.
She packed up and moved to Unova, praying that getting far away would help ease her fear of her stalker getting out and finding her again, that it would get her away from negative feedback, that it would... help literally anything. But it didn't, not enough to matter. It eased some of her immediate fear, but she still couldn't sleep, had no one to connect to here, and was accomplishing nothing. She'd convinced herself if she trained her Pokemon more, she'd feel safer, like she could fight off any such attack in the future, but it felt like such a fruitless endeavor.
She kept training regardless. She evolved a Buneary she'd been keeping more as a pet before the incident, and taught it moves to help it deal with ghosts. She even dared to enter some small local tournaments in Castelia-- just the sorts of things a store might hold on a weekly basis, nothing big-- and she proved she could still do well, albeit among amateurs, so... sigh.
She felt like, in such a short time, she lost everything. She still had some old family money, but it would run out eventually at this rate, and what was even the point between now and then? She was overusing her prescriptions, and they weren't even working as much as she wanted. She reached a point of lethargy where the nightmares startled her awake, but didn't even leave her shaken after. She was so tired. So, "oh, this again". She didn't know why she bothered, and regularly questioned if she even should.
How ironic that the one to come to her aid would be yet another stalker, though Mai did not realize how long he'd been keeping an eye on her at the time. He challenged her to a Pokemon battle, and despite all her training, he readily kicked her ass. Mai expected to just discourage him, get him to leave, and go back to her vague semblance of living. Instead, as she watched her last Pokemon fall with his still in great health, her hallucinations kicked in in full force, and in fearing for her life she realized all at once how much she wanted to live.
Fortunately, the young man had no intention of harming her, helping her calm down and offering her a hand up. He introduced himself as Gunnar, and said he'd been a fan of her work for some time. He could tell she was a skilled strategist from her gaming prowess, and he'd seen her battling earlier in the day; something in her eyes, he said, told him she wanted to get stronger. He offered her help, and she was desperate enough to listen.
One former fan, it seemed, felt personally betrayed by her "letting him down", and started stalking Mai at public appearances demanding answers. When she blew him off for the third time, he decided more drastic action was required to ensure she paid for treating her fans so poorly. Unfortunately for Mai, he owned a very highly trained Hypno and Mismagius. He stalked her until he could catch her alone, then attacked her, putting her to sleep and having his Mismagius infect her dreams with horrific hallucinations.
It both exacerbated her natural fears-- her friends revealing they never really liked her, just put up with her; stress 'burying' her in a literal suffocating form and criticism 'eating her alive' in an equally literal way, the latter manifested as horrid insects-- and inflicted new and creative punishments on her, all within the confines of her mind. Occasionally, a happy memory/dream would break through, but whenever possible, Hypno would eat it away.
The fanboy took her to a hospital, claiming he'd found her collapsed in the streets. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong other than that she wouldn't wake up, but were touched by her devoted fan coming in twice a day to visit her. They wouldn't realize for over a week that he was using his Pokemon to keep her asleep. When he finally was caught, he was arrested and Mai woke up, but the damage was far from over.
Although she wasn't physically harmed at any point, in her mind the trauma she endured was very real, and even without the Mismagius still actively inflicting it-- even knowing her stalker was behind bars-- she couldn't close her eyes without reliving those memories or seeing him. Sometimes, she couldn't open her eyes, either. She wasn't sleeping, and soon enough she would accept that she was visually hallucinating.
She couldn't go to her friends. Her fear of confirming those dreams was far too real. She wasn't sleeping much, the nightmares even worse than her waking state. She couldn't concentrate, and didn't even want to think of trying to get back into the game now-- especially given rumors had flown around before the truth came to light that her hospitalization had been due to breaking down, and some folks still believed those, and a few gross trolls even claimed she 'deserved' what she got-- but she didn't know what else to do with herself. She tried getting help, getting medication for her anxiety and hallucinations, but it only made her reliant on them as a bandaid.
She packed up and moved to Unova, praying that getting far away would help ease her fear of her stalker getting out and finding her again, that it would get her away from negative feedback, that it would... help literally anything. But it didn't, not enough to matter. It eased some of her immediate fear, but she still couldn't sleep, had no one to connect to here, and was accomplishing nothing. She'd convinced herself if she trained her Pokemon more, she'd feel safer, like she could fight off any such attack in the future, but it felt like such a fruitless endeavor.
She kept training regardless. She evolved a Buneary she'd been keeping more as a pet before the incident, and taught it moves to help it deal with ghosts. She even dared to enter some small local tournaments in Castelia-- just the sorts of things a store might hold on a weekly basis, nothing big-- and she proved she could still do well, albeit among amateurs, so... sigh.
She felt like, in such a short time, she lost everything. She still had some old family money, but it would run out eventually at this rate, and what was even the point between now and then? She was overusing her prescriptions, and they weren't even working as much as she wanted. She reached a point of lethargy where the nightmares startled her awake, but didn't even leave her shaken after. She was so tired. So, "oh, this again". She didn't know why she bothered, and regularly questioned if she even should.
How ironic that the one to come to her aid would be yet another stalker, though Mai did not realize how long he'd been keeping an eye on her at the time. He challenged her to a Pokemon battle, and despite all her training, he readily kicked her ass. Mai expected to just discourage him, get him to leave, and go back to her vague semblance of living. Instead, as she watched her last Pokemon fall with his still in great health, her hallucinations kicked in in full force, and in fearing for her life she realized all at once how much she wanted to live.
Fortunately, the young man had no intention of harming her, helping her calm down and offering her a hand up. He introduced himself as Gunnar, and said he'd been a fan of her work for some time. He could tell she was a skilled strategist from her gaming prowess, and he'd seen her battling earlier in the day; something in her eyes, he said, told him she wanted to get stronger. He offered her help, and she was desperate enough to listen.
{Plasma and Gunnar}Gunnar told her of a group called Plasma, said he was a 'knight' for them. Mai was pretty certain chivalry was dead, and warned him he'd better not try any 'white knight' shit on her. If she could say one thing, her mix of wariness toward letting someone near her again and sheer desperation was oddly grounding. He was... vaguely flirty, which only made her more guarded and more suspecting she should probably just run now, but he was just flippant and distant enough that it was tolerable, and she soon got used to brushing him off.
Plasma was still in their recruiting stages, growing already but not yet a public force, but even here it was apparent there was a divide in the types of people it drew. Some believed in their "prince"-- the boy who would be their "king" one day-- apparently just called N. They believed in his vision of free Pokemon not living under human rule. Others just saw an opportunity to be part of something stronger than themselves, and to potentially abuse that power.
Gunnar, it seemed, was part of a third group. A small group who understood Ghetsis' true objective: to leave most of the world defenseless, making himself and his followers the strongest by default. To Mai in her cynicism, that sounded fantastic. As popular as training was, there were loads of other things people could entertain themselves with, and apparently 'normal' people could just... go out and make friends with each other, just by wanting to! Pokemon were nice, but most people didn't 'need' them, and clearly, it could be dangerous to let everyone run around with them unchecked. So sure, sign her up.
What's this about a Plasma Psychic with the ability and willingness to alter memories? Fuck yes please suppress her trauma memories. She never forgot, but thanks to weekly visits, it was like the incident was trapped behind a thick fogged glass. Who cared if it suppressed a lot of other things as a side effect or if this was most definitely a bandaid versus really dealing with the issue? She could sleep again.
She and Gunnar wound up working together a good deal as he sort of 'took her under his wing', by which she more meant he showed her the ropes and then when she insisted she was fine he refused to leave and kept requesting to be assigned with her even when she protested. It was, frankly, quite annoying, but he hadn't hurt her yet and his boundless energy and optimism and persistence--.... reminded her of her first crush, didn't they. UUuuuuuuuugh she thought she was over this.
Well, whatever. That aside, he was generally tolerable and occasionally endearing, and unlike her first crush, he was:
A) as detached from the world in general as she was, with a penchant snark that appealed to her cynical sense of humor immensely even though she tried not to let it show. While she no longer dealt so directly with her Mismagius trauma, she still had a lifetime of other baggage to feel resentful about, and she found he was oddly easy to vent to. And somehow just... being able to bitch about everything and have someone constantly there helped so much more than she ever expected. He didn't really "help", in a traditional sense; he just listened and occasionally gave snarky one-liners in response, mostly. But somehow, that did help.
B) selfish and hedonistic, in a way that... was vaguely comforting, knowing without a doubt he wasn't 'too good for her' the way she always felt her friends must be. ...For that matter, the more she got to know him, the more she suspected he was probably a sociopath but? oh well?? He looked out for her and a very very few friends, and Mai really got the impression that was as much because he'd decided they were "his" as any real sense of compassion, and he'd just as soon beat anyone else to a pulp for looking at him (or her) wrong. But it worked out for Mai, so who cared at this point.
and C) ....an adult. She kept swearing she wouldn't make a habit of it, and even tried to tell herself that it was gross and unfair to take advantage of his interest the way she would any cute boy in a club when he'd worked so hard to become a friend and confidant, tried to warn herself that if she indulged her desire she'd grow bored with him and then either not be able to get away or have to give up her new friendship. But for all her concerns that it was a horrible idea, they were pretty equally terrible people, and it was all too easy to let their friendship take on some benefits.
They climbed the Plasma ranks together, and between his support and her Psychic suppression, she was able to ween herself off her meds. She caught or "liberated" several more Pokemon (that would later be lost when she Fell), and Gunnar gifted her a Skarmory that he'd "liberated" from a rather talented trainer, telling her if she wrapped her heart in armor like Skarmory then no one could hurt her.
He'd later regret this, as after some months of working together, he started hinting that he had developed romantic feelings for her (something she long since realized, and ehhhh no thanks). She tried to ignore it, but he gradually got more overt. Once Team Plasma was out in the open and starting to gain negative notoriety, he at one point broke down into a full-on confession and asked her not only to be his girlfriend, but to run away with him, to figure out something else to do with their lives before Plasma took them down with it.
Mai's first instinct was to punch him, but she didn't. It was true it was probably wise to abandon ship, but she'd become so reliant on the psychic suppression, and didn't know if she could find another Psychic who could accomplish the same feat. He swore she didn't need it, that she was strong enough on her own, that he'd be there for her. He laid his heart bare, told her he understood her fear of failure, of humiliation, of both retribution and just letting herself down. He understood the drive to be the best, so no one could question your skills, and so you could always defend yourself from the world, and just as a point of pride. He had understood what that sort of status meant to her ever since he started watching her, and how deeply he related to her drive was why he'd approached her. But they didn't have to be the best at this; they could find anything else, enjoy anything else as long as they were together. She could go back to gaming, he might look into fighting. Or they could find something new together.
The way he presented it all... she wanted to. The thought was terrifying, but... she could genuinely... imagine herself being happy? She wasn't, but to even be able to envision it was such a foreign idea at this point. It sounded so cozy, and at the same time terrifying. She knew she needed time, and didn't want to show him how uncertain she really was. So instead... she challenged him. Told him if he wanted to be with the best, he'd have to prove he was the best. He was competitive and arrogant enough to accept, and they agreed to take the night to prepare their best teams and meet tomorrow.
Except Mai didn't show. She went home, thought about it, and packed up her stuff in the middle of the night to run. It was too much, and she was not ready to take that kind of leap only to be hurt again. She continued to work for Plasma across the region, and avoided Gunnar like the plague.
As expected, Plasma eventually fell. As... not expected?? they raised the whole secret castle headquarters out of the ground? How even? What legendary Pokemon had the power to do so and why were they not just using it in battle? Mai wasn't far off when it went down, and she headed there to help, but had definitely not realized this absurd display of power was in the plan. The full array of Gym Leaders turned out alongside some punk kids with unusually strong Pokemon, and the battle was incredibly chaotic. Apparently one was also a "hero" of something-- she didn't catch who was who between this kid and N, but a clash between two legendary dragons was happening up top.
Plasma never stood a chance, but what Mai recalls most from that day is catching sight of Gunnar at the battle just before seeing him struck down in the crossfire. Suddenly, nothing else seemed that important. Her birds were summoned and carried them to safety, and she made sure to strip him of any identification before taking him in to a hospital, such that he would not be linked with Plasma right away if at all. She didn't relax until the doctors assured her he was stable and should wake up soon.
She... was not actually ready to face him again, and didn't want to be there when he woke up. But at the same time, the level of fear she felt when he was in danger forced her to confront just how much she cared about him. She couldn't just leave as if she'd never been there, but she feared by the time she worded a letter he might be up and worse, might convince her to stay. She didn't want him to have an email or phone number to be able to contact her later, either. So... she left him the Skarmory he'd given her, so he would know she'd brought him here, and as a sign to guard himself in the aftermath of Plasma's fall. She left a brief message with a nurse, as well: to tell him the woman who brought him in was leaving him that Pokemon to help him out, but she'd want it back, so take good care of it.
She would come back, she told herself. She just... needed time to figure herself out.
Plasma was still in their recruiting stages, growing already but not yet a public force, but even here it was apparent there was a divide in the types of people it drew. Some believed in their "prince"-- the boy who would be their "king" one day-- apparently just called N. They believed in his vision of free Pokemon not living under human rule. Others just saw an opportunity to be part of something stronger than themselves, and to potentially abuse that power.
Gunnar, it seemed, was part of a third group. A small group who understood Ghetsis' true objective: to leave most of the world defenseless, making himself and his followers the strongest by default. To Mai in her cynicism, that sounded fantastic. As popular as training was, there were loads of other things people could entertain themselves with, and apparently 'normal' people could just... go out and make friends with each other, just by wanting to! Pokemon were nice, but most people didn't 'need' them, and clearly, it could be dangerous to let everyone run around with them unchecked. So sure, sign her up.
What's this about a Plasma Psychic with the ability and willingness to alter memories? Fuck yes please suppress her trauma memories. She never forgot, but thanks to weekly visits, it was like the incident was trapped behind a thick fogged glass. Who cared if it suppressed a lot of other things as a side effect or if this was most definitely a bandaid versus really dealing with the issue? She could sleep again.
She and Gunnar wound up working together a good deal as he sort of 'took her under his wing', by which she more meant he showed her the ropes and then when she insisted she was fine he refused to leave and kept requesting to be assigned with her even when she protested. It was, frankly, quite annoying, but he hadn't hurt her yet and his boundless energy and optimism and persistence--.... reminded her of her first crush, didn't they. UUuuuuuuuugh she thought she was over this.
Well, whatever. That aside, he was generally tolerable and occasionally endearing, and unlike her first crush, he was:
A) as detached from the world in general as she was, with a penchant snark that appealed to her cynical sense of humor immensely even though she tried not to let it show. While she no longer dealt so directly with her Mismagius trauma, she still had a lifetime of other baggage to feel resentful about, and she found he was oddly easy to vent to. And somehow just... being able to bitch about everything and have someone constantly there helped so much more than she ever expected. He didn't really "help", in a traditional sense; he just listened and occasionally gave snarky one-liners in response, mostly. But somehow, that did help.
B) selfish and hedonistic, in a way that... was vaguely comforting, knowing without a doubt he wasn't 'too good for her' the way she always felt her friends must be. ...For that matter, the more she got to know him, the more she suspected he was probably a sociopath but? oh well?? He looked out for her and a very very few friends, and Mai really got the impression that was as much because he'd decided they were "his" as any real sense of compassion, and he'd just as soon beat anyone else to a pulp for looking at him (or her) wrong. But it worked out for Mai, so who cared at this point.
and C) ....an adult. She kept swearing she wouldn't make a habit of it, and even tried to tell herself that it was gross and unfair to take advantage of his interest the way she would any cute boy in a club when he'd worked so hard to become a friend and confidant, tried to warn herself that if she indulged her desire she'd grow bored with him and then either not be able to get away or have to give up her new friendship. But for all her concerns that it was a horrible idea, they were pretty equally terrible people, and it was all too easy to let their friendship take on some benefits.
They climbed the Plasma ranks together, and between his support and her Psychic suppression, she was able to ween herself off her meds. She caught or "liberated" several more Pokemon (that would later be lost when she Fell), and Gunnar gifted her a Skarmory that he'd "liberated" from a rather talented trainer, telling her if she wrapped her heart in armor like Skarmory then no one could hurt her.
He'd later regret this, as after some months of working together, he started hinting that he had developed romantic feelings for her (something she long since realized, and ehhhh no thanks). She tried to ignore it, but he gradually got more overt. Once Team Plasma was out in the open and starting to gain negative notoriety, he at one point broke down into a full-on confession and asked her not only to be his girlfriend, but to run away with him, to figure out something else to do with their lives before Plasma took them down with it.
Mai's first instinct was to punch him, but she didn't. It was true it was probably wise to abandon ship, but she'd become so reliant on the psychic suppression, and didn't know if she could find another Psychic who could accomplish the same feat. He swore she didn't need it, that she was strong enough on her own, that he'd be there for her. He laid his heart bare, told her he understood her fear of failure, of humiliation, of both retribution and just letting herself down. He understood the drive to be the best, so no one could question your skills, and so you could always defend yourself from the world, and just as a point of pride. He had understood what that sort of status meant to her ever since he started watching her, and how deeply he related to her drive was why he'd approached her. But they didn't have to be the best at this; they could find anything else, enjoy anything else as long as they were together. She could go back to gaming, he might look into fighting. Or they could find something new together.
The way he presented it all... she wanted to. The thought was terrifying, but... she could genuinely... imagine herself being happy? She wasn't, but to even be able to envision it was such a foreign idea at this point. It sounded so cozy, and at the same time terrifying. She knew she needed time, and didn't want to show him how uncertain she really was. So instead... she challenged him. Told him if he wanted to be with the best, he'd have to prove he was the best. He was competitive and arrogant enough to accept, and they agreed to take the night to prepare their best teams and meet tomorrow.
Except Mai didn't show. She went home, thought about it, and packed up her stuff in the middle of the night to run. It was too much, and she was not ready to take that kind of leap only to be hurt again. She continued to work for Plasma across the region, and avoided Gunnar like the plague.
As expected, Plasma eventually fell. As... not expected?? they raised the whole secret castle headquarters out of the ground? How even? What legendary Pokemon had the power to do so and why were they not just using it in battle? Mai wasn't far off when it went down, and she headed there to help, but had definitely not realized this absurd display of power was in the plan. The full array of Gym Leaders turned out alongside some punk kids with unusually strong Pokemon, and the battle was incredibly chaotic. Apparently one was also a "hero" of something-- she didn't catch who was who between this kid and N, but a clash between two legendary dragons was happening up top.
Plasma never stood a chance, but what Mai recalls most from that day is catching sight of Gunnar at the battle just before seeing him struck down in the crossfire. Suddenly, nothing else seemed that important. Her birds were summoned and carried them to safety, and she made sure to strip him of any identification before taking him in to a hospital, such that he would not be linked with Plasma right away if at all. She didn't relax until the doctors assured her he was stable and should wake up soon.
She... was not actually ready to face him again, and didn't want to be there when he woke up. But at the same time, the level of fear she felt when he was in danger forced her to confront just how much she cared about him. She couldn't just leave as if she'd never been there, but she feared by the time she worded a letter he might be up and worse, might convince her to stay. She didn't want him to have an email or phone number to be able to contact her later, either. So... she left him the Skarmory he'd given her, so he would know she'd brought him here, and as a sign to guard himself in the aftermath of Plasma's fall. She left a brief message with a nurse, as well: to tell him the woman who brought him in was leaving him that Pokemon to help him out, but she'd want it back, so take good care of it.
She would come back, she told herself. She just... needed time to figure herself out.
{Figuring Things Out}Naturally, "figuring herself out" entailed a lot of world travel and avoiding her problems. To be fair, it worked to a point. The nightmares and hallucinations started to come back, but they felt mild, manageable. She'd gotten so much distance, proved she could be so strong, it no longer felt so fresh and overwhelming. Certain triggers still got to her, but she was... okay, mostly? Not to mention on the off chance anyone from Unova was looking for her (Gunnar, police, whoever) constantly moving made her harder to find.
She got back into gaming, seeking out the most ideal tournaments and getting into a number of new games. She didn't let her training lapse too much, though she didn't catch much new in this time either, just made sure her favorites stayed in good shape.
In time, she met a girl who was a lot like her, and almost as skilled at one of Mai's favorite games. They had been aware of each other in name prior, and after finding they got along well, they impulsively decided to form a tag team for the 2-on-2 matches at a rather large tournament. "Hey actually, you know what would be a good idea? Staying at my apartment while you're here to save on hotel costs." Couldn't argue with that logic! Oh, she's into girls, too? Even better, should be a fun few days.
"Oh you know, there's a smaller thing for a different game next weekend if you wanna say a bit longer, it's not too big a deal but could be fun." "Oh wow, this past week has been a blast, you're welcome to stay a bit longer if you want." "I know you love my cooking so I made your favorite. Not that I'm trying to tempt you to stay a little longer or anything."
How the fuck had Mai been living here for three months? ...Four?? She'd been so terrified of committing to something so recently, but then this just sort of... happened? Her girlfriend (wait when did they even make this official? was there ever one set moment or had they just both taken to the title gradually?) was... occasionally way too high-strung, but otherwise so easy to get along with, and they shared so many interests, and Mai was... so happy? Five months, six....
"I love you..." The words slipped out of Mai's mouth one morning, half asleep as she watched her girlfriend leaving for her day job. She didn't react, and Mai was pretty sure she hadn't heard her, but she heard herself, and when it fully set in Mai panicked. Did she? Did she really though? And...
Did she really expect her to return it? Everything had been so... idyllic these past months, but what about when it wasn't? What about when it inevitably came to light that Mai wasn't always like this? When her psychotic episodes started acting up worse, or when she made some stupid selfish decision because she'd had approximately three close friends in 26 years and still didn't always know how to handle them? What about when it came out what a bitter cynical person she really was deep down, or if her girlfriend learned about all she'd done in Plasma? The thought of trying her best and still being rejected in the end was more than she could bear.
...So she sabotaged herself. She went out, got half-drunk, and brought a girl 'home' from the bar, deliberately so her girlfriend could catch them. In Mai's mind, if she could forgive her for such a thing, maybe there was hope that she'd understand more, but she was-- understandably-- devastated and furious. She... wanted to be more furious, but hurt overtook it, and she did care enough to give Mai a week to pack her stuff and get out versus just kicking her to the curb, but please don't touch her in the meantime. It... started with also 'please don't speak to me unless you have to', but by the end of the week it became clear they were still too compatible as friends to harbor too deep a grudge. Her now-ex-girlfriend would not forgive this and didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, but was willing to stay friends. Mai was... both deeply relieved and deeply remorseful, unable to stop wondering if things would have gone better if she'd tried just admitting past faults or literally anything else instead of this, but... too late for that now, huh?
She traveled a bit longer, still doing well enough, but found she was lonelier now. She'd experienced the sort of constant companionship Gunnar provided with a lighter and more innocent tone akin to her first crush, and even keeping sort of in touch with her ex, she craved seeing people regularly again. She craved an honest emotional connection that she didn't get from flings. She'd managed to build her reputation back up, was treated as a 'queen' by fans again, but she wanted companions, not subjects...
...She may have also picked up a new guilty pleasure in the form of a remake of a show she'd loved in her childhood, which was... about a purple vaguely-noble female protagonist who had been sheltered all her life and spent so much time honing her personal skills that she was only just now as a grown adult really discovering friendship for the first time and okay Arceus Mai could take a fucking hint.
She resolved to... try to get back in touch with both Gunnar, who she hadn't seen in about a year at this point, and her old friend group, who she hadn't seen in longer. The latter had mostly just graduated, and were moving on to different things, but she managed to get in touch with them at least. Even if some were only casual online friends from then on, they did seem happy to hear from her again.
She got back into gaming, seeking out the most ideal tournaments and getting into a number of new games. She didn't let her training lapse too much, though she didn't catch much new in this time either, just made sure her favorites stayed in good shape.
In time, she met a girl who was a lot like her, and almost as skilled at one of Mai's favorite games. They had been aware of each other in name prior, and after finding they got along well, they impulsively decided to form a tag team for the 2-on-2 matches at a rather large tournament. "Hey actually, you know what would be a good idea? Staying at my apartment while you're here to save on hotel costs." Couldn't argue with that logic! Oh, she's into girls, too? Even better, should be a fun few days.
"Oh you know, there's a smaller thing for a different game next weekend if you wanna say a bit longer, it's not too big a deal but could be fun." "Oh wow, this past week has been a blast, you're welcome to stay a bit longer if you want." "I know you love my cooking so I made your favorite. Not that I'm trying to tempt you to stay a little longer or anything."
How the fuck had Mai been living here for three months? ...Four?? She'd been so terrified of committing to something so recently, but then this just sort of... happened? Her girlfriend (wait when did they even make this official? was there ever one set moment or had they just both taken to the title gradually?) was... occasionally way too high-strung, but otherwise so easy to get along with, and they shared so many interests, and Mai was... so happy? Five months, six....
"I love you..." The words slipped out of Mai's mouth one morning, half asleep as she watched her girlfriend leaving for her day job. She didn't react, and Mai was pretty sure she hadn't heard her, but she heard herself, and when it fully set in Mai panicked. Did she? Did she really though? And...
Did she really expect her to return it? Everything had been so... idyllic these past months, but what about when it wasn't? What about when it inevitably came to light that Mai wasn't always like this? When her psychotic episodes started acting up worse, or when she made some stupid selfish decision because she'd had approximately three close friends in 26 years and still didn't always know how to handle them? What about when it came out what a bitter cynical person she really was deep down, or if her girlfriend learned about all she'd done in Plasma? The thought of trying her best and still being rejected in the end was more than she could bear.
...So she sabotaged herself. She went out, got half-drunk, and brought a girl 'home' from the bar, deliberately so her girlfriend could catch them. In Mai's mind, if she could forgive her for such a thing, maybe there was hope that she'd understand more, but she was-- understandably-- devastated and furious. She... wanted to be more furious, but hurt overtook it, and she did care enough to give Mai a week to pack her stuff and get out versus just kicking her to the curb, but please don't touch her in the meantime. It... started with also 'please don't speak to me unless you have to', but by the end of the week it became clear they were still too compatible as friends to harbor too deep a grudge. Her now-ex-girlfriend would not forgive this and didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, but was willing to stay friends. Mai was... both deeply relieved and deeply remorseful, unable to stop wondering if things would have gone better if she'd tried just admitting past faults or literally anything else instead of this, but... too late for that now, huh?
She traveled a bit longer, still doing well enough, but found she was lonelier now. She'd experienced the sort of constant companionship Gunnar provided with a lighter and more innocent tone akin to her first crush, and even keeping sort of in touch with her ex, she craved seeing people regularly again. She craved an honest emotional connection that she didn't get from flings. She'd managed to build her reputation back up, was treated as a 'queen' by fans again, but she wanted companions, not subjects...
...She may have also picked up a new guilty pleasure in the form of a remake of a show she'd loved in her childhood, which was... about a purple vaguely-noble female protagonist who had been sheltered all her life and spent so much time honing her personal skills that she was only just now as a grown adult really discovering friendship for the first time and okay Arceus Mai could take a fucking hint.
She resolved to... try to get back in touch with both Gunnar, who she hadn't seen in about a year at this point, and her old friend group, who she hadn't seen in longer. The latter had mostly just graduated, and were moving on to different things, but she managed to get in touch with them at least. Even if some were only casual online friends from then on, they did seem happy to hear from her again.
{Rise and Fall}...And hello Gunnar what in the actual fuck were you doing in her home town in Johto?????? He... apparently was hoping she'd come back eventually and okay that plan worked out but dude??? Okay... Okay Mai was glad to see him regardless, and very touched when he gave her back her Skarmory, but she made it abundantly clear that while yes she cared about him and yes she was in a lot better place mentally, they needed to make sure they didn't rush into anything so she was only interested in rebuilding their friendship right--
They were dating within two weeks okay that was fine too. And living together within the month, sure, why not. Plasma's fall, it seemed, had humbled them both, and they'd both grown a lot in the past year, but still had the same connection as before. And with both in a better place mentally and in a more stable and mundane situation in life, they were... very happy for the most part for about a year.
Mai never could shake an odd feeling she had, like he was both suffocating her and not giving her enough at the same time. Her solution, put frankly, was to cheat on him, but not often and never with intent to hurt him. On some level, she saw it more like... she was a bird, and their relationship was a cage. And while it was a far lovelier and more comfortable cage than she'd been in growing up, it still made her anxious at times. By reminding herself she could open the door any time she wanted, by getting out and stretching her wings just for a night, she could happily come home and be more content with her lot for months. It was perhaps not the most ethical solution, and introduced its own stress trying to keep it secret, but she didn't have to feign the level of adoration and reassurance she'd pour on him any time he got suspicious or just was otherwise feeling a bit discontent. She loved him, and loved being with him, and her weird anxiety was her business to work out. She never wanted him to think it was something he was doing wrong, because she couldn't place anything that might have been.
Everything was going wonderfully... until that month she was late. Until that test came back positive. Until she realized she could not bring herself to tell him, could not imagine raising a baby. She dwelled on it for over a week, until finally she left him a note reading "I'll be back" and left.
She didn't know where she was going. She didn't know what she was doing. She had considered termination, but couldn't bring herself to think about it past that first time it crossed her mind. He'd never forgive her if he found out, and she couldn't stand the thought of losing a piece of him. Maybe... adoption? That could work... But months later, as she lay in a hospital holding her infant daughter, she couldn't bring herself to give her up in that way, either. Her eyes reminded Mai too much of his...
She.. probably should have just gone home, but her pregnancy had been hell, and she felt so stupid having gone through it alone if she was just going to go crawling back, and she feared his reaction. So she tried caring for her daughter alone. Or rather, his daughter.
And in a way, that was what it always boiled down to. Mai never felt like a mother. This tiny human came out of her body, but she still didn’t feel like hers. She was always his, in her mind, from the moment Mai first laid eyes on her. She even named her Victoria, for the closest person to a mother Gunnar had ever had; she felt it was what he would want…
Postpartum depression and anxiety both kicked Mai’s ass, and she hadn’t been terribly mentally stable to begin with. Breakdowns became a regular occurrence, her hallucinations became more frequent than they'd been since Plasma, and she felt like she had no one to call.
She and her first crush still shared a bond, and after reconnecting some time back they knew they could count on each other when it matters, but they rarely talked anymore, and she always felt like there was some sort of unresolved awkwardness between them that neither was willing to address. One other member of that friend group had managed to achieve vague "little sister" status at some point, and Mai did keep in touch with her, but... She was the baby of the group, still in high school, and not really able to be much support.
Mai's mental state deteriorated more and more over the months. At one point, she barely stopped herself short of hurting Victoria in a violent panic episode. At that point, she had to call her 'sister'-friend to come take the baby until she'd calmed down.
“Couldn’t do it” was the understatement of the century, but that was the only excuse she could bring herself to give Gunnar when she showed up with a six-month-old baby in arms, begging him to please be the parent she couldn’t. He was angry, confused, panicked, afraid. He wanted to be mad at her for leaving, for hiding his, but he was too busy begging her to stay. She left before the day was over.
For four years, she survived, and not much else. She rarely left her house, and was terrified of allowing anyone close enough to see what she’d become. She switched to online gaming, and did well enough-- at least enough to convince what fans followed her that this was just a new direction choice and not totally withdrawing from the world-- but... There was nothing fulfilling about it. She did try to visit her 'sister' on occasion, and doing so was usually the highlight of this point in her life, but it was so little...
At one point, she nearly overdosed on her meds, and between that and several other concerning instances, she finally had to make the choice to stop them altogether. No more drinking either. She couldn't trust herself not to hurt herself doing it, even if it meant she'd be so much worse off day to day.
About two or three times a year, Mai would make a quick trip home to try to get a quick glimpse and snap a photo of Victoria-- across the street, in the park, never making herself known or approaching Gunnar. She apparently was just going to have a lifelong weird relationship with stalking, but whatever. At least she could pretend she was, in the most technical sense of the word, getting to see her baby grow up.
It absolutely killed her that she’d been even more absent than her own parents were, but she kept telling herself it was for the best. Mai missed her parents less after they died, because at that point she never again had to be disappointed that they weren’t around when they’d said they’d be. In a similar regard, she told herself that as long as Victoria never had a reason to expect anything from her, she could never let her down. That it was better to have one overall feeling of “I don’t have a mom” than the hundreds of millions of ways Mai would end up hurting both her and Gunnar if she were around. That as much as it killed her to think of Victoria questioning her absence, those questions were still bound to hurt less than knowing how cruel Mai could be when the stress became too much.
They were dating within two weeks okay that was fine too. And living together within the month, sure, why not. Plasma's fall, it seemed, had humbled them both, and they'd both grown a lot in the past year, but still had the same connection as before. And with both in a better place mentally and in a more stable and mundane situation in life, they were... very happy for the most part for about a year.
Mai never could shake an odd feeling she had, like he was both suffocating her and not giving her enough at the same time. Her solution, put frankly, was to cheat on him, but not often and never with intent to hurt him. On some level, she saw it more like... she was a bird, and their relationship was a cage. And while it was a far lovelier and more comfortable cage than she'd been in growing up, it still made her anxious at times. By reminding herself she could open the door any time she wanted, by getting out and stretching her wings just for a night, she could happily come home and be more content with her lot for months. It was perhaps not the most ethical solution, and introduced its own stress trying to keep it secret, but she didn't have to feign the level of adoration and reassurance she'd pour on him any time he got suspicious or just was otherwise feeling a bit discontent. She loved him, and loved being with him, and her weird anxiety was her business to work out. She never wanted him to think it was something he was doing wrong, because she couldn't place anything that might have been.
Everything was going wonderfully... until that month she was late. Until that test came back positive. Until she realized she could not bring herself to tell him, could not imagine raising a baby. She dwelled on it for over a week, until finally she left him a note reading "I'll be back" and left.
She didn't know where she was going. She didn't know what she was doing. She had considered termination, but couldn't bring herself to think about it past that first time it crossed her mind. He'd never forgive her if he found out, and she couldn't stand the thought of losing a piece of him. Maybe... adoption? That could work... But months later, as she lay in a hospital holding her infant daughter, she couldn't bring herself to give her up in that way, either. Her eyes reminded Mai too much of his...
She.. probably should have just gone home, but her pregnancy had been hell, and she felt so stupid having gone through it alone if she was just going to go crawling back, and she feared his reaction. So she tried caring for her daughter alone. Or rather, his daughter.
And in a way, that was what it always boiled down to. Mai never felt like a mother. This tiny human came out of her body, but she still didn’t feel like hers. She was always his, in her mind, from the moment Mai first laid eyes on her. She even named her Victoria, for the closest person to a mother Gunnar had ever had; she felt it was what he would want…
Postpartum depression and anxiety both kicked Mai’s ass, and she hadn’t been terribly mentally stable to begin with. Breakdowns became a regular occurrence, her hallucinations became more frequent than they'd been since Plasma, and she felt like she had no one to call.
She and her first crush still shared a bond, and after reconnecting some time back they knew they could count on each other when it matters, but they rarely talked anymore, and she always felt like there was some sort of unresolved awkwardness between them that neither was willing to address. One other member of that friend group had managed to achieve vague "little sister" status at some point, and Mai did keep in touch with her, but... She was the baby of the group, still in high school, and not really able to be much support.
Mai's mental state deteriorated more and more over the months. At one point, she barely stopped herself short of hurting Victoria in a violent panic episode. At that point, she had to call her 'sister'-friend to come take the baby until she'd calmed down.
“Couldn’t do it” was the understatement of the century, but that was the only excuse she could bring herself to give Gunnar when she showed up with a six-month-old baby in arms, begging him to please be the parent she couldn’t. He was angry, confused, panicked, afraid. He wanted to be mad at her for leaving, for hiding his, but he was too busy begging her to stay. She left before the day was over.
For four years, she survived, and not much else. She rarely left her house, and was terrified of allowing anyone close enough to see what she’d become. She switched to online gaming, and did well enough-- at least enough to convince what fans followed her that this was just a new direction choice and not totally withdrawing from the world-- but... There was nothing fulfilling about it. She did try to visit her 'sister' on occasion, and doing so was usually the highlight of this point in her life, but it was so little...
At one point, she nearly overdosed on her meds, and between that and several other concerning instances, she finally had to make the choice to stop them altogether. No more drinking either. She couldn't trust herself not to hurt herself doing it, even if it meant she'd be so much worse off day to day.
About two or three times a year, Mai would make a quick trip home to try to get a quick glimpse and snap a photo of Victoria-- across the street, in the park, never making herself known or approaching Gunnar. She apparently was just going to have a lifelong weird relationship with stalking, but whatever. At least she could pretend she was, in the most technical sense of the word, getting to see her baby grow up.
It absolutely killed her that she’d been even more absent than her own parents were, but she kept telling herself it was for the best. Mai missed her parents less after they died, because at that point she never again had to be disappointed that they weren’t around when they’d said they’d be. In a similar regard, she told herself that as long as Victoria never had a reason to expect anything from her, she could never let her down. That it was better to have one overall feeling of “I don’t have a mom” than the hundreds of millions of ways Mai would end up hurting both her and Gunnar if she were around. That as much as it killed her to think of Victoria questioning her absence, those questions were still bound to hurt less than knowing how cruel Mai could be when the stress became too much.
{Return and Depart}She never imagined she'd bump right Gunnar one day while trying to sneak a glimpse of Victoria. When he tried to ask what she was doing back in town, she couldn't find words-- only fumbled for her wallet to show him the small stack of dated pictures-- the mini timeline-- that she kept inside.
Even after everything, he begged her to come back, and any endearing quality that had was severely overridden by anger at how thoroughly he did not understand how sick she was and hurt that she clearly did not deserve someone so willing to forgive. She refused, adamantly, at which point he did accept they wouldn't be a couple again... but pleaded for her to at least see Victoria, insisted she deserved a mom.
In an effort to compromise her fears and her guilt, Mai managed to convince him to let her see her under a false identity. She dyed her hair so it wouldn't match Victoria's and posed as an ‘old workmate’ of Gunnar’s. She knew she couldn’t handle Being A Mom or being part of this family, but under the guise of a caring friend, she hoped to work on– slowly– getting used to being around them again and getting to know her now four-and-a-half-year-old daughter as a person.
She had hoped to take this very slowly, and to avoid getting particularly tangled up with Gunnar again. She really... really wanted this to go smoothly, and yet?
Because she was an idiot who had not learned from the first two times how volatile they made each other, Gunnar managed to convince her to admit her real identity to Victoria after only two visits. Annnnd would you look at that it's raining really hard and it's a long two hours home and Victoria is worried and begging her to stay the night and someone please fucking kill Mai before she did something stupid--- like Gunnar, again, yes, thank you universe death would have been fine too but okay sure this was apparently happening now.
Over the course of six months, she proceeded to alternate between trying really hard to consistently stay in touch and not even texting for weeks on end. Gunnar grew increasingly furious with her long absences, and they started fighting more and more, which would only validate her feelings that she was fucking everything up just by being there and encourage her to stay away.
At one point, it eventually came out in some argument that she'd cheated on him back when they were actually together. This had been? a passing mention on her part? It wasn't even the focus of her thing, it was like four times like six years ago and who even fucking cared??? But apparently he did, a lot, and she will now never know if he was really that furious about this very specific thing after he'd dealt with so much else or if it was just the straw that broke the camel's back, but he finally started to agree with her that maybe she didn't need to be around after all.
After another few weeks, he finally contacted her again to begrudgingly try to reason with her that even if it was clear them seeing each other at all wasn't going to work, Victoria still deserved to see Mai. They were both supposed to take the day to try to figure out some kind of plan for visitation, but...
Mai went down to the ocean to try to clear her head. Everything was spinning and terrible. When a hole opened in the sky, it didn't really stand out to her amidst everything else she was seeing. She barely flinched when some sort of creature came barreling toward her; its appearance was new but this sort of thing happened all the--
Until it did grab her, and the last thing she remembered was struggling, and then waking up in a hospital in Aleal. It seemed they'd found her, no match on her ID, nothing on her but a wallet, a few Pokemon, and the clothes on her back.
It took some time to understand that this was another world, to fully process that whatever happened and wherever she was, she no longer had the option of going back. Gunnar would think she ran away again, or think her dead. And as horrifying as that thought was, it was also.... Well... She broke down crying, but the majority of them were tears of relief.
She has been settling into a new life, training and picking up a few odd jobs for money as she tries to get a foothold in this world's gaming community. In time, she found a small apartment in Caravella, where she could be near the sea again. As much as she hopes everyone back home will be okay, she also sees her falling as something of a second chance at life, and just hopes she can muster whatever she needs to not ruin or waste this one.
Even after everything, he begged her to come back, and any endearing quality that had was severely overridden by anger at how thoroughly he did not understand how sick she was and hurt that she clearly did not deserve someone so willing to forgive. She refused, adamantly, at which point he did accept they wouldn't be a couple again... but pleaded for her to at least see Victoria, insisted she deserved a mom.
In an effort to compromise her fears and her guilt, Mai managed to convince him to let her see her under a false identity. She dyed her hair so it wouldn't match Victoria's and posed as an ‘old workmate’ of Gunnar’s. She knew she couldn’t handle Being A Mom or being part of this family, but under the guise of a caring friend, she hoped to work on– slowly– getting used to being around them again and getting to know her now four-and-a-half-year-old daughter as a person.
She had hoped to take this very slowly, and to avoid getting particularly tangled up with Gunnar again. She really... really wanted this to go smoothly, and yet?
Because she was an idiot who had not learned from the first two times how volatile they made each other, Gunnar managed to convince her to admit her real identity to Victoria after only two visits. Annnnd would you look at that it's raining really hard and it's a long two hours home and Victoria is worried and begging her to stay the night and someone please fucking kill Mai before she did something stupid--- like Gunnar, again, yes, thank you universe death would have been fine too but okay sure this was apparently happening now.
Over the course of six months, she proceeded to alternate between trying really hard to consistently stay in touch and not even texting for weeks on end. Gunnar grew increasingly furious with her long absences, and they started fighting more and more, which would only validate her feelings that she was fucking everything up just by being there and encourage her to stay away.
At one point, it eventually came out in some argument that she'd cheated on him back when they were actually together. This had been? a passing mention on her part? It wasn't even the focus of her thing, it was like four times like six years ago and who even fucking cared??? But apparently he did, a lot, and she will now never know if he was really that furious about this very specific thing after he'd dealt with so much else or if it was just the straw that broke the camel's back, but he finally started to agree with her that maybe she didn't need to be around after all.
After another few weeks, he finally contacted her again to begrudgingly try to reason with her that even if it was clear them seeing each other at all wasn't going to work, Victoria still deserved to see Mai. They were both supposed to take the day to try to figure out some kind of plan for visitation, but...
Mai went down to the ocean to try to clear her head. Everything was spinning and terrible. When a hole opened in the sky, it didn't really stand out to her amidst everything else she was seeing. She barely flinched when some sort of creature came barreling toward her; its appearance was new but this sort of thing happened all the--
Until it did grab her, and the last thing she remembered was struggling, and then waking up in a hospital in Aleal. It seemed they'd found her, no match on her ID, nothing on her but a wallet, a few Pokemon, and the clothes on her back.
It took some time to understand that this was another world, to fully process that whatever happened and wherever she was, she no longer had the option of going back. Gunnar would think she ran away again, or think her dead. And as horrifying as that thought was, it was also.... Well... She broke down crying, but the majority of them were tears of relief.
She has been settling into a new life, training and picking up a few odd jobs for money as she tries to get a foothold in this world's gaming community. In time, she found a small apartment in Caravella, where she could be near the sea again. As much as she hopes everyone back home will be okay, she also sees her falling as something of a second chance at life, and just hopes she can muster whatever she needs to not ruin or waste this one.
Pokémon
Pokedex Name: Spritzee
Nickname: Kaori
Gender: Female
Ability: Healer
Moveset: Heal Pulse, Draining Kiss, Sweet Kiss, Calm Mind
[Note: Was 'normal type' in her home universe. Fairy powers are weird!? D: ]
Pokedex Name: Oricorio (Baille)
Nickname: Yureru
Gender: Female
Ability: Dancer
Moveset: Mirror Move, Teeter Dance, Revelation Dance, Air Slash
Pokedex Name: Skarmory
Nickname: Tetsu
Gender: Male
Ability: Keen Eye
Moveset: Steel Wing, Slash, Feint, Agility
Pokedex Name: Toucannon
Nickname: Hokori
Gender: Female
Ability: Skill Link
Moveset: Rock Blast, Bullet Seed, Beak Blast, Screech
Pokedex Name: Lopunny
Nickname: Umeko
Gender: Female
Ability: Cute Charm
Moveset: Dizzy Punch, Charm, Bounce, Foresight
Obtained: here
(using 2 Paint Spritz and 1 Shiny Spritz)
Skills (3/11)
Dexterity Major (2) - Kind of a necessity for a pro gamer. She can do some impressive tricks with cards and small projectiles like darts, as well.
-
Once upon a time she was pretty athletic and agile in general, but has largely fallen out of shape. For what it's worth, a year ago she was in much worse shape than she is now, but she's still far from what she was at her peak.
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Faller (1) - Mai comes from a Pokemon universe that roughly follows the RSE-BW timeline, where the Kalos War never happened, Mega Evolution doesn't exist, and Fairy-types either never existed or were never rediscovered. Kalos and Alola exist in her home universe, but events in them were more mundane and a few Pokemon species were different (many Normal-types) or non-existent. In her world, she was once a high-ranking member of Team Plasma.
Other Information
Pro(-ish) Gamer - Mai plays numerous games heavily both online and offline. She has done some beta testing and even one or two minor endorsement deals in the past, and won a number of high-end tournaments (for MMOs, MOGAs, TCGs, and she's placed but not won in tourneys for one or two FPS games), making enough to live on the prize money for a while until the next tournament. A lot of the games have slightly different rules in this world though and it's really been messing with her. >8T Not to mention losing all her save files and character data, ugh.
On the plus side, she retains things like system rules easily and is a skilled strategist.
---
Mai knows a lot about many forms of dancing (she'd damn well better with a name like Mai Odori) and, while out of practice, took piano lessons for her entire childhood.
Her dance skills are both a bit rusty and limited by unreliable knees (especially her left) and a tricky right shoulder. Both are usually fine, but occasionally act up-- a mix of aging and an injury when she was 14 to blame.
---
Mai had a daughter in her home universe but was never very close to her, and alternates between missing her and her daughter's dad and feeling they're better off without her.
---
Mai at this point is about 99.9% lesbian in practice. She still has feelings for her ex (her daughter's father); and her first real crush-- the person who made her confront that maybe she wasn't entirely aromantic after all-- was a boy. They are the only men she's ever felt romantically attracted to, however.
Past that, she used to identify as bisexual, and although she had a clear a preference for women she was very physically attracted to both. Over the years, though, she has become vaguely offput by most men, and has enough anxiety over the idea of getting pregnant again to get a sharp mental "NOPE" any rare time a guy does briefly catch her eye. Some base potential for attraction is there but she between zero and negative desire to act on it, and while some small buried ember that hasn't given up on love entirely suspects she 'could' potentially be fine if she fell for a guy and he was very very patient and supportive, she still really doubts she'll ever be seriously involved with anyone again, let alone a guy.
Girls are pure and wonderful angels by default and she does enjoy flirting with them, and in the right mood might it not be hard to convince her to go home with one, though she doesn't sleep around nearly as much as she did when she was younger. For as much as she's not into gallivanting anymore, though, she will immediately and fiercely defend any girl she sees who looks like she's in trouble. On more than one occasion, she has kissed a stranger being harassed and played the part of the jealous girlfriend to get a guy to go away, then apologized to the girl in question later.
OOC Information
OOC name: SG
Face Claim: [b]Overwatch[/b], Sombra / Olivia Colomar as [i]Odori, Mai[/i]
Continuity: Original
Other Characters? Sera, Seraph, Kiran, Kali, Kai, Hiro, Nik, someone help me please
Starter Items: 5 PokeBalls, 2 Move Techs, 1 Big Nugget (100 muns)
made by Wolf of GS
