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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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Oct 23, 2018 17:25:53 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 23, 2018 17:25:53 GMT -8
He nodded in understanding. He hadn't thought of hookie as sitting still, but now that she put it that way, he felt like he should have known better, heh. This was the chronic overworker, after all. "Fair enough." He laid out a choice of places around Faraday that were either free today or that he felt he could switch another schedule for with plenty of ease. Whether she wanted downtown to get some of the city feel or a perimeter check for the mountain air or around the slums where the crime rate was highest or wherever, he'd do his best to make it happen.
"Did ah..." C'mon Kai don't be so awkward about asking. "Did you want to go alone, or did you want a partner?" Admittedly, "I'd like to go if you want, but I could also call Sam or someone else if you'd rather."
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Interpol
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PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 6:41:25 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 6:41:25 GMT -8
Dasha listened carefully to each of the options available right then. Some part of her wanted to disappear into the mountain range, climb up a floating island, or something of that nature, but the more practical part of her knew that the city’s busier sections needed her attention more. Just… in general. “I think I’ll go with downtown,” she answered after a moment only to stop right after as Kai started speaking again.
Did… did she want to go alone? No— Her pride wouldn’t let her voice that, but it flickered in her eyes briefly anyways. I’d like to go if you want… She couldn’t see the value in him going out when he had such a ranking job and work to do there, but— Sam… Dasha bit the inside of her mouth. Since heading to Era, she’d tried to keep in contact but work and just… “Ah, yeah if you… can get out of the office for a bit, we could make a small circle around town and then go from there.” she decided rolling both shoulders and stretching out the tense back muscles that rested just below that. “I can be ready in a few minutes.”
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 8:38:39 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 8:38:39 GMT -8
"Sure thing." He nodded, hiding just how relieved and glad he really was. "It'll give me time to get my office in order real quick too." They headed inside and downstairs, and Kai moved back into said office. He unfolded the report he'd gotten from Dasha earlier and set on top of his "In" pile, checked he hadn't been in the middle of anything too important earlier, and asked Ted to keep an eye on things while he was out.
Once everything looked all right, he headed back out to meet Dasha. "Thanks for the excuse to get out, by the way. I get lowkey cabin fever being cooped up too long, heh."
Once they were outside again, he'd ask if there was anything in particular she'd like to talk about to pass the time, or if she'd prefer a quiet walk.
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Interpol
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PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 10:02:35 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 10:02:35 GMT -8
Heading down again, Dasha was quick to head over to her cubicle, move a few things around and take out what she needed when she got back, and fill her belt with the correct Pokeballs. Once that was done, she waited for Kai. A small nod and shoulder shrug was given at the thanks.
As they stepped outside, Dasha fished out a Pokeball and released Snowflake, who was quick to look around and fluidly step over to Kaimana. Pressing up against him very briefly, the Absol let out a small noise in greeting. Thereafter, she returned to Dasha’s side and remained walking there.
The question that came thereafter had Dasha chewing her lower lip. She’d had just enough time to think on things and remember some other things and… sigh. Her brows furrowed, and a hand reached back to curl into a few stray locks of hair. She didn’t even really know how to bring that up actually. It had been so long. She’d been planning to talk to him after the festival, but then Era needed her. And she didn’t… even know how Sam felt about it now. Sure they had texted but….
“I kind of meant to tell you… or… I guess ask you about it before the situation with Era got worse but…” A slow breath drew in and out of her. Snowflake drew a little closer just out of habit, and Dasha’s hand dropped to feel vaguely through her fur. “I’m…was….am? Was…Am?” There was too much mix up in her feelings right now??? She really wished she could have just… bottled those giddy feelings for the moment like this. “Crushing on Sam… I told her at the festival right before…” Sigh.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 10:16:21 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 10:16:21 GMT -8
Hello Snowflake yes you were the bestest prettiest girl and Kai missed you too. Of course Sable was also the bestest prettiest girl and so was most every good pupper when they were around but shh Snowflake was the one around right now. He happily gave her some scritches during that brief rubbing, but then kept his focus on Dasha and the patrol like she did after.
... Was?? Am?? What was she trying to-- oH??? "I.. see?" Kai was briefly grateful his dark complexion should hide his slightly heating face, but why did that elicit such a reaction in the first place? He'd long since told himself any vague sense of infatuation he had himself was just admiration and being impressed with her on a lot of levels, but... Hm yeah he guessed there was also that other thing huh...
"Why exactly were you meaning to ask me about it?" Especially if she already told her? Was it serious enough she was afraid it might interfere with work? Was she wanting permission for them to move in together or??? Surely not dating advice?? Or had Dasha bought into the occasional office teasing that he and Sam might have something? Arceus he hoped not.
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Interpol
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PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 11:47:08 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 11:47:08 GMT -8
Dasha chewed the inside of her mouth. From the corner of her eye, she glanced sideways trying to read Kai’s features for any other response than his initial vocalized one. As the second question was asked, however, her gaze flickered forward again. “I guess….” She was very sure at the time that she wanted to talk to Kai about this, but why had long since gotten jumbled up with her feelings and experiences. “How to handle it?”
Both arms folded in front of her. One hand pinched the inside of her elbow. “I’ve never been in a relationship— I’m… I never expected to be? I’m… I’m asexual, and Interpol complicates things and….” Breath in, breath out. “I guess also I don’t… know if it’s even the same now after months and work and…”
Her foot came down and Snowflake jolted which had Dasha jolting in turn. “Ah- are you ok?” The Absol let out a low noise of assurance, and a sigh escaped from Dasha again. Ok, she was fine, yeah.
There was a pause before Dasha went on again. “But I guess… you’re someone I trust to just listen and get it?” Dasha frowned harder, not sure if that was it exactly but unable to come up with a better response outside of that.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 12:00:44 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 12:00:44 GMT -8
I never expected to be. Ah, so his vibe was probably pretty accurate then. He felt both less... 'betrayed' was a strong word and yet the only one that came to mind... and more vindicated for feeling that vague feeling in the first place. Snow's reaction startled him a bit too, but once she settled down...
How to handle it, huh... "I..." He wasn't sure whether he felt more like he was talking to Nalani or to a younger Takeki here, but it was weird and awkward either way. "I wish I could tell you I trust you both not to let it interfere with work-- that part I do, to be clear-- so just go for it and see what happens but..." The feeling of dread welling up in and over him was almost unbearable. It was gross and he wanted it gone.
Whether Dasha had talked to Nik or not, she'd probably know that was close to his answer. To go for it and see what happened, along with some giddy teasing and the like. But Kai...
"The part of me that doesn't want either of you to get hurt thinks it's a bad idea." He grimaced, grinding his teeth a bit in the process. "Maybe I'm just projecting but.. If you're ace and... at least mostly aro? Have I got that vibe right?" he asked. "And she's not, it might be..." He let out a small groaning noise. "Difficult..." Much quieter, he added, "Trust me."
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Interpol
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PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 13:48:17 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 13:48:17 GMT -8
As Kai started speaking, Dasha had found herself staring at him. Just try it out. Yeah. Some part of her wanted to, after all, she wouldn’t still be thinking about it if that wasn’t the case. It wouldn’t interfere with work. Dasha was pretty sure she could handle that as well. Work was work, and everything outside of it was something else entirely. Professionalism was in her blood, and her ability to work had never been put off by her feelings for others— for better or for worse.
When Kai went on, however, Dasha found her lips pressing together. Blue eyes shifted forward, and she nodded a bit to herself. “Yeah…” was mumbled almost under her breath. The thought of hurting Sam in any capacity had crossed her mind multiple times— especially while out in Era. The thought of coming home hurt or otherwise had weighed much heavier on her than it had before, and maybe it had even changed her perspective some while out there.
A hand reached up to her short curls, and she couldn’t help but frown again. “I can’t… tell right now if …” she paused searching for a word that wouldn’t come readily. “If what I feel… is love but I… know she’s part of Veria and part of home….” Dasha was mumbling now more to herself than to Kai. “I don’t know how much I want a relationship as much as I want… to feel at home, but I also don’t think those two things are mutually exclusive.” She’d had a while to think about that, after all. Snowflake trilled a little softly and received some head pats from Dasha’s free hand again.
“I put my whole life on hold for Era.” That was a fact. “I ….just don’t want to … completely do so now anymore.” Another sigh but maybe a lighter one.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 14:14:14 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 14:14:14 GMT -8
Ow.... Ow, yeah that... Ow. "I get it." Too much. His head was kind of spinning from how much he got it. The army trained a sense of loyalty and devotion into its recruits, but it was hard to balance that with feelings for people, and harder when those feelings were so....
"I don't... mean to hijack the conversation here, just to relate, but... Did I ever tell you.. what hurt the most about learning Evelyn was getting married?" Arceus why did his brain decide to bring this back up now. "It was.. realizing I don't want to date anyone. I don't want a girlfriend, I don't want stupid giddy texting at 2am, I don't... want any of that romcom crap." He hesitated, but had explained too much to back out now, and admitted, "I just.. want a wife." Or a husband in theory maybe he wasn't that picky. "I want that sense of being home. All the boring domestic stuff you can't just skip to without all the offputting stuff first." And knowing he couldn't skip dating and didn't want to date... "I realized I probably.. lost the only chance I'd ever get but then..."
He grit his teeth. His eyes weren't watering, they were uh. sweating. That was it. His voice wasn't cracking either shut up. "She was my best friend and she left me as soon as she found someone who could be as romantic" and sexual "as she wanted." He clenched his fists; he was shaking lightly.
After a moment, he forced a pitifully weak laugh. "Now I don't know whether to tell you not to miss your chance or... warn you not to get too invested if she wants more than you can give." He sighed. "Maybe I'm just bitter... Sorry..."
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Interpol
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PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 14:36:19 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 14:36:19 GMT -8
It was Dasha’s turn to listen, and she did. Thinking back to the woman at the airport again, she remembered the weird confusion she had, the uncertainty she had felt on seeing it, and especially how it affected the children. She had none of the context for what had happened and never really asked for it (or wanted it, in fact). Now it was back up again, however, and sort of fleshed out in that moment.
What came right after, however, hit Dasha. A wife… And being home. All the boring domestic stuff… Her eyes pulled away from Kai. A best friend who left… Because… She wants more than you can give… It tightened in her chest some. A hand made its way up to the short curls of hair at the back of her neck as Dasha stare forward. She couldn’t bring herself to look directly at Kai right then. Her features, rather than reflecting pain or sympathy, had been swallowed up with a vague expression instead. She was thinking.
Snowflake, meanwhile, was much much much more sympathetic. “Arroo” A whine escaped from her, and she slowed and then sped up again to come onto Kai’s side. Leaning against him, she might have knocked him over had she been bigger or using her actual Pokemon strength. Instead, it was just a press of comfort, reassurance, empathy. Had they not been walking, she might have forcefully knocked him over and sat on him right then.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 14:47:19 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 14:47:19 GMT -8
Kai kind of felt bad for killing the conversation here, but he was starting to feel a bit numb, too, at least until Snowflake pressed against him. "Heh.. Thanks, Snow, but I'm..." Well, no, he wasn't fine. He was never going to be fine, was he? He was going to spend the rest of his life knowing his inability to either provide the kind of relationship she wanted or to feel okay with her supplementing his inadequacies elsewhere had led to him losing his best friend of fifteen years.
"Sorry..." he eventually mumbled to Dasha. "I know there's.. no guarantee Sam would be like that... I just..." He sighed slowly. "I'd hate to see either of you get hurt. I.. care about both of you a lot." Maybe that wasn't the most appropriate thing to say on the job, but who was gonna reprimand him? Heh.
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 15:15:42 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 15:15:42 GMT -8
Snowflake continued to press against Kai. He was far from a pup, but as far as she was concerned, he needed to be treated like one. Too bad she couldn’t really speak human words to him or give him a hug that wouldn’t be awkward for the both of them. Her eyes inevitably slipped over to Dasha, however, trying to gauge just what was going on with her.
It was only after Kai spoke again that Dasha finally glanced back to him. A soft sigh escaped from her, and her gaze sort of scanned over him thereafter. Her lips pressed together hard pensive for a few seconds before finally parting again. Her gaze flicked back in front of them scanning over the streets. “I don’t… know what you consider a best friend,” she spoke quietly. “But I…” A pause. “Nik—“ Another pause, and a weird sigh escaped from her. The muscles in her arms had tensed up again, and she shifted up a hand to rub the back of her neck.
“Nik is my twin.” She was pretty sure Kai knew that. “And when we were younger, we were inseparable. We didn’t always get along, but we were always together. I had other friends, but he was always at my side.” Dasha stopped walking at the corner and squinted at a crossing sign that was blinking weirdly. “When the Eran war got really bad…. I ran away from home and didn’t take Nik with me.” As the light flickered green, Dasha started walking again. “We had been best friends for most of our lives, and I let all of that go because….” Because…. Well, that didn’t really matter right now. A small shake of head was given. “I didn’t think I’d ever really see him again….I didn’t really want to see him again… For a while anyways.”
There was a pause as Dasha formulated her thoughts. “But I chose to come to Veria when I was unable to continue in Era… mostly because Nik was here. I…. got all dressed up with our other sib, Alex, and did all this stuff to try and make it seem formal and nice and…” Her eyes had watered, and she paused to wipe them without mushing her makeup too much. “That Gala ended up being the Rose event, and Nik and I had a fight right after.” A shaky sigh.
“We didn’t talk for a while but then….” She paused wincing a bit and trying to pierce together just how they had started talking again. Her head was throbbing a little, however, and so she let it be. “We did… we started talking and… apologized to one another and continued to talk. I even… we even shared an awkward as hell birthday party together….” A weirdly sharp laugh escaped from her at that, and a hand reached up to clasp her mouth to keep it short. “But we… may never be as close as we had been…. but….. we’re family. Nik is still one of the most important people in my life— to the point that I’d….” She paused and reached up a hand to rub her temple again. “Do my damndest to let him keep his other relationships in tact.” She hoped Kai understood all of what she meant like that. He had been dragged into it too, after all.
“What I’m… saying is…” Dasha stood about as tall as she could and with about as much ferocity as she could muster. “If you feel deeply about a relationship— a friendship, a best friendship or siblingship or … any relationship— it doesn’t just go away.” She paused biting her lower lip. She didn’t want to chastise him over a wound he so clearly carried especially when she didn’t know all of what he had endured or otherwise but. “It may disappear for a while but… but if you really value it you’ll try anything to reconnect even in a different way. It may not be what you want, but it’s still valuable.”
When had her heart beat started slamming in her ears? When had her features warmed so much? When had she stopped walking?
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 15:36:05 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 15:36:05 GMT -8
Kai listened attentively throughout the story, trying to see where it was going. Was she saying she'd already been through the regret of losing a best friend? Or that with all the ups and downs she was unsure what to expect from a best friend anymore? Was she just venting miscellaneous feelings, relating to him as he had to her?
...No, in the end, it turned out she was lecturing him-- or that was certainly how he wound up taking it-- and Kai's face heated enough to darken as he pursed his lips. "Maybe some folks aren't as forgiving as you and Nik," he muttered. That certainly wasn't a bar he expected to aim for-- how forgiving Dasha of all people was-- but here they were, he guessed.
He huffed an irritated sigh. "Sorry, it's just... I tried for fifteen years to be just friends, and she won't let me. If I give her an inch she takes a mile. She wants to hang on me, kiss me, and I used to be okay with it sometimes but I just... I got tired of it. If it was about having less than I want or nothing at all I'd be willing to settle, but I'm not willing to put up with so much I don't want and she's the one who won't settle for less, so I just..." His sigh this time was softer, shakier. "...Maybe it is me. Maybe my boundaries are just petty or.... I don't know..."
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 15:44:48 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 24, 2018 15:44:48 GMT -8
Dasha’s lips fell flat and finally pursed. How could… why did… he try for that long if… She couldn’t even imagine it, actually. It was so… foreign to her. “Why did…. You choose her to be your best friend then?” she finally asked. Had he been… just that desperate for someone, anyone, to connect with? It just… sounded so weird. Even now she didn’t… feel the need so much as it sounded nice? So much as it had coincided with… whatever. “If you’re not comfortable you shouldn’t have—“ She paused and shook her head. “I don’t—“ Understand. Yeah. Fifteen years? Just didn’t make sense any way that she looked at it. "I...can't imagine it."
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 24, 2018 16:03:33 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 24, 2018 16:03:33 GMT -8
Kai blinked slowly. On one hand, at least she seemed to be validating his sense of boundaries, but... Siiiigh.... "You don't always get to choose who you care about," he answered simply. "And you certainly can't pick who cares about you." He shook his head slowly.
"She was the one who was always there for me. Who I could trust to tell anything, and who trusted me in return. Hell, she raised our children. She always missed me when I was working, but never made me feel guilty for being gone.. at least not until toward the end." Goddamn eye sweat, must be allergies. He blinked it back before it could escape.
"Having someone to hold was nice. And I didn't... always mind how affectionate she was, especially when we were younger. It was nice sometimes... A lot of times it was just annoying, but... I tried to think of it like a kind of cute annoying." A quirk more than a nuisance. "I.. never did like her sleeping around, but we weren't dating so I told myself that wasn't my business. Maybe I should've argued more or something, but... I guess over the years our tolerance for each other's issues got thinner and thinner."
He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I still... think of her as family, and I'd drop everything in a heartbeat if she really needed me, but I just... got to a point it hurts to be around her. Especially seeing her with him. I mean...."
The sound that followed was a forced laugh, not a sob or a blend of the two, clearly. "You know I took this job to get away after she started talking about moving in with him? After being partners for so long-- not.. romantically but you know what I mean... She wanted to leave me for some guy she barely knew. Wanted us to have to figure out custody arrangements for someone she barely knew. Because our friendship wasn't enough for her. How would you feel?"
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