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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 16, 2018 20:50:12 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 16, 2018 20:50:12 GMT -8
Right after the Star Festival had ended, Dasha received a report from the Interpol agents in Era. It was chaos. What had started as a supposed attempt at peaceful negotiations with several sides had abruptly ended. The branch itself was nearly obliterated along with the lives of more than three fourths of the agents that had been in the area. Everything was in uproar again. It was more than dangerous to go back right then— but she had to. She had to for her people and for herself. She promised everyone she would be safe, not take any extra risks, whatever else they wanted to hear, but after everything, she headed out.
Dasha was in Era a long time. She kept in contact as much as she could, but the signal in some of the areas was just not there. She traveled a lot. Fought a lot. Cried a lot. The wear on her body was substantial enough with a loss of thirty pounds. The wear on her mind was arguably even worse though. After months, she finally boarded a ship back to Veria, and it was on that not-quite-cruise that she did her best to recapitulate who she was supposed to be. Stepping off the boat was tough either way. She returned home sat around a bit, but couldn’t really talk about or open up to anyone, exactly. Starry seemed good at least (and very happy to see Mama but when did you guys start calling her Angel, really??). She’d been well taken care of. Everyone else seemed in varying states of health. That was good.
…And yet she felt estranged, detached from it all, as if the time spent at war had been a void. What did you mean time had passed? What did you mean people’s lives had continued. What do you mean some of her texts hadn’t gotten through? It was all…. Distilling, she guessed, was the word. Distilling to be back in this peaceful place.
Maybe it would be better at work. Or not. The office was as busy as ever, and there seemed to be some new people around. A couple of people stopped and gave her sideways glances, but whenever she glanced sideways, they were quick to look away. She didn’t see Sam immediately, and that was a weird feeling. All of those giddy affections had been swept up in a torrent of fear and anxiety for her country, and she was vaguely aware that they were somewhere deep down but couldn’t tell how in tact they were after it all. That was… exhausting.
Coming up to Kai’s office, she paused momentarily before bending down to slip papers under his door and start away instead of saying anything immediately. If the door just so happened to swing open right after, though, Kai would see the other very evident change in Dasha. The long semi-curly locks often pulled up into a bun were completely gone. Her hair was cropped short, very short, with only minor curls in disarray at the back of her neck.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 9:55:58 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 17, 2018 9:55:58 GMT -8
Life had indeed been moving forward while Dasha was gone, although for Kai it had felt agonizingly slow. The kids had gone back to their mom (and stepdad, as if he deserved that title) and it was already only a few more months until they were back again. In the meantime, doing his part in helping to watch Angel-- er, Starry-- er?? Okay she was a little Angel sorry Dasha he didn't start this but he probably didn't help her answering to that now... Anyway, doing his part helping to watch her helped keep him occupied, but otherwise his days had been a lot of dull work mixed with occasional high stress work and a lot of anxiety over how one of his dearest friends was doing back in her warzone of a home.
It was probably excessive to worry like he had. She was a grown-ass woman more than capable of watching out for herself, but... Well anyway, he would have met her at the docks if he'd realized when she'd be in, but as it stood he'd been in the middle of confronting some smugglers across the region when she arrived. And he'd have met her when she arrived today, but he was still hung over from the night before and lost track of time.
So when he caught a glimpse of her through the slots on the window as papers slid under his door, he nearly tripped over his desk scrambling to the door, and nearly fell out of it before catching himself. "Da-- Laska!"
Holy shit. "Good to see you back," he tried to sound more composed. But his thoughts were preoccupied by how much more gaunt she looked, how much rougher. "You look.." Like hell. "Like you could use a drink.." he decided instead. Stooping a moment to pick up the papers he'd stepped over before, he asked, "Do you wanna come in...?"
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 10:21:44 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 17, 2018 10:21:44 GMT -8
The muscles in Dasha’s back tensed as the door swung open and her name echoed in her ears. Her head snapped back. Blue eyes flashed over Kai with an unexpectedly sharp scrutiny before registering it as him and relaxing some again. It would take a few more seconds for her to completely relax again. “Ah—“ Yes, she should have suspected he would be in his office, but that still hadn’t stopped the strange and knew visceral reaction. “Hello.”
Her lips pressed together at his assessment before folding into a soft frown. The question that came after had her hesitating. Her gaze flicked forward instead. “No—“ She didn’t want to come in to a closed off room with no immediate escape exists aside from one measly door. A weird half-second pause. “But I do want to go up to the roof….” And suddenly she was moving off not towards the elevator but the stairs that lead up that way. Pushing open the stairwell door, she waited a moment before starting up them in silence.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 10:29:57 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 17, 2018 10:29:57 GMT -8
No. Ah, well he couldn't blame her for wanting some space, she was probably exhausted and who knew what she'd been through these past-- but..? but what now? ... All right then. From 'grown ass woman' to 'anime high schooler' was fine. They could go up to the roof if she was more comfortable.
He followed her just as quietly, aside from the sounds of folding the papers he held into a pocket and zipping up his leather coat as they neared the top. The crisp October air was a bit much, especially this early in the morning and this high up in the mountains. He hoped she was warm enough, too, but then her home was the snowy north wasn't it. Maybe this was comfortable to her.
He would wait for her to speak first, unless it felt quiet for too long, in which case he might ask if she was okay. But he'd give her at least a few minutes to start conversing on her own terms.
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 10:50:44 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 17, 2018 10:50:44 GMT -8
A slow, cool breath drew into Dasha as she reached the top. Even at a distance, she could see the floating islands, and that was where her gaze inevitably fixed. Some part of her was both happy and disappointed to see them. Her arms folded in front of her as she shifted from one foot to the other.
The silence gave her a few minutes, but it was in that space that she realized she still didn’t really know what to say. Her report had the state of Era written out in full enough details. Kai could read that whenever he wanted and in a much better articulated way than what she could probably say aloud right then. Asking him how things were in Veria was just small talk that she wasn’t exactly sure she could maintain or even entertain too long. She could see for herself that not too, too much had changed? The islands were still out there. The city looked peaceful enough. She should probably have been happy, grateful even, for a sense of normalcy that was here right then. Instead, it just made her feel… bitter.
“…. I can’t save anyone,” she finally blurted out out of nowhere.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 11:04:17 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 17, 2018 11:04:17 GMT -8
Kai was finding it harder and harder to hold his tongue, but managed just long enough to let her speak. Then again, the words that came out made him wonder if it would have been better if he'd spoken first. A loud sense of oh nooo ran through his head and he had to fight back the urge to visibly react.
Instead, he took a few moments to compose himself, then answered flatly, "That's just not true." This wasn't an argument, it was just an observation. "You do-- and we do-- all the time. Think about, say.." He mentally searched for an example. "The fighting ring you and Parker broke up. You saved dozens of Pokemon from death matches that day alone."
He had a good feeling what she was trying to say, though. Unfortunately... "You can't stop a war by yourself. But that doesn't mean your efforts haven't helped anyone..."
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 17:32:25 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 17, 2018 17:32:25 GMT -8
Dasha chewed her lower lip. Her gaze wouldn’t shift to Kai even when he started speaking. An audible breath drew in as Kai insisted that her statement wasn’t true. The example that followed, however, had Dasha sighing heavily. That wasn’t what she meant, and he had to know that right? Or she’d become as estranged to Kai as everyone else. Dasha’d believe it.
Her fingers tapped against the crux of her arm feeling over the stressed and strained muscle just under her skin.
Kai spoke again, and blue eyes finally flickered to him. For a second, hot color flickered onto her features, and her eyes went glossy. After that second, though, she glanced forward again, reached up a hand and pressed her index finger and thumb against both eyelids. She tried a couple of times to speak. Lips parted and then sealed again several times over, but silence won over again.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 17, 2018 18:27:05 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 17, 2018 18:27:05 GMT -8
Kai did know, but he still had to try. He waited for some kind of response for some time, watching her frustrated gestures, but it seemed he wasn't getting any words any time soon. Finally, he sighed and went on himself. "I know it doesn't change how much you can't do.. I know it doesn't make it hurt less." He bit the inside of his mouth a moment, then gave into the thought, "I've seen war, Dasha." He knew she knew this, but thought it deserved emphasis here.
He moved a few steps closer, hands in his pockets, and sighed softer. "I wasn't trying to invalidate what you're feeling. I just... want you to remember you've done so much for so many people, too. You're the most devoted agent I've ever met, you know..." She might argue another time that her overtime was just to support her shopping addiction, but regardless the reason Kai was never less impressed with her dedication, nor less concerned about how hard she worked.
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 12:43:08 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 23, 2018 12:43:08 GMT -8
Dasha bit the inside of her mouth. I know. She knew he had seen war. How much or how little didn’t really matter. It was enough to solidify one form of kinship or another. But… She wouldn’t get a chance to finish that thought. The sounds of Kai shifting forward had her hand shifting and one eye flickering sideways to him. Her lips parted and pressed together again as Kai’s words hit the air. I know. She worked hard, as hard as she could, because this was not just a job for her but a mission, a crusade. She had joined Interpol for an explicit reason: to save her country and—
And.
A sigh escaped from Dasha. Her hand dropped entirely and folded into the crux of her arm again. Her gaze was half lidded and fixated on a point at a distance from them both now. She shivered only once before becoming absolutely still again. “I’m-“ A sharp inhale and a sharper exhale as if she were trying to cut through the air itself. Dasha started again. “I can’t save Era, but I can’t abandon it. I can’t just let it suffer but I can’t—“ She stopped herself. Her lips pressed tightly. The muscles in her thin arms physically tightened again, and the lines of her jugular were clear across her neck. Her jaw set tight in her head. She had thought over these things so much, but now they were absolutely impossible to get out in one go.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 13:23:25 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 23, 2018 13:23:25 GMT -8
Kai nodded slowly. It really was like he'd thought, then; she couldn't end a war by herself, but that didn't mean that fact was easy to accept. "I know," he murmured. "I-..." didn't really know huh? He'd never been through anything quite like this, but... "Can imagine.." His voice cracked a little on those words.
He quietly cleared his throat and went on though. "But it's not over." He hated to say so, but what else could he say when she was like this? "You're back in Veria now.. It's time to try to recover, to let me read your report and see if I can come up with anything to try, to research other options. You did all you could and you can't pour from an empty cup..." He bit his lip. "But.. once you've refilled it, you can go back, you know." Some part of him was thrashing in protest, but outwardly he remained perfectly calm. As much as he didn't want to see her in danger again, he knew she needed this.
"Maybe next time... you won't have to go alone." He wanted to offer to go with her personally, but knew his position tied his hands here pretty well, and he didn't want to offer anyone else by name without talking to them first. "Maybe we'll have a better strategy, maybe we can establish some kind of relations with one side or the other in the meantime, maybe... a lot of maybes, I know. But all we can do right now is pray some pieces line up a little better before next time. And that even if that still doesn't work, you'll leave things better than you found them." Her coming home probably meant the immediate crisis she'd left to combat had been resolved, right? At least in some sense? Ugh he really did need to read the report.
"...All right?" he asked, voice softer now. "Let's focus on taking care of you first." He reached out carefully. If she allowed it, he would pull her into a gentle one-armed embrace, but if she made any move to avoid it he'd quickly withdraw.
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 14:52:25 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 23, 2018 14:52:25 GMT -8
A slow breath drew into Dasha. A shaky sigh escaped from her. One of the hands that had been folded into the crux of her opposing arm shifted and lowered a bit pressing against her stomach some. It’s not over. It’ll never be over. Not until every last building collapsed into the earth. Not until every last person and Pokemon hit the ground and didn’t rise. It wasn’t over. It could never be. Her chest hurt. Her stomach hurt. Time to try and recover. Yeah. You did all you could. Yeah. You can go back.….
…….
Maybe next time—
………
Maybe we’ll— Maybe we’ll. Maybe we’ll. Maybe. Pray.
……
Let’s focus on taking care of you first…
Even with how slow and careful Kai was, Dasha jolted slightly. She didn’t pull away, however, and even grimaced at her own actions. Her shoulders slacked some and very carefully she leaned against Kai. She gulped a couple of times as a knot had formed in her throat, chest, and stomach. She hated it. She absolutely hated it. It was so frustrating, but she’d already cried about it.
After battling with herself for a few more seconds, Dasha finally sighed it out. “I… I don’t know if I want to go back…” Her voice was small and had a distinctly different tone to it than before. Was her accent maybe a bit thicker than before? Dasha herself couldn’t tell. Her face was progressively getting redder and redder. “I … I hate it… I’m… supposed to be a soldier— a knight. I joined Interpol to save Era— but I….” Her hands had balled into fists, and her whole arms trembled a bit.
“I…” When had her eyes started watering again? “I missed Veria.” It was out, and immediately her chest had clenched. A sharp breath drew in and out of her. “It… was so… so wrong. Era….It… didn’t feel like… home anymore and I….” She choked for a moment but was determined to get words out while she could. “I missed Veria. I missed… Nik and Sam and Starry and… and you….and…” A sob nearly broke but was stopped half way. “I don’t want to abandon Era. I don’t want to forget it. I don’t want everything that I did to be in vain or insignificant or….or any of that. I don’t want to … to….” She trailed off, and gave a deep sigh instead.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 15:48:36 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 23, 2018 15:48:36 GMT -8
Kai withdrew at first, but once Dasha leaned against him, he wrapped his arms around her and gently rubbed her back. He listened as she poured out these conflicted feelings, not wanting to give up on Era but wanting to stay in Veria. Missing Veria, missing... him? Oh. Oh his poor heart.
He didn't really know what to say to all this, but he held her a little tighter. "We all missed you too," he managed to say. "I missed you." He hesitated, but eventually raised a hand to stroke her short hair lightly.
In time, he loosened his hold. "You don't have to decide everything today... Just.. try to enjoy being home and we'll figure out everything else later. All right? You're home now." He took a deep breath. "It's... okay for home to move. It's okay... People love you here. It's okay."
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 16:16:16 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 23, 2018 16:16:16 GMT -8
Dasha didn’t know what to do with these feelings now that she had said them, this guilt now that she’d been open about it. Some part of her had hoped that some magical something or other would hear her plea and fix everything just by hearing it, but that was dumb and stupid and childish. She knew that. She knew that but. But. A slow, heavy sigh escaped from her, and she allowed herself to get just a little teary. It was impossible not to.
She didn’t need to decide everything today. Yeah. Yeah. Try to enjoy being home… Oh. Her eyes were watering again. Dasha blinked hard a couple of times. She was thankful to have put on water resistant makeup or this would have been a mess. Not that she expected it to be anything but. A hand reached up and rubbed at one side of her face careful not to mess up her mascara at least. “I guess… I’m home…” she finally mumbled back. That was a weird feeling.
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Interpol
Now I'm wearin' a smile that I don't believe in. Inside I feel like screamin'. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌺
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 16:44:31 GMT -8
Post by Takeki Kaimana on Oct 23, 2018 16:44:31 GMT -8
"Yeah..." Yeah. Now what? He seemed to be out of words, and rather than try to force some he just tried to settle his own nerves down in hopes it would help her do the same. He stood in silence for a while. Part of him had a Pavlovian desire to pull out a cigarette, but he resisted that itch knowing Dasha didn't care for it.
Eventually, he asked, "Do you wanna get settled in for the day?" He briefly hesitated, then asked, "...Or do you maybe wanna play hookie? We could go get breakfast. Pick up Ang--er, Starry. Take a mental health day."
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Interpol
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Chips
Oct 23, 2018 16:57:34 GMT -8
Post by Dasha Laska on Oct 23, 2018 16:57:34 GMT -8
The silence helped some. Dasha focusing on her breathing helped some. Her stomach was still upset, but that wasn’t new. The question had her chew her lip. The thought of taking a mental health day… sound stressful, and distantly she was aware it was the thought of being at rest that really……
A hand reached back and rubbed through her curls some. “I…. kind of would like to patrol actually… get back into the routine a bit…” she admitted. It felt vaguely embarrassing to say that of all things, but whatever at this point. “I didn’t really want to… sit still or anything…. It makes me feel…” Useless was the thought that came to mind, and Dasha immediately grimaced. She would rather be working overtime than feeling like that right now. Maybe later when Era had become less of a scar but.... not right then.
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