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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 19, 2016 9:49:53 GMT -8
nikolai maksimilian laska
| Nik (Normal) Nikki (Affectionate) | 24 (July 13, 1994) | Nonbinary, Pansexual, Demiromantic |
| Sinclair City | Civilian | Job-Hunting (Ex Fairy GL) |
Appearance
[Pronoun notes: Which pronouns Nik uses varies by situation, and he thinks of them much like wearing different clothes.
"He/Him" is a really old, worn, oversized sweater. It doesn't quite fit right, and he can be pretty self-conscious / embarrassed about strangers seeing him in it. Around family and close friends, however, it feels super comfortable and warm and cozy and familiar even if the actual fit isn't perfect. [Many posts and the profile info excluding the next few paragraphs will still use he/him.] Masculine language varies; "boyfriend" is fine, for instance, but "mister" is kind of weird and calling him a "man" is a sharp no.
"They/Them" is a really nice casual-but-fashionable outfit-- something suited for almost any occasion that makes them feel really confident and snazzy to wear, especially in public. That said, it sometimes takes a bit of effort to get in and out of, and they don't always feel like bothering. If someone doesn't get it right away-- or worse, comes back with 'but isn't that plural?'-- Nik rarely bothers pushing it or explaining farther unless they're in a pretty adamant mood already. Gender neutral pronouns and language make them feel really nice, but they don't feel a strict need for them in most cases (*) and in small intimate groups they don't really care either way for the most part.
(* - In the case of direct gender designators, "person"/etc is preferred and "man"/"woman" are both huge no's, though "guy" and maybe "girl" feel weaker and therefore a bit more okay depending on context. For things where the gender implication is more a side note as opposed to the direct meaning of the word being 'person of this gender', though, neutrality is nice but not so required.)
"She/Her" is a very fancy, formal dress. In just the right situation, it makes Nik feel fucking fantastic, but any other time can be very awkward and make her feel self-conscious; in the way such a dress tends to be too tight and stiff to wear around the house and too flashy for something like grocery shopping or a walk in the park. Strangers assuming "her" due to Nik's appearance tend to be annoying but ignored well enough, and taken better than strangers somehow assuming "him" would. For family and friends, feminine pronouns are preferably permission-based, although feminine language is much more often appreciated (excluding things like "woman" and "ma'am"). Please please call her "princess".]
Nikolai stands roughly 5'7½" to 5'8". (Prior to the cookie, he went between the 5'9"-5'10" range.) His frame size is somewhat broad both in shoulders and hips, and he has a pretty significant amount of both fat and muscle, though the prior makes the latter less obvious except when he flexes or exerts his arms. He's slightly squishy all over, albeit very solid under the layer of squish, but carries a lot of his weight around his hips/butt/thighs now. His waist is far from small, but much more narrow than his hips and shoulders, resulting in some noticeable curve. His breasts are what he'd like to call average, though given a lot of the folks running around Veria maybe a little below average is more appropriate.
His skin is naturally rather pale. When he gets enough sun-- a more common occurrence since moving to Pahala-- it tends to color a bit unevenly, resulting in faint and blotchy freckling especially across his nose/cheeks. While that most prominent patch has gotten dark enough to be pretty noticeable, the rest doesn't tend to be as much unless you're quite close and know to look for it. His other features are also quite pale: eyes a bluish-gray (veering more gray in most lighting) and hair a light silver. His eyes are a bit weak and near-sighted, but not debilitating and he finds glasses and contacts both hard to keep up with, so he just squints if need be.
His hair has always been a perpetual mess and very difficult to tame, seeming to defy gravity no matter what he tried. Between enough years of growing it out and a cookie-induced growth spurt, however, it finally lays-- well, still not flat, but vaguely downward, floofing out all over rather than sticking up at least. His bangs are still a mess, but he can live with that. The downside is the sheer volume now makes his hair hard to manage, and sometimes braiding it for a few days and/or still stuffing it under a hat is easier than dealing with it, heh. Stocking caps / beanies are preferred, though he has an extensive collection he might break out from time to time. He alternates between wearing his hair down, in a ponytail or braid(s), or under a hat, but sometimes opts for the latter just for sensory comfort.
He favors neutral tones and shades of blue for clothing, and mostly dresses in very casual, comfortable clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, jeans, khakis, sweatpants. (He owns entirely too many t-shirts with silly, snarky, geeky, or Pride-related prints.) If going out for training purposes, especially, cargo pants or shorts are very common, pockets loaded with whatever he might need because screw carrying a bag. While he might wear jeans or slacks in some situations, often if pants/shorts have less than six pockets Nik is uninterested, and even more pockets can rarely hurt. Dresses and skirts are still very new and require a specific mood to wear, and he might get self-conscious and decide to change before getting through the day... although, the idea of wearing a sparkly-ass breezy dress instead of a hot stuffy tux to a formal event sounds absofuckinglutely fantastic.
Nik's presentation can fluctuate a lot, though he's still most familiar with more masculine or neutral styles. He's been experimenting with feminine presentation for years, and a little eyeliner, lip gloss, or pink/girly shirts ("Princess" shirts have a special place in his heart) have been common for a while, but were also about as much as he usually bothered with. He feels more comfortable testing waters and slowly expanding his more feminine wardrobe now, and while he's still not sure exactly how far he wants to push that or how often, he does know that he feels the most consistently cute and happy with his appearance that he's ever been.
As far as markings go, he has two sets of scars on his back: three vaguely triangular, slightly sloped, shallow indentations on either side around the base of his ribcage. These were never wounds. His Mienshao just rides on his back so often and has large enough claws that they've slowly worn into permanent marks, which she now actively aligns her feet with when climbs on him. It is Her Spot and his is very okay with this, to a point he got two pawprint tattoos lined up under the scars to further emphasize the point.
He also has a few very light scars higher on his back from a Noivern attack, and a set of 3 slash marks across his upper right shoulder and chest from an Ursaring attack, the middle of which is the most obvious with the outer two being a bit lighter.
He has two piercings in his right ear and one in his left. He has a small stylized Mienshao tattoo on the upper left side of his chest, just a little under his collarbone. On his left shoulder, he has another tattoo that visually combines a Buddhist 8-fold Path with Arceus' emblem to represent a harmonious coexistence of different beliefs and lifestyles, inspired in a large part by his ex(*) after he finally got some closure with her.
(* - Notably, said ex has done all his tattoos except for half of the coexistence one, which he did himself with her teaching; and she did all but one of his piercings, his first in his right ear having been gotten when he was 13. He used to wear an Arceus symbol necklace religiously (in both senses of the word), but recently gave it to her as a show of support and prayer for her safety on the battlefield of their homeland.)
{Body Ref (semi NSFW)}
{Masc/Original Ref + Back Scars/Tats}
Personality
- Egocentric - "Selfish" isn't really the best word. Whether due to how much he was spoiled as a child or just how he naturally is, Nik has a very hard time seeing things from others's perspectives or comprehending that others's problems are as or more important than his own. While he can be actively dismissive of people at times, it's more often he just doesn't think too much about them in the first place. That said, if something "clicks" with him in a way that makes it resonate or he has particular reason to be invested-- for instance, an issue he cares deeply about or the well-being of a good friend-- he can be surprisingly effective at playing support, at least sometimes.
- Conflict-Avoidant / Diplomatic - Despite not caring much about other people, he also doesn't like the energy required for fighting them, and has been raised with the skills to be a literal diplomat, so he does tend to be fairly good at de-escalating situations and calming people... if he wants to... Wanting to is another question, considering--
- Troll - Nik actively enjoys antagonizing people for reactions. He usually tries not to severely 'hurt' people, but how careful he is depends greatly on his mood, the potential consequences, and who he's talking to. Making people severely confused or uncomfortable, though, is something he usually enjoys. Sometimes he achieves this by being openly abrasive or controversial or the like, but sometimes he puts his diplomatic knowledge to use and is extremely polite-- perhaps a little too polite? He absolutely loves riding a line where people can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not, at least when he's feeling up for it, and backhanded compliments are a particularly favored weapon of choice.
- Flirtatious - Not as much as when he was younger, and almost never with intent to be serious. But half because he kind of enjoys the game of it and out of sheer habit, he can still be fairly flirty at times. Though he is honestly more attracted to women physically, he's a bit more likely to flirt with guys or nonbinary folks simply because it gets more reaction.
(If he really wants to troll someone, he may even flirt with their Pokemon.) - Shallow and Flippant, but Deeply Loyal once attached - Most of the time, Nik just doesn't give a fuck about people beyond what they can do for him, whether that's as a longterm ally or a momentary diversion. But if someone does actually endear themselves to him, he kind of hates how important they can become to him. ... He can, apparently, actively deeply resent someone and still care entirely too much for them if they've managed to get him Attached.
- Terrified of Being Alone but also of Getting Attached - People suck. Why would he ever want them around? He desperately wants them around. He's deeply introverted. He doesn't have the energy to socialize all that much anyway. And yet, he craves human attention and validation so badly. His Pokemon are wonderful and on several different levels he would not survive without them. But he needs conversation partners, too. This might be easier to achieve if he had any solid idea of how to connect to people emotionally or if he didn't have severe abandonment issues. As it is, he's convinced everyone is either going to leave him eventually or only want him around when they're out of better options, and he doesn't handle rejection very well. So it winds up being a cycle of self-punishment either way.
- Begrudingly Hardworking - He hates it, and it's grueling, and he will bitch the entire time, but he's actually surprisingly good about forcing himself to do what needs to be done even when he feels like absolute shit.
- Artistic - Nik is probably a lot more artsy than people would expect from looking at him, given his generally lazy or at times actively displeasing 'fashion' and how crude he can come off. But he's a fairly good visual artist (
a lot of it might be lewd but he really can draw other things too when he wants to), a decent writer, can play a bit of piano and guitar and is a hell of a bass player. His singing voice isn't stellar, but pleasing enough-- a sharp contrast from his sometimes-grating speaking voice, at any rate-- and he can carry a tune. He rather enjoys playing with the different scenery option in his Gym's alternating Enchanted Forest setup, and switches things around regularly not just to keep it unpredictable but because it's fun to figure out what to do with it all.Ssh don't tell him he's basically playing with giant legos at that point. - Depressed - Nik struggles pretty badly with depression, and on bad days tends to shut out the whole world and refuse to get out of bed unless something pressing 'forces' him to. Diplomacy skills help him put on a mask in front of people, at least if he cares about keeping up appearances. If there's no consequence for not doing so, though, he can be painfully blunt or fall into very dark 'humor'.
- Self-Loathing - At worst, he's been dangerously suicidal in the past. Lately, it's more... ideation flashes through his head sometimes, but he at least recognizes it as an intrusive thought and dismisses it more easily now. He's kind of accepted as a fact of life that he's never going to be Good Enough no matter what he does, to a point he can't get as upset about it as he used to. If he felt like there was any chance of Fixing it he could hate himself for not doing that, but the absolute futility of it has reached a point that it's sometimes cathartic-- a point where he can find some level of comfort in it. Like... he was always going to Fail, and whether he fails by a little or a lot doesn't matter in the long run, so at least he doesn't have to blame himself for not trying hard enough, right? In a similar vein, he has an overwhelming appreciation for self-deprecating humor, and finds laughing at his own inadequacy to be one of the most effective ways of dealing with it. (That said, anyone else calling attention to his flaws can get incredibly varied reactions, depending on both his mood and whether or not the criticism was invited.)
- Paranoid - It's not really a matter of "if" something is trying to kill him but "what" as far as he's concerned. A mixture of general anxiety and having endured a few literal assassination attempts may possibly contribute some to this. Possibly.
- Agoraphobe - In his younger years, Nik would adamantly insist he wasn't afraid of being outdoors. He was just being reasonably cautious! Someone could mug you or kill you in your sleep or feral Pokemon or-- Who wouldn't try to avoid being eaten by a rabid Ursaring?? More recently though, he's come to accept... nah. He is blatantly agoraphobic. Being outside makes him nervous as hell. He physically cannot force himself to step foot into wilderness alone, and would have extreme difficulty even with an escort. He chose to live in Sinclair because "outside" there "isn't really outside", it's still on a train. Even with very urban streets or enclosed spaces, he needs crowds to feel safe. Walking through a busy mall is no problem at all. Walking through a quiet, empty mall is terrifying. Nope, nope nope nope. Nope.
History
Nikolai was born the son of a Baroness, in an isolated region still ruled by a functional monarchy. His mother was a ruler both strong and wise, and a firm supporter of the philosophy "speak softly, but carry a big stick". ...Except, where her children were concerned, she liked to conveniently forget where she placed said stick. Oh, but look! While looking for it, she found cake instead. Who wants cake??
As such, he and his twin sister Dasha were terribly spoiled-- or rather, oscillated between being spoiled and neglected. Even at a young age, Nik understood that his mother was a busy and important woman, and her job could cause her a lot of stress and make her very sad. He would not understand until many years later, though, that part of her struggle and source of her depression was having had several miscarriages.
When she was finally able to carry another child to term, it was a brutally complicated pregnancy, and the baby was born premature and very ill. Of course, being 5 at the time, Nikolai's thoughts upon overhearing his parents concerned about "losing" his new sister were mostly along the lines of "why don't they hire better doctors if these can't even remember where they put a baby??"
Eventually, though, both Ilya and their mother recovered, and Nikolai and Dasha both loved their adorable new baby sister. ......Right up until it became very apparent that Ilya was by far The Favorite. Their father did his best to reassure them that it just seemed that way because she was a baby, and babies required so much extra attention, but as the children grew, it became increasingly clear that no. Ilya was just blatantly favored. The world revolved around her, and she could do no wrong.
Naturally, the twins did the only logical thing they could think of and took it out on Ilya. The fact that her little world was so perfect she barely cared-- getting upset in the moment but forgetting every offense immediately after-- did not help discourage them from any angle.
Ilya even got a Pokemon first! ...Never mind that she had been the first to ask for one; their parents should have known that if Nikolai had ever thought about it or known Ilya wanted one then of course he would have wanted one too, and he could only assume Dasha would too!
As such, he got his Mienfoo just a few days after Ilya got her Oshawott because "the rascally devil must have slipped out of Santa's bag just before he brought in your presents! She was supposed to be here, though!" Nik was nearly thirteen by this point and not buying it for one fucking second, but at least he had a Pokemon now, and surely it was much stronger and all-around better than Ilya's, too! (All the same, he never challenged her to a battle just in case, though he'd never admit fear as the reason; he just didn't want to let her think he wanted to play with her, that was all.)
In general, Nikolai was usually pretty content just to ignore the brat. They had each other, and one of their family's servants had twins around their age-- Alex and Jakob-- who they often played with. He could pretty easily just stick to his own nice little world and leave her to hers.
But the same couldn't be said for Dasha. Nik always assumed it had something to do with the fact that while he was at least still the only boy, and therefore got some selective attention, most anything that included Dasha was either "the twins" or "the girls", and while the prior had literally always been a thing, the latter was pretty terrible to have to deal with. Eventually Dasha became pretty outright cruel toward the younger girl, but in the end this only made Ilya a worse brat. It was a mistake they would regret forever.
As things got progressively worse, Dasha became outright rebellious and began running away from home. Each time, it took Nikolai's desperate begging to bring his twin home, as no one could reach her like he could. While the teen was beginning to develop his hardass persona, and as such would insist to anyone who asked that he just didn't want her embarrassing the family, the truth was that he couldn't imagine his life without her-- or imagine going with her, given... outsiiiiide. ;-; Please come home Dasha.
At some point during their teen years, however, something far more pressing than family drama would arise: the country's king was deposed in a violent coup, only for the rebel forces to disperse into a disorganized mess as quickly as they'd arisen. This left the country in a state of chaos, as the ranking nobility tried to maintain power and order with no central force and small rebel sects occasionally fought back, and other forces still tries to take advantage of all the confusion for their own ends.
Dad became suddenly extremely paranoid, and Nikolai all the more afraid of what could be lurking in the horrible wilderness. Meanwhile, mom remained just as adamant that nothing was going to happen to her family, and Dasha finally left outright, claiming she if the world was going to shit and home wasn't safe anymore anyway, then she was going to pursue her own dreams from now on and no one was going to stop her. .... Wh-..when put that way, Nik had a hard time really discouraging her, especially as the twins would be turning eighteen soon, b-b-but...
It wasn't like he was completely alone... right? Alex had been away training to become a knight, and Jakob went off to boarding school and then university, but they at least... did still visit sometimes? Nik and Dasha were never as close to them as to each other, but they were definitely very good friends, and Nik still... sometimes had them. And... hell, when no one else was around, even Ilya could occasionally become briefly borderline tolerable, sometimes. ... But... He missed Dasha, and even though he wasn't 'alone', he still often felt alone... Felt... abandoned.
Fortunately, his mother chose that time to start buckling down on training him as her successor (seeing as she had apparently just lost her other candidate)-- and Nik actually took quite a shine to it. He didn't really like paperwork and dry legal stuff, but he he did well enough at it, and he did like diplomacy and the general concept of having control over other people's li-- I mean.... .... Okay, no, that was exactly what I mean. He was blatantly on a power trip about it.
That didn't fill all his time, and it wasn't as though Dasha was the only one who had taken to acting out during this time. Nik's just came more in the form of being a general asshole to people when he could get away with it, and dating/screwing people he had no business associating with. (As a good metric, his first somewhat-serious relationship started when he was 14, dating a guy who was 17; in retrospect, Nik isn't sure if he's grateful or still pissy about the guy breaking up with him not long after turning 18, though either way it certainly didn't help with his impression that everyone leaves eventually... At any rate, quite that level of Inappropriate was hard to top, but damn if he didn't try his best.) However, his mother always just said "as long as you're happy," so it wasn't... really the most effective means of 'acting out'... He got progressively worse, but she stuck by that line. It was both infuriating and... deeply validating, to be honest, but still...
Of course... he wasn't particularly "happy" with anyone he tried to date. In the moment, maybe, but he could never fully... 'see himself' with anyone, really. ...Or at least, none of them. Around the time he'd started getting interested in such things at all, he'd begun to realize he might... have feelings for... both of the older twins to a point, honestly, but especially Alex, and those only got worse over the years.
She just...?? Nik had trouble connecting to people outside his family, but she was practically family, yet not, and she'd grown into a really amazing person, and... she had apparently grown increasingly annoyed by him in the years since she'd left home, talking to him less and less each time she came home to visit. ...But she still did visit, so he still.. kept hoping maybe...? ... Eventually, they wound up getting drunk and having sex exactly once, and Nik managed to give her a terrible impression the morning after that probably ruined his chances forever, so. ... :'3 Hahaha what did he care, it wasn't like he really wanted serious romance, anyway, right??? No skin off his back. It was totally good he could just keep doing his own thing, haha... ha...
But honestly, by this point, he was pretty sure he just?? couldn't emotionally connect to new people in general, so when his mom saw him withdrawing from his attempts at dating and becoming more isolated, and suggested she find a partner for him instead, he didn't particularly protest. Like? His parents had an arranged marriage and... okay dad was often out in the wilderness doing... Lumberjack Things or something probably, and mom struggled with depression almost as much as he did, but they were still relatively Happy together? At least happy with each other? So like... Sure. Why not. He could think of worse things than a purely political arrangement if they didn't get along.
...Things like, say, the hurricane that blew through his life shortly after. Things started innocuously enough. "Stormrunner" was a pretty dumb name, and she was kind of young for him to be honest? But she was really cute and seemed eager to actually... put forth an effort, which at this point wasn't something Nik was used to people doing for him. And their parents agreed they wouldn't get married until she was 18, which gave them a few years to get to know each other and some chance to back out if they just really couldn't stand each other, right? So maybe that wouldn't be so bad...
Sure, he might have been a bit of an ass, but no more than he'd be to Alex or Dasha really? And sure, she could be a little bossy, and he liked to tease her a bit and work her nerves, but... She did seem kind of cool sometimes, too? They shared a love of art, and found collaborating on pieces together could be fun. She was encouraging him to get out of the house more again, so there was that. And they could have nice conversations at least sometimes. Surely they could get used to each other and--
Holy shit never mind this girl was insane... He'd been happy she seemed to want to sincerely try to make this arrangement work, but within a few months he was desperately wishing she wouldn't try quite so hard. He always wished people would believe in him a little more, but Storm made him regret that wish, as her expectations were always far beyond anything that seemed even close to the realm of possibility for him, and she did not take failure well.
If she felt he was out of line or 'just being lazy' or 'making excuses' or whatever, she had no problem (very literally) beating some sense into him, either. Incidentally, she happened to be a trained martial artist, and left him with worse than a few bruises on more than one occasion... only to then be very sweet and eager to help him recover (so he could get back to work, of course). Nik was far from innocent in all this, and looked for any opportunity he could to manipulate or distract her, most notoriously via taking advantage of how easily flustered she could be when it came to sexual situations and her feelings of obligation toward him as her fiancé. While he never outright forced her to do anything, heavy persuasion way outside her comfort zone was common, and trying to steer an encounter that direction became his most reliable way of flipping the power dynamic if she was getting too overbearing or becoming less pleasantly physical.
Then, when Nik was almost 19, his cousin, the current reigning Duke of the northern quarter of the region, fell gravely ill, and seemed to fall off the face of the earth for some time before finally seeking help, clearly in no state to continue ruling.
Nikolai was all over that shit.
He had the training; he had enough even if not the best rank (being a future Baron rather than Count); and he even had claims to the bloodline. Yup. He would be more than happy to uh... "Take that tremendous burden" off the shoulders of his "poor" cousin while he recovered. His doting mother was nothing if not proud of her son's initiative, and pulled whatever strings were needed to make sure it happened; fortunately, placing him only as 'Acting' Duke temporarily-if-indefinitely (dependent on his cousin's recovery) seemed to go over well enough due to blood, and there wasn't too terribly much opposition.
For some time, Nikolai gladly reigned over the people, proving something of a distant ruler. In ways, he quickly gained some fans for leniency and openness to suggestion, among other things; but he also proved to be somewhat inattentive when problems were not brought directly before him with solutions already proposed. Which isn't to say he never managed to improve or handle anything on his own; he just wasn't particularly proactive... at least, except when pushed by Storm. Left to his own devices, things would get done-- and done well--... eventually. Whenever she was around, however, there tended to be more quick but inefficient fixes, then going back to try to fix the problems caused or unaddressed by the original fix, because she wanted him to be Doing Something at all times, and why was this so hard, she knew he was better than this, why couldn't he just do things right the first time without taking a million years.
However, in late November of that year, something would happen to change his carefree nature drastically. A centuries-old landmark in the country's central capital was bombed, the tower itself reduced to rubble with a blast affecting nearly two city blocks in each direction. No one would claim responsibility for the attack, but the majority of nobles believed it was the rebel forces.
The bombing terrified him, ultimately sealing his fears of the outside world and adding upon it a mild fear of being anywhere outside of a noble home at night or staying for extended periods of time anywhere that would be considered middle-class or lower. He was enraged by all the losses, but firmly blamed the rebels and refused to make it clear how shaken he'd been for fear of appearing weak. He started trying to take his duties more seriously, sending a message that the nobility would not be intimidated.
Over the following year, the nobility was very, very intimidated. And targeted. Apparently, the leader of the rebel forces had mysteriously disappeared after the initial coup, but had now returned and managed to whip her followers into shape.
It was too dangerous. As much as they all hated to admit it, it was too dangerous to stay. This place was a lost cause. Maybe someone else would silence the rebels in time; maybe they'd implement a nice government of their own when they took full power. But neither Nikolai nor his family were willing to die to fight them. (He'd already lost two Pokemon fending off attacks, and at this point, his Mienshao had become the only longterm constant and greatest source of comfort in his life. Successful assassination attempt or not, he wasn't sure he'd survive if he lost her, too.) Nor would they surrender and be held to rebel whims, so they took the only other apparent option and fled.
The "where" wasn't too important. Somewhere peaceful, with a thriving economy. Somewhere they could make a new life. Nikolai's dad apparently had some ancestor a few generations back from a place called "Veria", and while they doubted they'd find any family or really connect after so long if they technically did, it was a viable direction and they didn't really have time to debate a lot of options, so off they went. ... All four of them. They did their best to send word to Dasha and hoped she'd follow someday, but... she hadn't been on speaking terms with any of them for some time now. All Nik could do was hope she was all right-- or that the reason she never wrote back anymore was that she'd long since left the country herself.
Once in Veria, though, things became both better and worse. On one hand, it was a huge hit to the lifestyle they'd been used to, even with his mother managing to find some minor government work and integrate into the closest they could find to a 'social elite' here. On the other, hot damn he literally forgot how nice it was to not fear assassination on a daily basis. (Or, more likely, took that particular bit for granted before, but ssh.)
And even more on the upside: he'd managed to convince his mom to let him leave without telling Storm. Not much point to an arranged marriage when one was no longer noble, right? So he'd left word that he was alive but leaving, and prayed she'd never be able to find him. So moving to Veria brought him more than one kind of freedom and peace of mind. Granted, "the ability to stay alive" and "getting away from my abusive ex" were the only notable upsides he could find at first... but hot damn if they weren't good ones. .... even if.... he was... now kind of alone again oh goddamit...
Though Nik had lived "on his own" before-- or rather, as the head of a household with staff and servants, just without his family in the same residence-- the idea of being actually on his own in a strange land was... not appealing. (Who would go shopping for him??) So he lived with his parents for some time, but the new smaller accommodations ultimately proved... impractical, having downsized from "literal nobility" to "just upper class" and all.
During that time, he'd tag along with his mom to social events sometimes, figuring he may as well attempt to build some connections here, even if it could be obnoxious trying to do so. He didn't expect to actually make a friend, though?? The cheery pink girl was so naive and sheltered that it physically pained him, but... he had to admit, her pure optimism might have been needed to counteract the depths of his cynical pessimism at this point. He rarely believed any of her ideals were plausible or practical in the real world, but... it was kind of nice to be reminded not everyone in the world was entirely terrible. And the thought that maybe there were at least a few more people out there like her-- that maybe the world in general wasn't quite as unanimously awful as he'd always assume-- helped give him his final push to move out on his own.
Of course, he still never would have done so had Sinclair not been an option, but... Indoor city. INDOOR CITY. He still can't walk the streets alone in the dead of night or anything, and part of him still recognizes 'in transit' as 'outside', but it's not outdoors-outside, so it's still better. On his best of days, he's even been getting up the courage to venture briefly into the cities they stop in, if only in the very urban parts of them.
After being on his own for a few months, though, he realized... he really needed a job. Income, it seemed, was important for eating, and surviving, and the like. Of course, Nikolai didn't know how to do jack shit except lead, and getting involved in politics took way longer when you weren't born into it, and unlike his mother, he had no interest in starting on the fringes and slowly climbing the ladder. But what options did that leave him w--
HMM?? There are... Gym Leader positions open here? And... one of them was a type he favors? Yes hi he'd like to apply please.
He may not... actually be just exceptionally skilled as a trainer, but the folks in charge didn't need to know that. He'd been in literal life-or-death battles, after all, and knowing that sort of desperation had to have toughened him some, right? Besides, Gym Leaders were meant to test trainers, not necessarily defeat them, right? If he could at least make them feel challenged-- which he suspected he could do with strategy more than strength-- then he should be able to fake it til he made it, right? He sure hoped so; a job where people came to him instead of him having to get out every day sounded like a dream come true. And the combination of getting paid to have (safe) Pokemon battles and still being viewed by people as An Important Position? Yeah. Sign him up, please.
He ended up setting up a Gym in Sinclair, and moving from the small apartment he'd been in to an even smaller loft above it... and loved it?? Had he told his younger self that moving from a literal palace to a cramped apartment would be one of his favorite things he'd ever done, younger him would have thought older him was on drugs. ... On.. drugs that weren't prescriptions, anyway. But yeah, no, living above the Gym was amazing. If he forgets something across the house it wasn't a chore to go get it anymore, everything was right where he needed it and easily accessible. Living in Sinclair was amazing. He got to see so much while leaving home so rarely and even more rarely venturing too far from it. Even slowly making a few new friends had been... amazing?? He was about 99.9% sure they were all going to realize what a pathetic loser he was and ditch him eventually, but... there were at least a few people he could honestly say he enjoyed being around, at least for a little bit at a time.
He was still pretty bitter about having to leave so much behind, and still struggled a lot with feeling alone even when he has friends around, and still missed Dasha every day, and still worried how Alex was doing back home,and occasionally he may have even kind of very lowkey found himself missing Storm but fuck his life he refused to accept that was a thing. He also... had several terrifying encounters with wild Pokemon that left him all the more certain the outdoors was a death trap. But all in all, Veria was still... mostly treating him well, so he could just... hope things got better instead of worse...
...Oh look, a Gala. That should be good for a laugh.
As such, he and his twin sister Dasha were terribly spoiled-- or rather, oscillated between being spoiled and neglected. Even at a young age, Nik understood that his mother was a busy and important woman, and her job could cause her a lot of stress and make her very sad. He would not understand until many years later, though, that part of her struggle and source of her depression was having had several miscarriages.
When she was finally able to carry another child to term, it was a brutally complicated pregnancy, and the baby was born premature and very ill. Of course, being 5 at the time, Nikolai's thoughts upon overhearing his parents concerned about "losing" his new sister were mostly along the lines of "why don't they hire better doctors if these can't even remember where they put a baby??"
Eventually, though, both Ilya and their mother recovered, and Nikolai and Dasha both loved their adorable new baby sister. ......Right up until it became very apparent that Ilya was by far The Favorite. Their father did his best to reassure them that it just seemed that way because she was a baby, and babies required so much extra attention, but as the children grew, it became increasingly clear that no. Ilya was just blatantly favored. The world revolved around her, and she could do no wrong.
Naturally, the twins did the only logical thing they could think of and took it out on Ilya. The fact that her little world was so perfect she barely cared-- getting upset in the moment but forgetting every offense immediately after-- did not help discourage them from any angle.
Ilya even got a Pokemon first! ...Never mind that she had been the first to ask for one; their parents should have known that if Nikolai had ever thought about it or known Ilya wanted one then of course he would have wanted one too, and he could only assume Dasha would too!
As such, he got his Mienfoo just a few days after Ilya got her Oshawott because "the rascally devil must have slipped out of Santa's bag just before he brought in your presents! She was supposed to be here, though!" Nik was nearly thirteen by this point and not buying it for one fucking second, but at least he had a Pokemon now, and surely it was much stronger and all-around better than Ilya's, too! (All the same, he never challenged her to a battle just in case, though he'd never admit fear as the reason; he just didn't want to let her think he wanted to play with her, that was all.)
In general, Nikolai was usually pretty content just to ignore the brat. They had each other, and one of their family's servants had twins around their age-- Alex and Jakob-- who they often played with. He could pretty easily just stick to his own nice little world and leave her to hers.
But the same couldn't be said for Dasha. Nik always assumed it had something to do with the fact that while he was at least still the only boy, and therefore got some selective attention, most anything that included Dasha was either "the twins" or "the girls", and while the prior had literally always been a thing, the latter was pretty terrible to have to deal with. Eventually Dasha became pretty outright cruel toward the younger girl, but in the end this only made Ilya a worse brat. It was a mistake they would regret forever.
As things got progressively worse, Dasha became outright rebellious and began running away from home. Each time, it took Nikolai's desperate begging to bring his twin home, as no one could reach her like he could. While the teen was beginning to develop his hardass persona, and as such would insist to anyone who asked that he just didn't want her embarrassing the family, the truth was that he couldn't imagine his life without her-- or imagine going with her, given... outsiiiiide. ;-; Please come home Dasha.
At some point during their teen years, however, something far more pressing than family drama would arise: the country's king was deposed in a violent coup, only for the rebel forces to disperse into a disorganized mess as quickly as they'd arisen. This left the country in a state of chaos, as the ranking nobility tried to maintain power and order with no central force and small rebel sects occasionally fought back, and other forces still tries to take advantage of all the confusion for their own ends.
Dad became suddenly extremely paranoid, and Nikolai all the more afraid of what could be lurking in the horrible wilderness. Meanwhile, mom remained just as adamant that nothing was going to happen to her family, and Dasha finally left outright, claiming she if the world was going to shit and home wasn't safe anymore anyway, then she was going to pursue her own dreams from now on and no one was going to stop her. .... Wh-..when put that way, Nik had a hard time really discouraging her, especially as the twins would be turning eighteen soon, b-b-but...
It wasn't like he was completely alone... right? Alex had been away training to become a knight, and Jakob went off to boarding school and then university, but they at least... did still visit sometimes? Nik and Dasha were never as close to them as to each other, but they were definitely very good friends, and Nik still... sometimes had them. And... hell, when no one else was around, even Ilya could occasionally become briefly borderline tolerable, sometimes. ... But... He missed Dasha, and even though he wasn't 'alone', he still often felt alone... Felt... abandoned.
Fortunately, his mother chose that time to start buckling down on training him as her successor (seeing as she had apparently just lost her other candidate)-- and Nik actually took quite a shine to it. He didn't really like paperwork and dry legal stuff, but he he did well enough at it, and he did like diplomacy and the general concept of having control over other people's li-- I mean.... .... Okay, no, that was exactly what I mean. He was blatantly on a power trip about it.
That didn't fill all his time, and it wasn't as though Dasha was the only one who had taken to acting out during this time. Nik's just came more in the form of being a general asshole to people when he could get away with it, and dating/screwing people he had no business associating with. (As a good metric, his first somewhat-serious relationship started when he was 14, dating a guy who was 17; in retrospect, Nik isn't sure if he's grateful or still pissy about the guy breaking up with him not long after turning 18, though either way it certainly didn't help with his impression that everyone leaves eventually... At any rate, quite that level of Inappropriate was hard to top, but damn if he didn't try his best.) However, his mother always just said "as long as you're happy," so it wasn't... really the most effective means of 'acting out'... He got progressively worse, but she stuck by that line. It was both infuriating and... deeply validating, to be honest, but still...
Of course... he wasn't particularly "happy" with anyone he tried to date. In the moment, maybe, but he could never fully... 'see himself' with anyone, really. ...Or at least, none of them. Around the time he'd started getting interested in such things at all, he'd begun to realize he might... have feelings for... both of the older twins to a point, honestly, but especially Alex, and those only got worse over the years.
She just...?? Nik had trouble connecting to people outside his family, but she was practically family, yet not, and she'd grown into a really amazing person, and... she had apparently grown increasingly annoyed by him in the years since she'd left home, talking to him less and less each time she came home to visit. ...But she still did visit, so he still.. kept hoping maybe...? ... Eventually, they wound up getting drunk and having sex exactly once, and Nik managed to give her a terrible impression the morning after that probably ruined his chances forever, so. ... :'3 Hahaha what did he care, it wasn't like he really wanted serious romance, anyway, right??? No skin off his back. It was totally good he could just keep doing his own thing, haha... ha...
But honestly, by this point, he was pretty sure he just?? couldn't emotionally connect to new people in general, so when his mom saw him withdrawing from his attempts at dating and becoming more isolated, and suggested she find a partner for him instead, he didn't particularly protest. Like? His parents had an arranged marriage and... okay dad was often out in the wilderness doing... Lumberjack Things or something probably, and mom struggled with depression almost as much as he did, but they were still relatively Happy together? At least happy with each other? So like... Sure. Why not. He could think of worse things than a purely political arrangement if they didn't get along.
...Things like, say, the hurricane that blew through his life shortly after. Things started innocuously enough. "Stormrunner" was a pretty dumb name, and she was kind of young for him to be honest? But she was really cute and seemed eager to actually... put forth an effort, which at this point wasn't something Nik was used to people doing for him. And their parents agreed they wouldn't get married until she was 18, which gave them a few years to get to know each other and some chance to back out if they just really couldn't stand each other, right? So maybe that wouldn't be so bad...
Sure, he might have been a bit of an ass, but no more than he'd be to Alex or Dasha really? And sure, she could be a little bossy, and he liked to tease her a bit and work her nerves, but... She did seem kind of cool sometimes, too? They shared a love of art, and found collaborating on pieces together could be fun. She was encouraging him to get out of the house more again, so there was that. And they could have nice conversations at least sometimes. Surely they could get used to each other and--
Holy shit never mind this girl was insane... He'd been happy she seemed to want to sincerely try to make this arrangement work, but within a few months he was desperately wishing she wouldn't try quite so hard. He always wished people would believe in him a little more, but Storm made him regret that wish, as her expectations were always far beyond anything that seemed even close to the realm of possibility for him, and she did not take failure well.
If she felt he was out of line or 'just being lazy' or 'making excuses' or whatever, she had no problem (very literally) beating some sense into him, either. Incidentally, she happened to be a trained martial artist, and left him with worse than a few bruises on more than one occasion... only to then be very sweet and eager to help him recover (so he could get back to work, of course). Nik was far from innocent in all this, and looked for any opportunity he could to manipulate or distract her, most notoriously via taking advantage of how easily flustered she could be when it came to sexual situations and her feelings of obligation toward him as her fiancé. While he never outright forced her to do anything, heavy persuasion way outside her comfort zone was common, and trying to steer an encounter that direction became his most reliable way of flipping the power dynamic if she was getting too overbearing or becoming less pleasantly physical.
Then, when Nik was almost 19, his cousin, the current reigning Duke of the northern quarter of the region, fell gravely ill, and seemed to fall off the face of the earth for some time before finally seeking help, clearly in no state to continue ruling.
Nikolai was all over that shit.
He had the training; he had enough even if not the best rank (being a future Baron rather than Count); and he even had claims to the bloodline. Yup. He would be more than happy to uh... "Take that tremendous burden" off the shoulders of his "poor" cousin while he recovered. His doting mother was nothing if not proud of her son's initiative, and pulled whatever strings were needed to make sure it happened; fortunately, placing him only as 'Acting' Duke temporarily-if-indefinitely (dependent on his cousin's recovery) seemed to go over well enough due to blood, and there wasn't too terribly much opposition.
For some time, Nikolai gladly reigned over the people, proving something of a distant ruler. In ways, he quickly gained some fans for leniency and openness to suggestion, among other things; but he also proved to be somewhat inattentive when problems were not brought directly before him with solutions already proposed. Which isn't to say he never managed to improve or handle anything on his own; he just wasn't particularly proactive... at least, except when pushed by Storm. Left to his own devices, things would get done-- and done well--... eventually. Whenever she was around, however, there tended to be more quick but inefficient fixes, then going back to try to fix the problems caused or unaddressed by the original fix, because she wanted him to be Doing Something at all times, and why was this so hard, she knew he was better than this, why couldn't he just do things right the first time without taking a million years.
However, in late November of that year, something would happen to change his carefree nature drastically. A centuries-old landmark in the country's central capital was bombed, the tower itself reduced to rubble with a blast affecting nearly two city blocks in each direction. No one would claim responsibility for the attack, but the majority of nobles believed it was the rebel forces.
The bombing terrified him, ultimately sealing his fears of the outside world and adding upon it a mild fear of being anywhere outside of a noble home at night or staying for extended periods of time anywhere that would be considered middle-class or lower. He was enraged by all the losses, but firmly blamed the rebels and refused to make it clear how shaken he'd been for fear of appearing weak. He started trying to take his duties more seriously, sending a message that the nobility would not be intimidated.
Over the following year, the nobility was very, very intimidated. And targeted. Apparently, the leader of the rebel forces had mysteriously disappeared after the initial coup, but had now returned and managed to whip her followers into shape.
It was too dangerous. As much as they all hated to admit it, it was too dangerous to stay. This place was a lost cause. Maybe someone else would silence the rebels in time; maybe they'd implement a nice government of their own when they took full power. But neither Nikolai nor his family were willing to die to fight them. (He'd already lost two Pokemon fending off attacks, and at this point, his Mienshao had become the only longterm constant and greatest source of comfort in his life. Successful assassination attempt or not, he wasn't sure he'd survive if he lost her, too.) Nor would they surrender and be held to rebel whims, so they took the only other apparent option and fled.
The "where" wasn't too important. Somewhere peaceful, with a thriving economy. Somewhere they could make a new life. Nikolai's dad apparently had some ancestor a few generations back from a place called "Veria", and while they doubted they'd find any family or really connect after so long if they technically did, it was a viable direction and they didn't really have time to debate a lot of options, so off they went. ... All four of them. They did their best to send word to Dasha and hoped she'd follow someday, but... she hadn't been on speaking terms with any of them for some time now. All Nik could do was hope she was all right-- or that the reason she never wrote back anymore was that she'd long since left the country herself.
Once in Veria, though, things became both better and worse. On one hand, it was a huge hit to the lifestyle they'd been used to, even with his mother managing to find some minor government work and integrate into the closest they could find to a 'social elite' here. On the other, hot damn he literally forgot how nice it was to not fear assassination on a daily basis. (Or, more likely, took that particular bit for granted before, but ssh.)
And even more on the upside: he'd managed to convince his mom to let him leave without telling Storm. Not much point to an arranged marriage when one was no longer noble, right? So he'd left word that he was alive but leaving, and prayed she'd never be able to find him. So moving to Veria brought him more than one kind of freedom and peace of mind. Granted, "the ability to stay alive" and "getting away from my abusive ex" were the only notable upsides he could find at first... but hot damn if they weren't good ones. .... even if.... he was... now kind of alone again oh goddamit...
Though Nik had lived "on his own" before-- or rather, as the head of a household with staff and servants, just without his family in the same residence-- the idea of being actually on his own in a strange land was... not appealing. (Who would go shopping for him??) So he lived with his parents for some time, but the new smaller accommodations ultimately proved... impractical, having downsized from "literal nobility" to "just upper class" and all.
During that time, he'd tag along with his mom to social events sometimes, figuring he may as well attempt to build some connections here, even if it could be obnoxious trying to do so. He didn't expect to actually make a friend, though?? The cheery pink girl was so naive and sheltered that it physically pained him, but... he had to admit, her pure optimism might have been needed to counteract the depths of his cynical pessimism at this point. He rarely believed any of her ideals were plausible or practical in the real world, but... it was kind of nice to be reminded not everyone in the world was entirely terrible. And the thought that maybe there were at least a few more people out there like her-- that maybe the world in general wasn't quite as unanimously awful as he'd always assume-- helped give him his final push to move out on his own.
Of course, he still never would have done so had Sinclair not been an option, but... Indoor city. INDOOR CITY. He still can't walk the streets alone in the dead of night or anything, and part of him still recognizes 'in transit' as 'outside', but it's not outdoors-outside, so it's still better. On his best of days, he's even been getting up the courage to venture briefly into the cities they stop in, if only in the very urban parts of them.
After being on his own for a few months, though, he realized... he really needed a job. Income, it seemed, was important for eating, and surviving, and the like. Of course, Nikolai didn't know how to do jack shit except lead, and getting involved in politics took way longer when you weren't born into it, and unlike his mother, he had no interest in starting on the fringes and slowly climbing the ladder. But what options did that leave him w--
HMM?? There are... Gym Leader positions open here? And... one of them was a type he favors? Yes hi he'd like to apply please.
He may not... actually be just exceptionally skilled as a trainer, but the folks in charge didn't need to know that. He'd been in literal life-or-death battles, after all, and knowing that sort of desperation had to have toughened him some, right? Besides, Gym Leaders were meant to test trainers, not necessarily defeat them, right? If he could at least make them feel challenged-- which he suspected he could do with strategy more than strength-- then he should be able to fake it til he made it, right? He sure hoped so; a job where people came to him instead of him having to get out every day sounded like a dream come true. And the combination of getting paid to have (safe) Pokemon battles and still being viewed by people as An Important Position? Yeah. Sign him up, please.
He ended up setting up a Gym in Sinclair, and moving from the small apartment he'd been in to an even smaller loft above it... and loved it?? Had he told his younger self that moving from a literal palace to a cramped apartment would be one of his favorite things he'd ever done, younger him would have thought older him was on drugs. ... On.. drugs that weren't prescriptions, anyway. But yeah, no, living above the Gym was amazing. If he forgets something across the house it wasn't a chore to go get it anymore, everything was right where he needed it and easily accessible. Living in Sinclair was amazing. He got to see so much while leaving home so rarely and even more rarely venturing too far from it. Even slowly making a few new friends had been... amazing?? He was about 99.9% sure they were all going to realize what a pathetic loser he was and ditch him eventually, but... there were at least a few people he could honestly say he enjoyed being around, at least for a little bit at a time.
He was still pretty bitter about having to leave so much behind, and still struggled a lot with feeling alone even when he has friends around, and still missed Dasha every day, and still worried how Alex was doing back home,
...Oh look, a Gala. That should be good for a laugh.
Pokémon
Pokedex Name: Mienshao
Nickname: Jasna
Gender: Female
Ability: Regenerator
Moveset: Drain Punch, Aura Sphere, Swift, U-Turn, Ally Switch (EM), Power-Up Punch (Move Tech)
Above is Imported; she is the only Import. Below are Gym Leader bonus to be unlocked after the trial period. (As a note for other staff reviewing, Yumi said the class bonus should be fine with only one Pokemon being imported.)
Pokedex Name: Vulpix (Alolan)
Nickname: Kaira
Gender: Male
Ability: Snow Cloak
Moveset: Ice Shard, Confuse Ray, Hex, Ice Beam, Moonblast (EM), Double Team (Move Tech)
Pokedex Name: Cottonee
Nickname: Pillow
Gender: Male
Ability: Prankster
Moveset: Poison Powder, Helping Hand, Sunny Day, Solar Beam, Fake Tears (EM), Dazzling Gleam (Move Tech)
Pokedex Name: Slurpuff
Nickname: Sundae
Gender: Female
Ability: Sweet Veil
Moveset: Draining Kiss, Play Rough, Wish, Endeavor, Belly Drum (EM), Drain Punch (Move Tech), Substitute (Move Tech)
Pokedex Name: Klefki
Nickname: Keychain
Gender: Male
Ability: Prankster
Moveset: Draining Kiss, Spikes, Foul Play, Mirror Shot, Iron Defense (EM), Dazzling Gleam (Move Tech)
Skills (4/11)
Endurance (Master, 3) - Nik has always been able to take a lot of punishment, enduring more than a few beatings over the years from various sources and dealing with off-and-on chronic pain from an injury that didn't heal quite right. Having truly been pushed to his limits, he's realized just how much he can truly endure when he has enough to fight for. He's still likely to whine about it and might still want some painkillers, but he can generally (reluctantly) keep going... as long as he Has To, at least. If the consequences for giving up are pretty low and/or exclusively affect himself.. there's a pretty good chance of him saying fuck it, he's too tired for this. If someone else is relying on him to push through, though, then he Has To and will keep getting up for as long as he's physically able- which is basically so long as his body is in-tact enough to function, regardless of pain, though once he collapses he might not get up for a week.
Strength (Minor, 1) - Nik is generally kind of a stocky guy and has carried his Mienshao around on a daily basis for as long as she's been a Mienshao (so.. 7 years or so?), in addition to occasionally carrying other Pokemon, etc. Between his sister, his "sibling", and his ex, he's been in more than a few fights, too. He's not doing any powerlifting or ripping any phone books in half any time soon, but if he punches you it's going to hurt, at any rate.
Other Information
N/A
RP Sample
See: Sera Carroll.
OOC Information
OOC name: SG
Face Claim: [b]BAKUMAN[/b], Fukuda Shinta as [i]Laska, Nikolai[/i]
Continuity: Import. Profiles were not guest-visible on the old site, but here is a thread where Nik had Jasna the Mienshao for proof of import.
Other Characters? Sera Carroll
Starter Items: 6 Move Techs (all expended), 6 PokeBalls
made by Wolf of GS
