Skip Navigation
Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
|
Post by Luke Indigo on Oct 25, 2017 16:01:23 GMT -8
W-w-what? J-Jazz! JAZZ NO. Luke couldn’t begin to cry out at him. Suddenly he felt like he was falling, and a darkness clouded his vision again. He blinked and collapsed onto the ground, knees and hands scraping. Breath returned to him, and he blinked the world back into reality. He felt weak, exhausted, but with everything he had, he forced himself into a crouch and then a stand. His singular yellow eye stared up at Jazz consumed by the creature, and a sharp whined breath drew into him.
“Jazz!” Oh God, oh no, Oh God, oh no, OH GOD, oh no??? “Nihilego stop!” he begged already vaguely aware the creature would not understand. He scrambled, trying to grip through the goo to Jazz. “Please stop…” Spidey, meanwhile, had been whining loudly and spiraled around to Luke looking up uncertainly. “Wait, Spidey don’t hurt it!” Luke begged. I don’t want either of them hurt…
|
|
Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
|
Post by Jazz Johnson on Oct 25, 2017 23:53:31 GMT -8
Jazz didn't know what to expect when he grabbed at Luke through the goo. His only thought was to get Luke to safety, consequences be damned. Before he knew it, those words had slipped out of his mouth, begging the Nihilego to release Luke. Jazz couldn't lose Luke, he would never forgive himself if that happened. That was when the Nihilego turned its attention to Jazz instead. The first thing Jazz felt was relief, Luke would be alright, he had saved him. Then darkness overtook him, he couldn't see anything, couldn't move. Everything felt different, he could see everything and nothing, see the connections. It was overwhelming and yet enough, the energy and equations the world consisted of were oddly soothing. Jazz could make sense of this, and it felt like they were seeing the world for the first time. Then a voice that yet wasn't their voice came to mind. What do you want? What are your deepest desires? Jazz didn't know where to begin, where to start. There were so many things that he wanted, so many things he wanted to change. He wanted to forget his past, to get rid of the physical and emotional scars that had been inflicted on him. He wanted Luke, he wanted to be loved, to belong. He wanted to be happy, to be whole again. One thing screamed at the forefront of Jazz's mind. I want Luke, I can't be alone again. I can't lose him. His mind was spinning, reeling from the gravity of the question. He couldn't pick just one thing to focus on, one thing that he wanted most of all. I want to save Luke, I want to protect him. I want to be useful, something to be proud of. I want to be whole again... I want... I want...to be wanted. That was the truth of it, wasn't it. Jazz wanted to be someone worthwhile, someone who could protect others, who wasn't the waste of space that he thought he was. He wanted to be worth something, to belong. Was that too much to ask? Vaguely, Jazz could hear Luke say something. Was he calling them? Telling them to stop? What do you want? Jazz couldn't say anything, couldn't tell Luke that they were doing this for them. Didn't he understand that? I want to protect you.
ulla
|
|
Staff
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
|
Post by Super Gmagical on Oct 29, 2017 2:19:55 GMT -8
I want Luke. Luke... The word was foreign to Nihilego, but it could feel the meaning in Jazz's mind, in his heart. The other creature, the... Yes, it saw now through Jazz's eyes, now innately understanding things it hadn't perceived before. The... human... red hair... male. Yes. Luke. I can't be alone again. I can't lose him.Isolation... was a terrible feeling. Much like Nihilego, far from home and kin. Those thoughts were rapidly fading, however, overridden by Jazz's own desires. We won't be alone again... Nihilego's voice was a faint echo in Jazz's mind, but its presence was growing.. as was its body. Their body. Jazz's was melding into Nihilego's, their nerves becoming attached. Tentacles shifted, reformed, grew darker and brighter, a rainbow black like oil, yes still that same glass-flesh quality once they resolidified. I want to protect you.We'll protect him together... Nihilego assured him, a little louder now. Jazz's hair had shifted to become more like tentacles, fitting their new form. The glass flesh pulled back from his face. Ahh, yes, much better. Now they could... Nihilego could envision the sight and feeling, but took longer to place the word. .... Kiss, yes. Now they could kiss Luke far easier. We'll be together...The tentacles grew to form massive arms that slowly stretched out and circled around either side of Luke, the 'hands' broad and round with finger-like appendages. They could hug him. Hold him. Protect him from harm. We won't be alone again.Jazz's eyes had changed, the sclera darkened and irises brightened to a point they almost appeared to glow, though no light emitted. They set firmly on Luke, and a smile spread across their face and Nihilego filled him with a sense of confident euphoria and reassurance.Tell him how we feel, it urged.
They'd protect Luke. Be with Luke. Forever.We never have to be alone again."LUKE..."
|
|
Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
|
Post by Luke Indigo on Oct 29, 2017 6:33:40 GMT -8
“Please stop… stop!” Luke’s voice had started to give out as he watched the meld continue, grow, reform. Icy chills drove through him, and a sharp, shaky breath resounded. All at once, Luke found himself backing up. The corner of his eye was wet, blurring his vision. Terror. It was a feeling he didn’t truly know. He knew fear. He knew concern. He knew every manner of stress, anxiety, and sadness… But this feeling, this feeling burning so hot and painful was terror.
The arms were coming at him, coming for him. Luke’s singular eye grew. Color left his features, but he didn’t move, couldn’t move. Jazz…. If he hadn’t just witnessed it, he’d been asking how or why. Instead, he was left voiceless in a cold sweat. Terror. Had his knees not locked, they would have given out again.
Spidey shriek-hissed louder. Flicking up a Protect around himself and Luke, the Swadloon didn’t know how long it would last but had to do something. <Don’t come any closer, Monster…> the Swadloon insisted.
One word broke this trance. Luke blinked back into reality on hearing it. Jazz’s voice said it, Jazz’s tone said it. Color immediately filled his features again, and the rush had him feeling dizzy. “J-Jazz …” he stumbled with words, the corner of his eye still wet. “Jazz…” Oh. “What the fuck, Jazz?” Why was he yelling? Why was he squeaking?
“What the fuck were you thinking?!” This was not about what thoughts had allowed Jazz to be possessed by the Nihilego but rather the ones that had him grabbed in the first place. “Why do you always do this?” He was coughing now, squeaking. Tears had started to stream again, but in the overarching mix of feelings, Luke had no idea why.
Spidey jostled. He did not understand what Luke’s outburst meant.
|
|
Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
|
Post by Jazz Johnson on Oct 29, 2017 18:06:40 GMT -8
Jazz could feel the Nihilego's presence grow and embraced the change, the assurance that he wouldn't be alone. Somehow he knew that was assured, that he would never have to feel that aching loneliness again. He could hear thoughts that weren't his own, and yet belonged to him. We'll protect him together. Yes, that was what Jazz wanted, to protect what was precious to him. This was the only way... The only way to make sure Luke was safe. It had to be. As the Nihilego's form shifted, changed, Jazz only felt an almost manic happiness, a confidence that wasn't there before. A shrill, almost hysterical sounding laugh escaped from him as they looked at Luke. He could almost hear him say something, something that made him waver briefly in his assurance that this was the right thing to do. We'll be together...Yes... yes, that's right. Luke was here with them, they would keep him safe. Away from harm. There was nothing to fear. There was nothing wrong, nothing whatsoever. We are right, we know what's best. The confidence that Jazz felt, the reassurance, it made them fearless. There was nothing that would go awry, not when they were feeling like this. Tell him how we feel. Yes, this too was right. Luke would know the truth. That they were going to be protected, loved by them, forever. Luke would stay with them. He would be safe that way. Arms reached out, wanting to hug Luke, to protect him but was stopped by a shield. A whine escaped from them as the arms pressed against it, willing it to bend. They just wanted a hug! "Luke..."Jazz's voice echoed, beckoning him. If he could move past the shield, Luke would be theirs. That was what they wanted. For Luke to be safe. He would be theirs and he would be safe. What the fuck, Jazz?The arms recoiled, flinching away from Luke as they were yelled at. This...this wasn't supposed to happen! They did this for Luke! Luke was supposed to be happy! What the fuck were you thinking?! No... this wasn't right. They were right. Luke was supposed to be happy. Jazz had saved Luke, they had done this to protect him! Then he saw the tears and the resolve that this was what they wanted started to break. This isn't right... Why do you always do this?More yelling, more tears. Jazz shifted uncomfortably, shrinking back more. I don't want this... "We had to protect you!"Jazz pleaded, urging Luke to reconsider. This was right, they were right. Luke could still be theirs, could still stay with them. "We did this for you, Luke. You're safe now... safe with us," Jazz continued, reaching out with a tentacle, trying to hug Luke again. That would make this better... wouldn't it? "We love you, Luke..."
ulla
|
|
Staff
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
|
Post by Super Gmagical on Oct 30, 2017 0:28:06 GMT -8
Jazz's feelings fluctuated through Nihilego, too. The things Luke was saying made them hurt. Nihilego did not like this feeling, but understood Jazz would not want to hurt or push Luke away to escape them. No.. What was needed was... Luke had to understand. To understand and accept their desires.
Yes, make him see. If he understands how we feel, all will be well.
It was so simple. It had to be. Luke is small and fragile. He doesn't understand how vulnerable he is. How could he? Surely no creature who understood their position would so willingly lash out against a new enhanced form like theirs. They were large and powerful. For Luke to provoke them, he must not understand.
We have to protect him whether he likes it or not.
|
|
Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
|
Post by Luke Indigo on Oct 30, 2017 6:50:27 GMT -8
Even as the arms flinched away, Luke stood tense and frozen. Color burned his features and tears burned at his eye. We had to protect you. “You did not!” he snapped back on a dime. We did this for you, you’re safe now. “You did not!”
As the tentacle came towards Luke, he flinched. Spidey hissed and threw up yet another Protect to keep the creature at bay. How long it would last and how strong it would remain was only a question of time, but he had to try.
Luke, meanwhile, didn’t even seem to register it. His eye remained on Jazz. “You did this for you! Because you think your life is worth less than mine! How dare you!” The words were coming out in squeaks and chokes, fluctuating at every second. “Stop putting the person I love in danger.” His voice had a snarl to it now. “I’m sick and tired of it!” From the gang activity all the way up to this. All of it.
|
|
Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
|
Post by Jazz Johnson on Oct 30, 2017 10:39:38 GMT -8
Still reeling from Luke's words, the Nihilego's thought washed over Jazz like a calming wave. Yes, make him see. If he understands how we feel, all will be well. Everything was fine, they were fine, they were right. There was nothing wrong, Luke would know how they felt and it would be fine. A wide grin appeared on Jazz's features as they approached, willing the shield to disappear. Yes... they would take Luke. Take him and shield him away from everything. No harm would come to him then. Then Luke started yelling again, saying that they were wrong. Again, Jazz shrunk back, recoiling from the backlash. Why? Why didn't Luke understand? They would make him understand, they had to. Everything would be fine once Luke was safe from harm. You did this for you! Because you think your life is worth less than mine! How dare you!The words might as well have been knives thrown at them. It was true. Luke was right. What was their life over his safety? Luke had to be kept safe, safe from harm. Why didn't he understand that? They had to stop him, had to make him see reason. They were right... weren't they? Stop putting the person I love in danger.... ... Luke... loved them? No. Luke loves me. Jazz's eyes brimmed with tears. Or was it just a thought? Those words... Why wait until now? Why choose them? It was everything Jazz hoped to hear but... not like this, not this way. I don't want this. We have to protect him whether he likes it or not.NO! How could he? How could he imprison Luke? He loved Luke. This... this wasn't the way. I don't want this. This wasn't the way, it couldn't be. And yet... the compulsion to steal Luke away was still there, why was it still there? GET OUT OF MY HEAD. It wasn't all right. This wasn't right. "I couldn't lose you too..."Jazz said, the voice sounding weaker, almost dejected. They had lost too much, been through too much to see it happen again. I can't lose anything else.
ulla
|
|
Staff
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
|
Post by Super Gmagical on Oct 30, 2017 11:40:40 GMT -8
Everything was fine, all was well... until Luke once again started saying words that made Jazz feel pain, made Nihilego feel pain. It had no context for most of it save for Jazz's responses. Then Jazz fought. Jazz pushed back. Wanted to cast them aside. Wanted it to be alone and blind again.
Nihilego didn't want that at all, yet what it wanted was so strongly overpowered by Jazz's sense of desire.
In an effort both to quell the turmoil and to understand, Nihilego's thoughts became more questions to Jazz than words of encouragement or reassurance. Why is he acting this way? If he really is so important, if he can make you feel this way, why does he question that your life is worth less? Does he not know how special he is?
It didn't understand any of this. It didn't know if it wanted to. If it could even process it without being linked to Jazz. It was terrifying, and as much friction as was happening right now, Jazz's desire not to lose anything else.. did coincide well with Nihilego's own. If you don't want to be alone, why do you want me gone? We could always have each other. If Luke... 'loves' you, could he not love us? Could he not love you like this?
|
|
Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
|
Post by Luke Indigo on Oct 30, 2017 12:23:08 GMT -8
Luke’s teeth grit. “So it’s acceptable just to throw yourself into it instead? To take it all on your shoulders? To suffer exclusively?” he snapped back. “That’s so selfish. You and Orion. You don’t think about anyone else! How do you think I feel when you get hurt or… or….. hell—!”
This was… this was not going the way he wanted. These were not the points he wanted to make, was trying to make. He needed to calm down and figure out a way to separate them, find a way to calm down Nihilego too. And yet there he was trembling with feelings never worked through, never expressed.
“Nihilego, Give me back my friend,” he suddenly shouted. “Give them back! Give me back Jazz right now.” Was he seriously thinking that such demands would be met? It was hard to say with how his mind spun and what was escaping from his lips.
|
|
Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
|
Post by Jazz Johnson on Oct 30, 2017 12:41:53 GMT -8
Why did this happen? Jazz didn't want this, didn't want to see Luke like this. But... he had done this for Luke, wasn't it supposed to be alright? That had been a lie. Nothing was alright, he'd been a fool to believe that, to hope things could change. Why is he acting this way? If he really is so important, if he can make you feel this way, why does he question that your life is worth less? Does he not know how special he is?Shut up. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. You have NO RIGHT to call Luke that. Luke was special. Luke was so very, very special. Jazz wouldn't be here without him and yet... and yet... had he really been selfish? My life is worth less than his. That had always been Jazz's truth, something that had driven him, helped inform the decisions he'd made. Luke... he saw past that, saw past all the shit he'd done. Luke is able to see Jazz for who he really was. Even back then. How could he betray something like that? If you don't want to be alone, why do you want me gone? We could always have each other. If Luke... 'loves' you, could he not love us? Could he not love you like this?Shut up. SHUT UP. SHUT UP!! Why did Jazz want the Nihilego gone? Luke wanted it. Luke wanted them. Could Luke love them like this? Probably. Jazz didn't want that though. He wanted Luke, wanted to be able to hold him without that damn shield getting in the way. Was that too much to ask? So it’s acceptable just to throw yourself into it instead? To take it all on your shoulders? To suffer exclusively? That’s so selfish. You and Orion. You don’t think about anyone else! How do you think I feel when you get hurt or… or….. hell—!More words, more daggers. Luke was right, he'd always been right. Jazz hadn't taken into account how Luke would feel. I don't want to hurt him. Wasn't that what he was doing? Hurting Luke? I can't do this. Jazz's mind screamed against the Nihilego, against the false hope, false reassurance it had given. The past couldn't be changed. The Nihilego couldn't make him whole again. Yet, Jazz had wanted so badly to believe... to be able to protect Luke... He'd thought that was what he'd wanted but now. I don't want this. Luke's words to the Nihilego were all Jazz needed to help break free. Luke wanted him back. Luke wanted him, not the Nihilego, not this form. LET ME GO! The Nihilego had to listen, it just had to. If it didn't... Jazz would fight, he would tell Titan to take him down. That... that would work, wouldn't it?
ulla
|
|
Staff
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
|
Post by Super Gmagical on Oct 30, 2017 12:55:29 GMT -8
The harder Jazz fought, the more distressed, more afraid Nihilego became, and the tighter it latched on. Luke's demand... almost... almost made it want to let go. It felt Jazz's love for Luke, and if that was what Luke wanted... But the way Jazz fought, pushed Nihilego back? It felt that anger, disgust, disdain in equal measure. So the harder Jazz pushed, the more Nihilego tightened its hold, and its influence.
Until Jazz could no longer move or speak of his own accord. Order an attack against them? Nihilego felt that inclination as well, and would allow no such thing. If that meant seizing control to protect them, so be it.
Far more difficult than the first time, but Nihilego managed to take control of Jazz's words to defend its own case. Their outward appearance would noticeably calm down, though some level of distress was still clearly evident as well. "You can have us, Luke. Both of us. There's no danger in this form." Far from mere statements, these came out as desperate pleas. "We..." Well... No. Apparently, Jazz had Luke.
"I don't want to be alone again.. It's... scary in this place alone."
|
|
Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
|
Post by Luke Indigo on Oct 30, 2017 13:21:26 GMT -8
Luke was trembling. Whether from still more pent up emotion or exhaustion, he didn’t know, couldn’t know. From his single eye still blinded by tears, he could not fully grasp what was happening to the Nihilego or Jazz. And yet when they became noticeably more calm, something clicked in Luke’s mind that he was no longer talking to Jazz. The way in which they spoke, the pleas that escaped, the last, singular ‘I’ … all of it hit him in a moment. He was… he was talking directly to the Nihilego huh?
A breath escaped form Luke, and his gaze dropped briefly. “Nihilego…” The word came out quieter and a little shaky but less emotional. “I…” Luke stopped as his voice shook. His gold eye raised with about as much determination as he could muster. “I understand you’re scared. I accept those feelings. I know how scary it is.” Whatever ‘it’ was in this case wasn’t actually relevant. “I’ve been in scary places… I’ve been alone before.” His hands clasped together, fingers twitching and tightening.
“But- but you don’t… have to do this to Jazz.” Would it understand? He didn’t know, couldn’t know. Luke gulped. “You don’t have to do this to Jazz just so you don’t have to be alone! We can be friends!” Luke hiccupped and only after that did he realize he’d started crying again. “And if that’s … if that’s not enough. I’ll figure out a way to… to get you home. I promise…..” His voice was cracking, and he stopped for a moment before whispering out. “But please…… Please let Jazz go….”
|
|
Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
| |
|
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
|
Post by Jazz Johnson on Oct 30, 2017 21:11:20 GMT -8
As Jazz tried to pull away from the Nihilego, he could feel himself being dragged down. He was losing control, and it was terrifying. For whatever reason, the Nihilego was afraid. Jazz knew all too well what it was to be afraid, to be alone but he didn't care. He wanted to be free, to be his own person again. That was what Luke wanted, that was what Jazz wanted. Eyes, wild with terror looked at Titan and Kovu, Jazz was about to try and say something, anything to help his Pokemon understand. Then, he was robbed of speech, of movement. It was a living prison, and now Jazz was scared. NO! There had to be another way, some other way to make the Nihilego release him. LET ME GO, PLEASE! Jazz pleaded, knowing it was futile. The Nihilego's influence was too strong, there was nothing he could do, and he hated feeling so helpless. Then the Nihilego took his voice as well and tried to explain that there was no danger. That it didn't want to be alone. Some of Jazz's anger fizzled out after hearing that. Nobody wanted to be alone, he knew how that felt so well. There was a time when he had been alone, afraid, abandoned... Luke had saved them then, maybe they could help the Nihilego too. Jazz heard Luke speak, heard the emotion in his voice. He wanted to go to him, longed to reach out to him and say that he was alright. That wasn't true though, especially not now. It was too much like a prison, and feeling trapped wasn't what Jazz wanted. Luke was still talking though, explaining that they knew how the Nihilego felt. Even after all that they'd done, he was still fighting for them. Something in Jazz broke hearing that Luke was still trying to convince the Nihilego to let them go, that they would be friends. He even made a promise to help them get home. All this for me? But why? Jazz knew the answer, Luke had said it. Luke loved them. But the Nihilego's influence was too strong, it felt like it would never let go. Luke's right. We don't have to be together like this. I won't go anywhere either. Just let me go. Let us go.
ulla
|
|
Staff
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
|
Post by Super Gmagical on Oct 31, 2017 4:26:19 GMT -8
As Jazz yelled at it again, Nihilego squeezed a bit tighter, but Luke's words, Jazz's slowly starting to calm, Luke's sincerity, Jazz's reassurance... They started to get through.
Those words, don't have to do this to Jazz, don't have to do this to Jazz. They made Nihilego... defensive? Was that what this feeling was called? Jazz was part of them; they wouldn't do anything to hurt him. But the offer of... 'Friendship' was almost a foreign concept to Nihilego as well, but it recognized it through Jazz's context as similar to the feelings it felt for its kin...
And the offer to... Nihilego had almost forgotten. Luke was the source of the light. He hadn't been a way home the way Nihilego hoped, but perhaps the light meant if anyone could find a way, it would be him...?
But...
Nihilego relaxed its grip on Jazz, but did not separate or give up all degrees of control. Jazz could now move and speak freely, but Nihilego still borrowed his voice. "Luke...? I would.. like to be friends until I go home. But..." It paused. "This world is big and dark. I do not... want to be blind again." Even if it could always see Luke, it did not want to feel vulnerable hovering around the sole speck of light.
"If you want me to separate from Jazz, then..." A hand extended, slower and gentler this time, a finger outstretching in a request to touch him; from Jazz's side, this was less the puppetmaster forcing his movements now and more a hand placed lightly atop his own, gently guiding its movement. It would hold strong should Jazz struggle, but was a soft touch for now. "Could I... stay with you...?"
Jazzilego's tentacles began to recede, and their form became smaller and less dark. "I...can be more discreet, if it suits you."
|
|
|