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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 14, 2017 20:22:33 GMT -8
Kovu would get a weird gentle scratch of ears not quite affectionate but not quite rough or mean— just vaguely there and sort of nice maybe, eh. He wouldn’t answer back when Jazz apologized. Some part of himself was still fuming. He would, however, grab a slice of pizza and take a bite without a word. The Nihilego swayed a bit, and the tendrils of his hair seemed to move of their own accord. It wanted to do something, but what exactly, it knew not.
A slice of pizza was finished then a cheddar knot. Thereafter, Luke sat back folding his arms in front of himself. “I understand you’re doing this out of a place of concern but you have to understand that I need to finish this. I need to be able to work when I have inspiration to.” His voice was less sharp now but still as straightforward as ever. "I cannot afford to lose this. I promised Nilly." Had he mentioned he'd named the Nihilego yet? Nope, not to Jazz anyways.
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 14, 2017 20:47:35 GMT -8
Jazz waited for something, anything that would make his stomach stop trying to tie itself into knots. Kovu at least seemed happier and lay down next to Luke's feet, content for the time being. Well, at least he's eating. Yeah, that was something, and it might have been an excuse to not talk to him. After Luke sat back, Jazz thought about trying to say something, to apologize again or... something like that but then Luke started to speak. The knot in his stomach didn't completely go away, but it lessened a little. Jazz understood why Luke was obsessed, he really did but that didn't mean skip meals or sleep or anything like that. The last sentence though earned a snort from Jazz. Had he just heard that right? Had Luke really nicknamed the Nihilego? "Nilly?"Jazz questioned, smirking a bit, "You nicknamed the Nihilego?" That... that was something else, and Jazz didn't exactly know how to feel about that. It was easier to say certainly but still... Eh, Luke could do what he wanted with the thing fused to him he guessed. "Look, I know that you promised Nilly, I know how important it is to you. I know that. I was fused before you, remember. I could feel that loneliness and-... ," Jazz continued, stopping briefly to collect his thoughts. There were so many other things that he'd felt and none of them he particularly liked to remember. "... and so many other things... But I also care about you, Luke. You'll do Nilly no good if you work yourself into the grave. You asked me for my help when this began, so let me help you. Sure, you won't let me code, fine, I get it. But I can do other things, especially when it comes to engineering and the mechanical aspects of things. You don't have to do this alone. Hell, I could even stay up all night working when my insomnia kicks in. Just, let me do something. I don't want to stand on the sidelines and watch anymore."Maybe that had been too much, maybe he should've backed off a bit but it was the truth. Jazz had spent more time worrying about Luke lately than he could remember. It was hard to concentrate at work knowing that the Nihilego... Nilly was here, and would be here until they figured out how to get it home.
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 14, 2017 21:19:57 GMT -8
“Everyone needs a name,” Luke quipped back immediately after Jazz’s jest. “It wanted one so I gave suggestions.” Granted, what names it had wanted to use initially were quite literally: Luke, Jazz, Orion in that order. It seemed to understand that humans and some Pokemon had names apart from their species, but what made them special was still something it was struggling with. It liked ‘Nilly’ though. It had a nice ring to it.
What came next had Luke frowning. “I’m not dying Jazz,” he huffed irritated that he’d even compare his current state to death. The Nihilego provided so much support in terms of physical strength and prowess. Yes, he may have been tired more, but he could do more so… He had to. The more logical attempt at reasoning, however, had him sighing a bit heavily. “I know that,” he stated after a moment, a bit slower. “But you don’t have to act like this. You’re not my parent and you’re not my keeper. It’s disrespectful to me to treat me like a child that needs to be on a feed and sleep schedule. I’m a scientist.” He glared briefly before fishing up a cheddar knot and taking a bite.
A moment passed, and this time he started speaking not looking at Jazz. “You can help with the machine parts when I get there, but I’m mostly coding right now. The parts for the machine itself aren’t in yet.”
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 14, 2017 21:58:04 GMT -8
Luke's response to the name jest was met with a shrug. Jazz still didn't exactly like it, but Luke did have a point and if the Nihilego had wanted one, ehhh, he guessed it wouldn't hurt. The next response had Jazz flinching a little. He would've replied to that but then Luke went on, telling him he didn't have to act like this. How was he supposed to act then? How was he supposed to take something like this? Knowing that... that Nilly could freeze Luke, could take over at any moment. To be caged like that, Jazz didn't want that for Luke. He knew Luke wasn't a child, he knew that. But... it was hard not to worry. And now... now Luke wouldn't even look at him. He said he could help, but it wouldn't be for a while. Before he knew it, even realized it, Jazz was tearing up again. Fuck this. Hadn't he gotten past this already? "I'm sorry, Luke. I know you're not a child, I know that. I don't mean to... I just... I'm scared, ok?"Jazz blurted out, taking a deep breath before he even tried to explain why he was scared. "I don't know how to feel, I don't know why I can't stop thinking about you. I've never felt like this before, Luke. Never. And I-... The Nihilego trapped me, ok? I couldn't-... I don't want that to happen to you, it can't and...I'm terrified it will."Jazz felt like he couldn't breathe, and it was an effort to keep from running away after that. He hadn't intended on rehashing this, hadn't meant to inflict the same fear he'd been harboring on Luke. He couldn't trust the Nihilego, couldn't bring himself to even like it. How was he supposed to feel?
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 15, 2017 9:22:12 GMT -8
The Nihilego trapped me, ok? I couldn’t— I don’t want that to happen to you, it can’t and I’m terrified it will. Luke looked back at Jazz, staring silently. He could see how hurt and scared he was. He understood his concern in the most logical sense of the word. The Nihilego swayed inside. It wanted to apologize for that but didn’t know how. It had needed a voice, needed a pair of eyes, and Jazz was a vessel at the time among other things.
Luke spoke before it could fish. “Trust me,” his tone was straightforward and his own. “I chose to fuse with Nilly. I chose to accept these tasks. I chose to take these risks knowing full well what they were. I chose to do this and I—“ Luke slowly exhaled, raising a hand up and rubbing over his face. “I trust Nilly.” Three words, they were just three words but made the difference here. “I trust that it wants to go home, that it’s scared, that it’s lonely. I trust that I understand and can accept those feelings just like I understand and accept yours. I trust that we want the same thing… Our relationship is not the same as when it took you over, Jazz. It didn’t ask me what I wanted again. It asked if it could stay until it returned home. It just wants to go home.”
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 15, 2017 13:19:00 GMT -8
How could I be so stupid. No, not stupid, scared. Jazz was scared and that was ok, wasn't it? He didn't like feeling like this and wished it would just go away. But...Luke knew now, and that would make it better right? If he at least knew what the Nihilego could do, would that be enough? Trust me. Those two words had Jazz looking up at Luke again as Luke explained that it was his choice, that he knew the risks. It was... a little hard to take in, to believe even, but Luke had never lied to him before. Jazz did trust Luke, even if he couldn't trust the Nihilego. If Luke said it was his choice... that it was ok, then that's how it was, plain and simple. A weight that Jazz didn't realize he'd been carrying lifted off his shoulders at that. It's not because I wasn't strong enough... Nilly... hadn't told Luke that, right? That he'd begged it to stay rather than go to Luke. But if this was Luke's choice rather than something that was forced upon him... That, that was ok. More than that, Luke trusted Nilly. Jazz knew from when he was fused with the Nihilego what it had felt, that it wanted to go home. It hadn't wanted to be alone then, so it made sense now. Hearing that Luke understood and accepted his feelings was a relief. Even if Jazz didn't fully understand them, Luke did and that was enough. The next words, the explanation that Nilly hadn't asked what Luke had wanted, but rather, if it could stay was news to Jazz. Surprise reflected in his face briefly before he ran his fingers through his hair. "You... never told me that,"Jazz murmured weakly, smirking a bit, "I do trust you, Luke. I always have,"he continued, roughly wiping away the tears that formed there. Breathe, just breathe, it's ok. Was it? Was it really? Yes. He trusted Luke, he trusted the what Luke said was the truth. There wasn't any danger of Nilly taking over. Not when Luke was trying so hard to help get it home. Why would it ruin its only chance to go home? Sighing quietly, Jazz sat back in his chair, willing himself to relax. He was so tired now. Heh, no wonder really, when was the last time he'd slept? Eh, maybe now would be a good time to bring it up. " 'rion's planning on moving in with Nik. That's where he is right now, at Nik's. 'n... I guess, I just, wanted to see you,"Jazz explained, smirking a bit before rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, " 'm normally fine home alone but... dunno, just felt I had to-... no, more like I really wanted to come over."
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 15, 2017 16:11:12 GMT -8
You never told me that. Luke sighed. Some part of him wondered why he had to. Why he had to make himself so explicitly clear. Ugh he was tired and not in the physical way. The Nihilego swayed a bit, and he could feel its layers shifting around on his skin. The start of a massage, kind of? Kind of. I do trust you, I always have. Some part of him knew this, some part of him didn’t believe it.
He… was not ready for what escaped into the air after. Though his features didn’t show anything, Nilly’s reaction in his skin and the way the tendrils of his hair moved made some of those feelings obvious anyways. I’m normally fine home alone but… I really wanted to come over… Luke sighed, setting an elbow on the table and pressing his forehead into the crux of his hand. “I have heard nothing about this,” he finally stated, his voice vague and irritated. “What is he thinking?” Orion… clearly was not, and that annoyed him more.
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 16, 2017 0:29:47 GMT -8
Jazz watched as Luke's hair moved of his own accord and wondered if he would ever get used to that. Luke's blank stare as he took in what he'd said. After Jazz explained wanting to come over he wasn't sure what he'd been expecting but ... had he said something wrong? Was it bad to want to spend time with Luke? Even if things hadn't gone quite the way he'd been hoping. So far he'd manage to piss off Luke and then get all emotional because he couldn't stop worrying. Sure, he felt better about it now... but... it might have been easier if they'd talked earlier. Or if you'd stop blaming yourself. Yeah, that too. Still, Luke's next statement and following question was reasonable enough, it had come as a surprise to him too. But Jazz had accepted it and moved on, it wasn't like he could tell Orion exactly what he could or couldn't do anyway. "I just found out about it tonight, Luke. He sounded pretty serious about it. Kinda freaked out when I thought he was gonna just, disappear again but sounds like he wants to stay in Veria, actually set down some roots. Doesn't sound like a bad thing, yunno?"Jazz explained, shrugging a bit before taking a drink of his soda, "He said he wanted a house with a yard and a pond even. Dunno exactly what he's thinking but, maybe it'd be good for him? 'rion actually suggested you could stay at the apartment with me, move into his old room 'n stuff. Iunno, maybe it'd be kinda cool rooming together," he continued, hoping that the suggestion wouldn't sound too outrageous. Actually, the thought of living with Luke sounded amazing and Jazz was having a hard time hiding his excitement at the prospect of it. "Maybe we could umm, live together too? I mean... at the apartment or 'ere, whichever. I've been over a lot more lately and just... It would be cool. If yer ok with it, that is, I mean, I'd get to see you more and help like I always have. 'm not just saying this cuz Orion brought it up. It just made me think about it more cuz... well, I've been thinking about you a lot since we talked 'n... Iunno, it would be nice to see more of you,"Jazz managed, stuttering a little as he tried to express himself. It was a lot harder talking about this sorta thing then he thought. His voice shook a lot more than he thought it should and his stomach was doing this weird flip flop thing. Why did feelings have to be so complicated? He was excited about this, wasn't he? It was a good thing so... why did he feel so anxious?
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 16, 2017 6:17:08 GMT -8
Orion was going to stay in Veria, set down roots in a stationary house, with a boyfriend…. Why…. Why did this annoy him so deeply? Luke knew why, but damn it if it wasn’t an illogical sentiment to have after so many years. Then there was the matter of Orion just suggest-deciding Luke could stay move into his and Jazz’s place and ….. “I have a place,” Luke muttered under his breath.
Maybe we could live together too? This was… this was a lot and entirely too soon. Especially when he was working on this project. The last thing he needed was Jazz breathing down his neck all the time… The last thing he needed was to be forced into any kind of situation by Orion being impulsive.
“I’d… rather not,” Luke answered slowly, his gaze fixed on the table. “The place upstairs is perfect for me, but it’s a one bedroom. And...I … don’t want to live with anyone right now either.” Looking up, he rested his chin on his hands. “Especially not when things can be complicated …” Both in science and in feelings. He did not… want any excuse to just…. stop thinking. But it’d be nice wouldn’t it? Luke bit the inside of his mouth. Nilly stay out of this.. The Nihilego retreated some in their shared mind space.
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 16, 2017 15:48:05 GMT -8
As anxious as he was, Jazz didn't miss the way Luke muttered under his breath or the way he seemed to be hesitating answering him. Was it really that bad? Did he say something wrong? No, no, stop it. Everything was ok, right? Right. The worst Luke could say was no and even then, Jazz could deal with that. Sure it would be awesome, but at the same time he could deal with living by himself. Luke's answer did sting a little, but Jazz just smirked a bit and shrugged, given the way Luke had reacted earlier when interrupted it wasn't a huge surprise he didn't want to right now. The next thing he said however was a little harder to take? Yeah, relationships could be complicated but... right, Orion had said that Luke might be scared to. Biting his lower lip a bit, Jazz looked thoughtful before reaching across the table to set a hand over Luke's. If allowed, he'd take it and give it a brief squeeze. "Hey, I get it. You don't want any interruptions until this project is done. We can revisit this after the device is finished, or even after Nilly goes home,"Jazz replied softly, smiling encouragingly at Luke, "But... Luke, life is complicated. And I mean, relationships can get messy but... do you regret what you told me? Do you want to go back to being just friends? I guess... I'm asking what you want, Luke,"he continued, trying to be understanding. He... didn't want to overwhelm Luke, didn't want to push him away and hell it would be hard to go back to the way things were. But, if it was for Luke, he could do it. He'd done it before, he could do it again... somehow.
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 16, 2017 16:09:51 GMT -8
Jazz’s motion, however intentionally tender, would have Luke pulling his hand out of his grasp. A frown held on his features, but he said nothing as Jazz spoke. The insistence that life was complicated, however, had him deadpanning a bit. No, no it wasn’t. Life could be as straightforward as you made it. He knew from experience. He didn’t have to be Orion’s friend. He didn’t have to be Jazz’s. He didn’t have to deal with people at all. Plants were not complicated. Pokemon were not complicated. If there was one thing he wanted less of, it was complications.
The question that came after, however, had Luke frowning. Some part of him very really did regret it. He knew that. He felt that. He did not want Jazz to be like this around him. It was so uncomfortable and frustrating. “I guess,” he answered reaching back and rubbing his own temples a bit. “It’s easier to define and more useful right now.” Than… any mix of feelings he had right now anyways was. The Nihilego swayed, and Luke sighed.
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 16, 2017 16:27:26 GMT -8
Luke's expression had Jazz's stomach doing that weird flip flop thing again but he could do this... wanted to do this. If this was best for Luke, he had to. The way Luke frowned though made Jazz wonder if he'd said too much. Had he insulted Luke by insinuating that he regretted what he'd said? It was something that was said in a moment of heightened emotions and... Jazz had no way of knowing how much of what had been said was Nilly's influence either. This is for the best. Was it? Was it really? Just for now. A deep breath would be taken before Jazz pulled back his hand and placed it in his lap. If he was going to do this, he couldn't touch Luke like that. Besides, Luke had said they needed time... he could give him that. He had said that... and yet... "But is easier, better? If this is really what you want... what you need from me, I can respect that. I'll back off again and won't bring it up unless you're ready,"Jazz replied softly, carefully. Arceus, this hurt. His heart felt like it was in a vise but it was ok. It had to be.
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 16, 2017 17:09:32 GMT -8
Luke took a slow breath. “I need some space,” he reasserted. “I need space and I need time. I need to be able to focus on the things that are necessary to further my own goals…. And I need space and time to work out my feelings.” A sigh escaped from him, and Luke was aware of just how tired he was right then. Nilly might not have been helping with that, actually. Ugh c’mon Nil stop draining his energy like this… Some part of him knew it wasn’t exactly the Nihilego’s fault, however. “And you barging in saying you need to see me just… complicates things in ways I don’t want. I’m… I am not willing to compromise who or how I am. I won’t.”
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 16, 2017 23:13:35 GMT -8
Each of Luke's words made sense in the most logical sense of the word. Jazz knew that Luke needed time, he had said as much. They both needed to grow, to change if necessary. Arceus knew he was having a hard enough time with Luke's wish to stop being so self-depricating. Old habits die hard. Still, even though they made sense, that didn't stop them from hurting a little. It was selfish thinking really, to think that just because Orion was moving in with Nik that Luke would automatically be on board. That had never been how Luke did things and it was a silly thing to bring up now. And then Luke said that wanting to see him complicated things. Jazz couldn't hide the slight wince from hearing that. Was it... really that bad to want to see him? Had he made a mistake coming here? That last sentence though, stung more than anything else. Why would Luke think I want him to change? "I never asked that of you, Luke..."Jazz replied softly, taking a deep breath to try and sort through his thoughts. He didn't know exactly what to think about that but... perhaps starting with an apology would be good. "I'm sorry if you thought that. O-or if coming here was a mistake, if feeling like I needed to see you was wrong... I'm sorry," He continued, almost wishing that he had just stayed home. What else could he say though? What else could he do? "But... I respect your decision. I understand, and I won't press you,"Jazz said after a few moments, looking up at Luke again. The last thing he wanted to do was push Luke away. That was why he hadn't pushed for more than just friendship. But... when it had been practically handed to him, he'd been so happy. This was the best thing for Luke though, and Jazz knew that. Even if it meant putting his own happiness on hold.
ulla
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Pokémon League
Professor of Botany
Any trainer that can't afford medicine can come to me. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Luke Indigo on Nov 17, 2017 7:52:25 GMT -8
Luke’s lips pressed together hard. Finally, a sigh escaped from him. “Thank you,” he sigh-answered reaching up to rub the top right portion of his forehead. Nilly swayed and shifted against his skin, but Luke barely registered it now. As an afterthought, Luke took a drink. The sting of soda was weirdly refreshing for a few seconds before it dissolved away entirely. Vaguely, some part of him was tired and ready for bed. He didn’t want to deal with this anymore, and he just wanted to be done with everything: completely done. “You can stay right now, but I need to get some work done…” he finally spoke, slowly forcing himself to stand up again. He was tired, but he could press just a bit further and get that last coding portion done. Then he could sleep.
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