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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 8:11:07 GMT -8
The silence that persisted was not obtrusive to Orion— at least not at the moment. Even if he was aware Nik was up, some part of him also just assumed he was letting him sleep or something similar. What Orion was, however, was sore. Arceus, he was sore. Everywhere. His back and ribs hurt the worst but damn it if everything else didn’t hurt. Could he just Not, maybe? Mmmmmmm…. Actually…he could probably use some pain meds huh? Maybe if he slid back up and asked Nik for some directly…..
It’d take almost another fifteen minutes before he did that, oops, heh “Mornin….” he finally muttered. “Can you get me some meds?” He thought of adding ‘please’ to that but his throat hurt and talking was already a pain so…. Meh.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 8:42:36 GMT -8
Nik didn't react immediately, at least not visibly, though when he heard what he thought sounded like 'morning' his thumb did shift to the volume button to turn it way down. Finally, he sighed through his nose and sat up. Some part of him was tempted to throw a bottle of aspirin at him and tell him to make due, but he let himself glance back. Just in what he could see, the bruising already looked worse than last night, and Nik didn't have to imagine too hard to get an idea of how much that hurt. He'd never been that bad, but he'd had plenty of bad bruises in different areas. Just imagining them all at once was easy enough, even if he really wished he hadn't.
Uuuuugh fine. He reached over to his drawer instead to get one of his prescriptions to hand Orion instead. "Hang on and I'll grab you a drink," he told him. His voice was pretty listless despite the consideration, but.. oh well.
It was still morning just now, and as Nik wandered into the kitchen it seemed Jazz wasn't up yet. That was almost a relief. He still kind of needed some time to process everything before jumping back in to others' problems. He'd come back with two sodas and a bottle of water to let Orion take his pick, but he'd just hold them out in offer rather than saying anything.
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 8:55:34 GMT -8
Taking the med as it was handed to him, Orion might have considered dry swallowing it on any other day. Right then, though, he was going to need a lot to drink. As Nik came, Orion would shift, sitting up off the bed slowly. Vaguely afraid the soda would sting, he’d take the water bottle and open it instead, popping back the pill and drinking along with it. Damn it, the water still stung. A small wet cough would escape from him right after, but that was about it.
It was only after that that Orion really looked up at Nik’s face. For a few seconds, he’d stare before reaching back to grab his glasses and clarify things. “….Thanks…” he finally spoke before looking forward again and taking a slower sip of water. Ugh Arceus why did this sting, like seriously.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 9:10:38 GMT -8
Nik... shifted uncomfortably. "Mm," he vaguely acknowledged. He set one soda aside and cracked the other open and drank a bit before setting it on the night stand, then sighed softly to himself.
A minute passed, then another, but it felt far longer. They... were not going to get anywhere if he waited for Orion, were they... Hhhhh fine... "You should have told me what you were planning," he muttered quietly. He... pulled one of the blankets up to become a human Swadloon before continuing. "I would've tried to talk you out of it and told you it was stupid but you probably could've convinced me. I could've gone with you and..." And what? Not like his being in the audience would've stopped him from getting stabbed. Maybe he would've just been a distraction.
"I don't know. I just... wanna be involved in big decisions like this." And kept telling him as much and yet...
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 9:30:44 GMT -8
Orion nearly spit his drink. Oh… Oh. Oh. He fought the urge to flop back and disappear under the covers again with purpose this time. Grimacing, he stared down at the water bottle. “I….” He gulped remembering back to the initial thoughts that had sprung up when they had— and how they had. He gulped and struggled with words for a few seconds before finally speaking.
“I know…. But …I…. also wanted it to be a surprise?” he spoke weakly, a weird laugh not quite coming to fruition at the end there. “I…” A puff of air escaped from him, and he would have shook his head but it’d hurt his neck. “I didn’t… expect to get this fucked up and …. I just… wanted to ……” Trying to describe it as a ‘gift’ now was giving him such a sinking feeling, and he kind of just wanted to Not.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 9:36:45 GMT -8
You know? Those words instilled such a sudden rage in him. If you KNOW you should have fucking-- He quickly and quietly huffed. Nope. He just. No. No of course you didn't expect, no of course you just, of course, of course.
A bone dry bitter 'heh', almost a bark but not nearly enough force behind it to be, proceeded, "You know, an even bigger surprise would have been you actually talking to me about something like this for once." Oh??? Well now that that was out he almost cringed at himself but. He apparently wasn't planning to apologize for it so. okay.
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 9:42:33 GMT -8
…..
……………
Orion’s lisp parted but no words came out, so he closed them again. Maybe he was just burnt out from being yelled at or maybe he just had a little head trauma but either way he just… didn’t really process it right. Some part of him wanted to burst into tears? The other part of him was aware he was so dry he doubted he’d be able to even now. “Ok.” Was that all he was going to say? C’mon Orion, really? You could make an excuse or apologize after the fact or something more than ‘ok’???? No??? Apparently not?
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 9:55:19 GMT -8
.... Yeah. That stung and he deserved it. He would... like to blame Dasha or maybe mom but, ha, no that was just... ugh he was the one telling everyone else not to beat Orion while he was down and yet? Apparently this was Different (TM). Except not really...
He didn't trust himself to say anything else right now, and he just.. turned away and lay down in his blanket cocoon, pulling his phone back over and shoving the earbuds back in. Maybe they just.. both needed more time.
...Except then a series of well or ill timed songs would end up making him cry, so there was that. Just a few silent tears on the edge of his eyes at first, but the staggered breaths of some light sobs would come after. He was the one who was a fucking idiot...
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 10:03:40 GMT -8
Orion set the water bottle on the headboard and laid back down. Laying on his side would’ve hurt, so instead he just sort of stared at the ceiling in silence. In the silence of the room, he could hear bits and pieces of Nik’s music and some of the breathed sobs. Both eyes closed, and he feigned sleep for a while, his breath slow and repetitive.
He felt… so low. So very low. Negative thoughts spiraled in his head for a while, but on the surface, his features were placid if not maybe just tired. Some deep dark humor whispered Guess you should die, and for some reason he nearly laughed at that. It came out as a weird puff of air instead. Welp, guess so.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 10:59:30 GMT -8
Wow this was just...Fuck Nik In The Heart Day wasn't it. He was hurting and so angry at everything and especially at himself right now and he kept silently willing for Orion to roll over here and hug him. He wanted it so badly, but alas, all his efforts were in vein. He simply wasn't Force-sensitive enough to be a Jedi. Wouldn't Orion be amused by the struggle, haha... ha... ha.........
More songs and overthinking eventually got to him, though, and he decided "breaking first" was worth it if it helped. So he'd be the one to pull his earbuds out, roll over, and wrap an arm over Orion, pressing his wet face against him. "I'm sorry..." He squeezed tighter, then immediately realized that was a bad idea and withdrew his arm with another "Sorry."
He just... he just??? "It's just... I keep asking for. one thing. And when you keep not doing it it's easy to feel like...." He bit his lip, shook his head. "But look at you and look what you did for me and..." One shriller sob escaped him as he tightened in on himself, wanting to hug him tight again but not wanting to hurt him.
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 11:18:07 GMT -8
The pressure of that arm and face forced one yellow eye open again. The squeeze immediately had him wincing, but the apology had him sighing. The words that came after though might have hurt him more than anything. He winced, coughed, and rolled sideways away from Nik. Ugh it hurt his side but… “I’msorryIcan’tgetanormalhighpayingjob….” the slur came out in a whine. He… Arceus he was suck a fuck up huh? Didn’t finish high school. Didn’t go to college. Didn’t get a regular job despite at least some skill in what the fuck ever. Couldn’t do anything right even when he tried. Hhhhhhhh.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 11:36:28 GMT -8
HHHHHHHH PANIC set in as Nik scrambled to prop himself up and push himself a bit farther toward the headboard. "No, no no no no babe no." His hands worked to brush Orion's hair from his face and stroke his cheek as he spoke. "This was never-- I'm upset that you did something like this without telling me but it's-- I know you're... It's okay. I promise. You try so hard and I love you so much and..." Words weren't really gonna be enough right now, were they?? Heh... heh. h-h-h-hhh... He gently nuzzled Orion's face as his mind raced for some way to make this better. A thought occurred that... might have kind of been dumb but without an alternative in mind, he'd reach over and grab his phone, pull up one of the songs he'd been listening too, and with a pleading look, offer Orion the headphones.
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 12:02:19 GMT -8
Orion just sighed, not… really believing Nik’s insistence right then. He had plenty of rebuttals for words, but there was no point in even saying them since they’d just drag Nik down. The gentle touches were nice kind of but…. Orion kind of just wanted to fade out of existence for a while heh. Or he guessed maybe forever, lol. Yeah. Would probably be better for everyone involved. A deeper sigh escaped from him.
It would take him a moment to register the headphones and even longer to finally accept them. He… really didn’t want to listen to anything right now, but— Oh… He knew this song already, from the intro piece. It twisted up his stomach. The assurance of the chorus had him choking a bit and weak noises escaped form him several times through it. His hand may have started twisting and pealing at the bandage on his other arm a bit too.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 2, 2017 12:30:34 GMT -8
Nik just.. wanted so badly for this to be over. He wanted... so much and so little. "Please..." he squeaked out. "This... really was incredible, and I'm still.. having trouble processing just how much it's gonna help. I just." A strange high-pitched noise, some kind of questioning squeak-whimper? followed. "I want this to be the last dangerous surprise, at least for a while...? That's all..."
He grimaced, and pressed his face against Orion's hair. "That's all.. that's all, I.." His lungs threatened to hyperventilate for a few seconds before he got them under control again. "I don't wanna see you like this, especially not without warning. I want your smile and your laugh and your humor and wit and charm, and your loyalty and your cooking and your warmth annnd I just realized I'm a dumbass who's making it sound like I want the good parts of you without the bad but I swear that's not it I just..."
Now his heart was sinking, suddenly and rapidly. "I'm sorry." He shrank back. "I'm a dumbass and I'm pushing you and... sorry. I should just... sorry." He rolled to face the other way.
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Dec 2, 2017 12:45:35 GMT -8
Hah….hahahah????? Last dangerous surprise at least for a while… Could he even…. Did he even…. Fuck, apparently not? Couldn’t even do one thing Nik asked right. Some weird pain-laugh was writhing in his stomach but never made it to the surface aside from the occasional twitch of his body.
I don’t want to see you like this… Yeah, he wouldn’t wanna see him either, honestly. He knew that wasn’t what Nik meant, and the follow up pretty much proved that but? But? Making it sound like I want the good parts of you without the bad. Ah, yeah. That was what it was huh? As Nik shrank back, Orion didn’t move immediately. It was only as he quieted and rolled over to face the other way that slowly Orion shifted rolling to rest his face against Nik’s back. He wouldn’t otherwise touch him but….
“I just want to be happy…” he choked out suddenly. Ugh that wasn’t— Ugh. “And I just want you to be proud of me…” His voice was distant and shaky at best. “No one ever is…. Not like…. Not like…. ” Auntie was. He’d just seen her a couple weeks back, and she was so happy for him??? But she wasn’t here and couldn’t always be here. And he didn’t want that anyways. He didn’t want it from her right then anyways. He wanted….ugh….
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