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Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Dec 5, 2017 19:16:49 GMT -8
Jazz relaxed a bit more when Nik spoke. Good, he hadn't meant the fact that he knew Mia to be a surprise which... well, it could have been very awkward considering Nik's boyfriend status. It was a neat coincidence though and having Nik on board with this surprise would make things so much easier. It was a relief actually and Jazz couldn't wait to get back home to try and come up with a rough sketch to see if Nik would like it. Hmm, maybe a universal remote too? That might be a little too elaborate but ehh, he could see what would work. "That would be awesome if she doesn't realize it. Gotta admit, I had no idea how I was gonna pull this off and still keep it a surprise. But hmm, as for measurements, I could probably get by with a spare sleeve or, long shot, if she has any old prosthetics? I would only need the upper part of the arm to see how it fits,"Jazz explained excitedly, snickering a bit at Nik's smirk, "You're right though, with her muscles I'd need to have some way to maybe make it flex? Like a real arm would do. That could get complicated but I can do some research later. I need to figure out what tools I need to pull this off anyway. The ones I have are great for machines but I don't think they'll work for small moving parts like this.Yeah... huh, maybe he was biting off more than he could chew with this. Well... wait, didn't Marceline have some labs? Luke worked with her now... they could have the equipment he needed. Huh, that was something else to ask Orion now wasn't it.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 5, 2017 19:42:37 GMT -8
"Er?? I mean she just lost the arm," he noted. "But I guess if she gets a temporary one I can try to snag it when the fit wears out as an idea." He guessed maybe he kind of should have assumed that was what Jazz meant by old prosthetics in the first place but still. Pedantic need for clarity and all.
"And ah.. hm. By muscle I meant.. Dunno how much you've looked into it yet or if you've been focused on the mechanical side but I've been reading stuff on prosthetics since I found out. The muscle mass around the site will gradually atrophy so she won't be able to be fitted for a permanent prosthetic until that that stops or else it'll have to be super adjustable to compensate, which I guess gives us plenty of time to figure out what to do tricking it out at least. But now that you mention it, I wonder if flexing would be an issue or not, so... Huh." He clearly had more research to do. Or both apparently.
He looked around a bit, but then stood up to stretch. "You wanna walk around town, by the way? See the neighborhood?"
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Dec 5, 2017 20:03:17 GMT -8
As Nik explained a bit about the prosthetic and why it needed to be adjustable, Jazz hummed thoughtfully and nodded. Hmm, yeah, he needed to look into that too, among other things. There was so much research he had to do it would be nice to be able to do something productive when insomnia struck again. "Yeah, I still have to look into it but I mean, it'll take me a while to get the wiring right and work out all the kinks. By the time I finish the skeleton, I'm pretty sure the muscle will have settled by then. At least we can hope, right? Either way, I can try and do what I can to make it adjustable if that's still necessary," Jazz explained, shrugging his shoulders a bit before he stood as well, "Besides, it gives me something to do when insomnia acts up again. I've finished quite a few projects that way."The offer to walk around and see the neighborhood made him smile and nod. "Sure~, I wouldn't mind walking around a bit. Maybe we could see the beach later?" That would be nice, wouldn't it. The waves always seemed to have a calming effect on him. Back when he and Orion were still hotel hopping, his favorite place had been by the water. Maybe Orion's obsession with fish and water Pokemon was contagious. Heh.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 6, 2017 12:57:22 GMT -8
--get the wiring right and work out all the kinks. Nik had to very actively resist echoing the word 'kinks' apparently, but once that brief urge passed he was good. "A great project for sure. If you can nail it I know she'll be thrilled."
As Jazz mentioned the beach, though, Nik smirked. "You'd have to head to the mainland for that, pretty sure." Had Jazz ever been to Pahala? He supposed he'd find out. He started making his way toward the edge, but it would take a few minutes to get there.
In the meantime... "So hey. You mind if I ask some questions about the whole Chroma Cookie thing?"
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Dec 6, 2017 23:36:28 GMT -8
Jazz grinned at Nik's encouragement and nodded, "Yeah, 'n my 'surrogate dad' kin help me work out the logistics of it. I'll prolly call him once I have a general idea of what I want to do," Jazz explained, shrugging a bit when Nik mentioned that the beach would be on the mainland. Ehh, oh well. They could find another time to visit it. If it was close enough, maybe he could try and walk there mornings or something? Yeah, exploring the neighborhood would probably be a better option than spending the day at the beach now that he thought about it. He had been about to say something along those lines when Nik asked about the Chroma Cookie and Jazz stopped to look at him. Was he serious? Wouldn't those kind of questions be better to ask Luke? Or... maybe it was because he'd actually eaten one before. Luke had made it though so... Ok? What the hell, it wouldn't hurt to see what Nik wanted to know. "Yeah? Luke would be better to ask since 'e made it but I kin give it a shot. 'sup?"
ulla
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 7, 2017 1:05:31 GMT -8
"Ah.. Nah, I've read the logistics report and all, but you're definitely the one I'm more interested in asking." It... did occur to him then that Luke had been temporarily feminized under its effects back when he made it, huh? Which would be more directly useful for him but.. Nik didn't wanna talk to Luke any time soon, heh. And Jazz still had the most longterm exposure.
"Like... have you noticed any side effects, either longterm or back when you first took it?" Ah, that still sounded kind of clinical and like-- if not a question for Luke maybe one Luke would ask for research. A bit of color came to Nik's cheeks and his voice grew a bit softer as his questions shifted. "Does it... feel much different? L-like.. does it feel like a brand new body or like wearing slightly different clothes or could you almost forget the details if they weren't vaguely more comfortable or...?" He... didn't know if Jazz knew, and didn't want him to think he was just being invasive if he didn't, so he'd add to explain, "I've been.. planning to take one once we move so..."
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Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Dec 8, 2017 0:45:41 GMT -8
When Nik assured him that he was the one to ask preferably, Jazz nodded and remained quiet until Nik asked what was on his mind. Side Effects? Well, he was as tired as hell for a few days after and slept like a log during but ehh, there wasn't many that he'd noted. Well, there was the aura glimpses that he thought might've been a side effect for a while but that was Different. Still, it was worth mentioning at least. Though... considering how much Orion disliked aura being brought up it... might become a point of contention? Ehhh, well, maybe it wouldn't happen. The next questions however had Jazz looking thoughtful for a bit. His own experience with it did take some getting used to for several reasons. It would probably be easier for Nik in the long run but Luke had said it was different for everyone so it really depended maybe. The question about wearing slightly different clothes earned a quiet snort from Jazz. That was a different way of putting it he supposed but hmmm... it just felt better to him? But if Nik was planning to take it, that was cool. "Yeah? That's awesome, man," Jazz grinned, running his fingers through his hair as he thought back on the questions. "Lessee... as fer side effects, not much really. I mean, it knocks ya out pretty darn quick, and I couldn't do much 'cept sleep 'n eat fer days after. Dunno if you would consider it a side effect but I started seeing aura wisps when I was finally fully coherent after the change," Jazz explained, shrugging his shoulders a bit, " 'rion doesn't like it when I bring aura up so I don't talk about it much but that's a thing now and 's pretty cool," he continued, smirking a bit as he walked. Aura was cool, but also overwhelming at times especially when around such extreme auras like Niso's or Nilly's apparently. "But I wouldn't say 's 'different' so much. I mean, 's still yer body, yer scars 'n what nawt 'r still gonna be there. I guess the clothes analogy fits, heh. I mean, when I saw myself fer the first time it was more like, relief I guess? Well, that 'n awe and woah that's me? But it just felt better. Like it fit. Took some getting used to fer a couple days cuz some things weren't as intuitive. But I don't regret it. Hope 's like that fer ya too," Jazz explained, smiling more genuinely at Nik, "Though I think you'll have to fight 'rion for the housewife title~," he snorted, only half teasing at that point.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 8, 2017 4:12:11 GMT -8
Oh yeah? Huh. All right. Yeah good to know. Some of that he'd seen already in the official info but hearing it firsthand from Jazz gave a better idea of severity and scope to look out for. ... Aura was a new one?? He uh-- Aura ran in his family though, right?? And not in Nik's that he knew of. So hopefully it was either coincidental or just... like maybe chemical changes just served as a catalyst to unblock a potential that was always there, or.. something? Ha. If he did start seeing aura he'd be sure not to say anything to Orion until he was sure, and if they did seem to be linked maybe he'd have to suggest Orion try the more feminine side for a month and see if it would help him, heh.
The last bit had Nik snorting though. "Pretty sure he prefers 'househusband' anyway, but he can have both if he wants. I don't uh. Actually think I'm a girl so much as I just wanna feel more feminine. I'll still be like... probably at least 20% dude or something though I guess we'll have to see if I change my mind once other people don't see me that way. But mostly my actual gender ranges between 'hell if I know' and 'nah I'm good'." He laughed almost under his breath.
"....Still pretty excited though honestly," he admitted.
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Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Dec 8, 2017 14:00:43 GMT -8
Jazz grinned at Nik's comment and shook his head. Nah, house wife still fit Orion a lot more than househusband but he wasn't gonna argue the point right then. Still, Nik's explanation about what he felt like sounded really familiar... though the opposite was true with him heh for the most part at least. Though the way Nik described his gender had Jazz laughing a bit more. He couldn't really relate to that part as much but still, Nik couldn't help but grin when Nik said he was excited about it. "Hey, nuthin' wrong with that~,"Jazz smirked a bit, "I wuz excited too, think that means yer making the right choice." Considering Nik wouldn't be able to change back for at least a couple weeks it was always good to be certain about it. Still, it was kinda cool how similar he and Nik were in a lot of different ways. "Dunno if ya remember me back before I changed, but I get not wanting to be referred to as a girl if that makes sense. I mean, maybe if my dad was still here things would've been different but I mostly tolerated feminine things after he was gone. Mom's really into dresses 'n stuff 'n wanted me to be, but I liked playin' outside with dad more. Then the gang happened 'n I guess being a girl somehow became a bad thing so, 'ere we are," Jazz explained, shrugging slightly before smirking, " 'fraid you'll have to ask someone else about a new wardrobe though. I sorta burned all my bras first chance I got."
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 15, 2017 9:23:54 GMT -8
Oh yeah? Huh... The way Jazz talked, Nik couldn't help but wonder how much of his own transition had been an innate desire and how much was influenced by ah.. wanting to distance himself from the bad memories with the gang? Or.. maybe he was reading that wrong and it was more like.. the gang had just drawn focused attention on how much it always felt wrong, or something like that. He supposed it wasn't really any of his business, though. Jazz was happy now, and that was what was important.
He couldn't help but snort at the end, though. "Ya know somehow wearing your used bras probably wouldn't have been my first choice anyway, but thanks for the consideration." He snickered.
It was.. already getting kind of 'late', huh? They hadn't been up long, but they slept in so late... Or lazed in as the case may be, hehe. "... Hey, uh.. I wanted you to know..." ... This was already too sappy and forward but ugh he was gonna make himself anyway. "I hope you know you can talk to me.. When you're upset or... whatever.." Very strong speech, good job Nik. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I just.. don't want you to feel alone."
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Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Dec 16, 2017 21:34:52 GMT -8
At Nik's reply to his last statement, Jazz laughed and shook his head. Yeah, getting second hand bras sounded gross even to him but oh well. Jazz was just glad he didn't have to deal with it anymore, it had always been embarrassing for him to have to shop for underwear, especially when Orion was around. At least Nik had a sister to help him, that would make it easier and less awkward if Nik had questions about things after the change. Ehhh, he'd cross that bridge when he came to it... hopefully it wouldn't but who knew. Stretching a little, Jazz had just been about to suggest looking in one of the stores that had caught his eye when Nik started speaking again. Hmm? Wow, that was... that was a lot different than what they'd expected to hear after that talk. Somehow the fact that Nik knew about the shit they'd done, accepted him for it, and wanted to help had Jazz blinking away tears. A lump had formed in his throat and for a few moments, he didn't exactly know what to say back. What could he say back? A simple 'thank you' sounded so weak somehow and just, why had they taken so long to talk in the first place? That last sentence had Jazz swallowing pretty hard, averting his eyes from Nik as he struggled to find the right words to say. How did he know? Being alone was perhaps Jazz's worst fear, and the worry that people would just up and leave them still hadn't fully gone away. Maybe never would. Some part of him still wondered when his friends would realize he was trash and leave him or worse, betray him just like the gang had when he needed them most. A deep breath would be taken before Jazz managed a small smile. "Thanks, man... I mean it,"Jazz murmured, running his fingers through his hair, "I... might jis take ya up 'n dat. Heh. If I didn't know better, I'd say yer psychic 'r summin'. 'rion knows dis, but perhaps my worst fear 's bein' alone. Sometimes I wonder when teh other shoe's gonna drop, yunno? 've lost a lot, but I've gained so much and... the friends I have now... e'en Orion sometimes. I gotta wonder when they'll realize I'm trash and leave." A sort of bitter half laugh escaped him before he shoved his hands in his pockets. Why was he telling Nik this again? "Yunno why I begged Nilly to take me first? Why I almost became a monster? Cuz I was terrified of losing Luke. Of all the people I know, I couldn't lose him. I wanted to protect him and fuck the consequences. I didn't give a damn about what happened to me. Wow, that was... a lot more than he was expecting to tell but oh well? "Arceus, I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. Just, forget it. 'm a fuckup, you know that. Dunno how talkin' 'bout it will make that any better."
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Dec 31, 2017 0:57:20 GMT -8
Nik hadn't quite expected such an immediate outpour at the offer, but he certainly wasn't going to complain. He listened quietly, nodding occasionally, until Jazz made it clear he was done.
"Because it does make it better," he answered. "Like just by default, getting stuff off your chest to someone you can trust helps so much it's almost stupid." The laugh he gave emphasized that opinion. He couldn't fully understand the logistics of it either, but here they were and it was proving itself yet again, yeah? Heh.
"Guess also because it gives others the opportunity to say shit like.... same though? Heh. Like not the Nihilego thing but like. Basically the biggest reason I gave Orion a promise ring instead of proposing at this point is because even though I want to spend my life with him and I'm actively taking steps in that direction with the house, I can't actually convince myself that's real. That it's not some dream I'm about to wake up from or that he won't get bored of me again or--" whoops did he say 'again' out loud? whoops oh well-- "find someone better or just kind of generally realize I suck once the infatuation wears off. And even this is like? I wouldn't put any effort into making friends for years because I kept telling myself it wasn't worth the disappointment when they inevitably ditched me. So this is progress." He chuckled slightly.
"But yeah. I get those feelings, man. Like, deeply."
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 2, 2018 0:33:57 GMT -8
Nik's initial response surprised Jazz more than he cared to admit. He still didn't know exactly why he'd told Nik all those things but... now that Jazz thought about it, he did feel better? Somehow? Heh, Nik was right, it didn't make sense but hey, if it worked it worked, right? Right. Before he could say anything else, Nik had gone on, saying he could relate. How was that possible? Now that Jazz thought about it, he had seen the ring Nik had mentioned. Orion never really took it off and had even worn it on a chain last night. That was because Nik couldn't believe it was real? Just like me. There were still times that Jazz thought he was dreaming, or that his friends would wake up and leave him. The bit about Orion getting bored of Nik again had Jazz quirking his brow a bit. Seeing them together, Jazz honestly couldn't imagine that happening. And yet... Nik still had those thoughts. The bit about not making the effort to make friends explained why it had taken them so long to actually talk. Well, more than just a passing greeting at any rate. Heh, there was a reason why Mia had become their first friend. Even with how loud they'd been at the time and borderline insulting even... well, Mia and her had just sorta... clicked? They were still good friends now even after Jazz had taken the cookie and that said something. "Shit man," Jazz murmured quietly, shaking his head in almost disbelief. How was it possible that he'd been practically living with someone who could relate for... weeks? And yet? Well, Nik had just explained why but... damn. "First off, I've never seen 'rion as happy as when he's with you. You've changed him for the better and... 'm pretty sure you had something to do with him sticking around Sinclair. So... thanks for that. We'd been hotel hopping up until that point. 's nawt all 's cracked up to be. But the point is, 's so obvious he loves you. I can only dream of something like that. Jis... cherish it, k?"Damn... he really was getting too emotional for this right now. Why was so hard to talk? Breathe, just breathe. It was ok. "Yunno... before this, Luke was the one person I had. Even when everyone left, abandoned, or betrayed me, I could count on him. I kin tell 'rion some things but... 's nawt the same." No his voice didn't just crack there, it was just his imagination. "Maybe 's why 't hurts so much. 'n... I kin relate on the friend thing. Fer da longest time I kept everyone at arm's length. If dey didn't get too close, 't wouldn't hurt when they left. 'm still working on dat but, progress right?" Deep breaths, just breathe. Jazz's voice might have been shaking more after that. He'd forgotten how nice it was to have someone who could relate, who could understand. "Jis... thanks."
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Jan 2, 2018 1:06:44 GMT -8
When Jazz mentioned Nik having something to do with Orion staying in Sinclair, Nik sniffed the small escapings of a suppressed laugh, but held his tongue for now letting Jazz get out whatever he would again. It was kind of amusing: this time yesterday, Jazz was just sort of there. A little better than 'just there' between being important to Orion and vague trans solidarity feels, but still more of an idea than a real person. But after last night, Nik felt like he instantly knew him so much better, and it felt so unexpectedly nice to see him opening up.
"Don't even sweat it," he assured him. "If anything, I guess... I hope this shows you you don't need Luke? Like... You can talk to him about stuff you can't with Orion. But there's clearly stuff you can't talk to him about too, huh? You can come to me or Orion, or.. I don't know how close you think of Mia and emotionally heavy shit's not really her jam, especially right now, but if you're ever really in a pinch she's the most loyal person I've ever met and I've never seen her turn away anyone in need. Not saying to cut Luke out, just... maybe try to knock him down a few pegs in your mind? He's not your only confidant, and if nothing ever comes of that kiss it doesn't have to be a big deal in the long run."
Realizing just what he was saying, Nik grinned toothily. "I mean. You can ask Orion; having someone put you on a pedestal ain't all it's cracked up to be~" If Jazz had enough context to realize that was a jab at himself, great, but if not oh well. "Though... ehehe. I guess I wouldn't make us exactly what you aspire to either." He didn't actually know for sure if Jazz knew Orion had taken assassination work in the past, so he'd skip that detail, but... "He only found me again doing really shady work, and I miiight have forced him to settle down by kidnapping Mr. Fish and lowkey bribery. So I mean. You can probably manage something a little smoother eventually~" He snickered.
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Jan 2, 2018 1:37:55 GMT -8
Nik's reply had Jazz smiling briefly, at least until Luke was brought up again. It... was hard to think about Luke like that, about not needing him. That wasn't entirely true... was it? If the thought of Luke leaving hurt this much, how was that possible? Still, the rest of what Nik said made sense. Jazz guessed it really wasn't fair to Luke to put the pressure of being his only confidant on him. Especially with everything else that had been going on. Besides, ever since the whole thing with Nilly, Jazz hadn't really been able to talk him as easily. Mostly because of the kiss, but... well, what had he been supposed to think? The next comment about being put on a pedestal had Jazz smirking a bit. He remembered enough to know what Nik had meant. Though the explanation about why Orion had stuck around Sinclair initially had him laughing. "Damn, really? No wonder he didn't leave. Still, 'm glad ya made 'im stick around. I love it 'ere, 'n it wouldn't have happened without you." Jazz grinned, nudging Nik a little with his elbow playfully, "Give yerself some credit. You've gone through a lot to get to this point. Heck, there are still times I wonder if 'm cursed 'r summin." A bitter half-laugh escaped him at that. Yeah, the shoe had to drop sometime. This had to be it, huh. "Toldya what happened with the first guy I loved. 'n now Luke? 'e doesn't want anything to do with me at this point. I mean... yer right about him not being the only one anymore. But... dunno if I could say I don't need him. Just... thinking about him leaving? Hurts? Last night... it was like I couldn't breathe... Short version? Those who get close, get hurt or leave. Dun think I'll ever have what you 'n 'rion have. Like 'm nawt supposed to love someone. Arceus knows I don't deserve it anyway."
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