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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Nov 27, 2017 2:05:42 GMT -8
A professor?? And that was relevant because?? Mia was a Gym Lea-- ugh, Jazz wasn't here for that part of the conversation. "How the fuck do you thi--" He was cut off by Luke's snap, though, and... honestly almost grateful for it. He had a feeling that would've wound up more shouting match than a conversation that would have gone anywhere.
Ah, and a proper explanation, too. --w-wait, he was--? When was he out? When was this? Nik wasn't sure he wanted to know. He really hoped it was when he was in Era, and had technically already put in his resignation, doubly absolving him from the situation. Or-- ha, wouldn't it be fucking something if it was the day he'd spent fighting a bear and getting beaten up by birds. If it wasn't, though-- if he'd just been out with one of his partners and hadn't had phone signal or something stupid-- he didn't want to know. And honestly, the way Luke said it, Nik couldn't say he wouldn't have very likely made the same offer. But on that note--
He opened his mouth but Orion beat him to it, probably better worded and more effective from him, ha. Good. And actually with Orion affirming so hard the impression Nik got, that led to an even worse thought.
"So... You did something potentially super dangerous to yourself out of genuinely good intentions and a drive to help someone else? Willy wowzer good golly jeeper gosh I can't imagine anyone in this room can relate to that feeling at all."
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 27, 2017 2:53:19 GMT -8
As Luke snapped at him, Jazz winced and looked away. Great, yet another thing he couldn't do right. It felt like he wasn't wanted here and even his attempt at defending Luke didn't help matters. The explanation that followed was something that Jazz already knew and yeah, he might have still been bitter about the whole league thing. It was their fault in the first place after all. Besides, didn't that make it partially Nik's fault too? If he wasn't around, then he was to blame for not showing up. Then this could've been avoided. Could it? Maybe? Orion's comment had Jazz leering at him this time. Really, 'rion? Was that really necessary. He had just opened his mouth to say something in response to that when Nik beat him to it. Jazz's face paled as he looked away, unable to say anything in defense for that. A small 'tch' sound escaped him but well, as much as Jazz hated to admit it, Nik was right. Whatever Orion had done was clearly not good but... Right. That was why Luke was so angry about this, wasn't it. It was like back then when... when they'd talked. When he had said-... No, no dammit, no. Don't think about it, don't start. Too late. " 's nawt the point,"Jazz murmured shifting to slide down the wall so he could sit down. It wasn't comfortable but at least it was harder to see his face, harder for them realize just how hard the memory had hit him. At least Jazz hoped it would. Hands reached up, grabbing fistfuls of hair, pulling hard enough that his knuckles turned white. It helped distract him, gave him something else to focus on for now. " 's the same thing as when Nilly grabbed me first, 'rion. 's jis like that. Isn't it? Luke... doesn't want to see you... hurt. That's all... right? Is that too much?"
ulla
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Nov 27, 2017 6:17:12 GMT -8
It’s not the point— but it very much was the point. Luke’s gaze struggled to hold up and finally dropped to the floor instead. Even Jazz’s own words exemplified Orion’s statement. He didn’t want to see anyone hurt, didn’t want to see anyone suffer. As much as he could say he hated others, his actions towards them always spoke louder than that. His medicines were cheap for traveling trainers. He bent over backwards with discounts, deals, and money shifts to get as many people that wanted the Chroma Cookie as possible. He opened himself up to the Nihilego, a stranger and parasite. Even if he could argue the last one was in defense of Jazz, Luke could have just had the League take it away…. But he didn’t.
And here Orion was…. fighting for a different but comparable reason. He opened up his body and mind to beatings just.. in order to do something sweet for someone he loved and…. But Jazz and Me are the ones he loves… Well, obviously, but just as obviously Nikolai. The fact that this tightened his stomach some made him realize just how…. Much it actually bothered him? And not in a way he could describe. He didn’t want a romantic relationship with Orion. That was out of the question and had been off the table for years. But he guessed maybe he just… Didn’t want anything to change either? Everything had seemed…so good here in Veria? Just the way things were? It was so much better, so so so much better than in Era, but the thought of it continuing to shift along with the passage of time really made his skin crawl.
And he guessed that was a personal issue.
“I’m….” Tired, angry still, stressed, any number of things. “I’m— I’m sorry… I…” his breath was shaking some, but he kept talking. “I don’t know why I’m getting like this I just…” he knew why. He knew very well why but? “I didn’t mean to be…” be hypocritical, be nonsensical, be emotional. That last part was probably the bulk of it, though. “I just don’t want to lose this… I don’t want anyone to hurt or get killed or suffer at all and I just….” Don’t sob, Luke, that’s not very rational and logical. Well, here they were.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Nov 27, 2017 15:55:14 GMT -8
Nik almost wanted to stay angry at this point, but Luke seemed to be relenting, and he really didn't wanna drag this out. "Then let me take care of him," he mumbled, realizing he'd taken to running his fingers through Orion's hair idly.
"And..." It pained him a bit to make this concession just now. Some part of him insisted Luke didn't deserve to stay an important part of Orion's life, but.. Arceus knew he could get stupid when he was worried, and Orion cared about Luke, and Luke did stitch him up... "You keep looking out for them, too. We want the same thing. We may as well work together on it..."
Orion... still seemed pretty bad though. And this didn't really... ah... "And.. maybe try to forgive him? He's not... gonna be perfect overnight, but it's gonna be harder for him to move past old habits if you don't let him."
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 27, 2017 22:35:01 GMT -8
Jazz didn't even know what he was still doing here or why he even bothered trying to explain. Nik's words had struck a chord in him and well, he couldn't really think past that. Even his words sounded hollow and more of a questioning statement than anything he could be confident about. Fists tightened and a pained hiss would escape Jazz. He wouldn't let go until Luke started speaking and then started to sob. For as tired as Jazz was, for as much as he didn't want to deal with this, he didn't want to see Luke hurt. This is all Nik's fault. Was it? Wasn't Orion's recklessness part of the reason? I just don't want to lose this... Oh. Was it because of change? Was it because it was too reminiscent of Era? Jazz didn't know but he understood, or was trying his damndest to. Change was scary but... it was a part of life and something that was impossible to avoid. Even still... Jazz didn't like seeing Luke upset or hurt anymore. Shoving himself to his feet, Jazz walked over to Luke only to hesitate slightly before setting a comforting hand on his shoulder. His first impulse had been to hug Luke but... that could be misconstrued as something else, couldn't it. It's easier to be friends. Was it? Was it really? Nik started speaking again and Jazz looked over at him, finding himself captivated by the soft, gentle aura that surrounded him. Orion's was there and it made it more difficult to see Nik's clearly but it seemed his aura training was paying off if he could see it. Still, the way Nik talked about Orion, the way he defended him and wanted to take care of him. "You really love him..."Jazz found himself murmuring before he could stop himself, "It... doesn't sound easy, but... it's worth it, isn't it?" he continued quietly, his voice wavering a little as green eyes took in Nik's aura. It was... weirdly calming to look at, far easier than focusing on Nilly's huge aura at that moment. Fuck. He shouldn't have said that, shouldn't have asked that. Of course it's worth it. Wasn't it? Nik seemed to genuinely love Orion, could even calm him down and understand him in a way that Luke didn't. Why was that? Is there something to this soulmate thing? Maybe. I want that. Would it ever happen to him? For some reason the very thought made him feel both lonely and scared. As more of an after thought, Jazz realized that staring at Nik, or rather, Nik's aura could be weird and looked down at the ground. It didn't block it out entirely, but at least it was something.
ulla
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Nov 28, 2017 7:08:15 GMT -8
Luke jolted slightly at Jazz’s hand on his shoulder. He didn’t… really want to be touched right now, not with Nilly doing some stuff internally but… He wouldn’t really get a chance to get into that right then either. His lips sealed shut as Nik spoke. We want the same thing. Yeah, basically. And maybe try to forgive him— Easier said than done, apparently. Luke sighed softly. Thank you Jazz for stating the obvious but… but yeah. “Yeah…” he finally mumbled shrugging his shoulder some. Ugh… he was still frustrated for whatever reason, but maybe that was just stray feeling.
Orion, meanwhile, had settled some. Not entirely in mind but maybe in body. The fingers through his hair helped almost more than Nik’s actual words or any of what was said and done. He was just… upset? Stressed? Tired? Tired. He was really, really, really, tired. And sore, and hurt and ugh. He was done. Maybe he could just fall asleep and wake up in the morning and everything would be fine. Sounded great, but even as he shifted to fold into/against Nik more, his side spazzumed and he groaned. A single “Sorry” escaped form him though at that point he had no idea who he was apologizing to or why.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Nov 28, 2017 8:38:15 GMT -8
"No shit." Nik's words to Jazz might have come off a lot snappier if they hadn't been so flat and listless. But really, why were people surprised by this? How many people did they know that would make this kind of commitment with someone they didn't love?? Or, he guessed, have some other pressing social reasons for being with but this wasn't Era and Orion was hardly nobility so, ya know.
The apology stung in a way he couldn't quite explain, not too severely but still enough to be uncomfortable. "You're fine..." He hesitated then as another thought occurred, and... this probably wasn't the best time overall. He'd only been studying for a little bit so it wasn't really the impressive surprise he wanted it to be but... He hoped it would be nice right now.
Leaning in and resting his face against Orion's shoulder, he murmured just above a whisper in his ear. "Va tutto bene, amore mio. Stiamo bene. Ti amo..." He was probably mispronouncing something but he was... trying.
He rubbed a hand up and down his arm, but paused when he touched the bandages and glanced up to Luke. "...Is it okay to get these wet or will he need to change them?"
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 28, 2017 10:24:02 GMT -8
At the feeling of Luke's jolt, Jazz removed his hand from his shoulder, looking away from everyone after that. I can't do anything right. Yes, it seemed that way didn't it. It sure felt that way at any rate. The way Nik answered him however had Jazz flinching before he looked back at Nik again. "I-... sorry. Your aura's so soft though, beautiful even. I just-... it shows, is all," Jazz murmured, looking away after that. Those damn tears were still filling his eyes no matter what he did it seemed. Especially after seeing how Nik was doting on Orion like that. I want that... You don't deserve that. Shut up brain, nobody asked you... Even if it was true. Roughly wiping the tears away, he listened as Nik addressed Luke about the bandages. He would stay silent and give Luke the opportunity to say something just in case. Still, Luke had come over here for Orion and... well, if he wanted to say something, it might as well be now. Right? It wasn't like it would get any better in the morning. "Yer nawt losing anything, for the record,"Jazz murmured, glancing sideways at Luke, "Veria 's nothing like Era, 'n I love it here. Change is part of life, hell, I've changed 'n nawt just cuz of the cookie. I... finally feel like I can be myself, no strings attached. 'n I'm trying to be better, Orion's trying.. isn't that enough?" he continued, not looking at Luke. It hurt too much to say anything more, to clarify what he meant. More tears blurred his vision, but Jazz didn't wipe them away this time. What's the point?
ulla
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Nov 28, 2017 16:39:18 GMT -8
Those words, that mix of Nik’s voice and Orion’s mother tongue, was so comforting and alarming all at once that Orion didn’t even know what to do with himself? Even if… even if they were a little mispronounced, just… just hearing them was nice and????? Like a friend almost? Orion gulped and pressed his face into Nik’s shoulder “Ti amo anch'io.”
A soft sigh escaped from Luke. Nik’s question had him looking back up before shaking his head. “Going to have to change them if they get wet…and once a day otherwise.” The sutures would be fine, but the bandages themselves were gauze. “The cuts are j-shaped under the skin so it’ll be a weird healing process.” As if any of Orion’s old wounds were at all normal.
You’re not losing anything, for the record. Luke’s gold eye flicked sideways and considered Jazz again there. You are wrong was the thought-answer. But… Luke didn’t have enough energy to deal with this any longer. He didn’t wanna deal with Jazz’s wishy-washy disposition, and he didn’t wanna deal with Nik anymore. Instead, he found himself looking back to Orion for a few seconds, lips pressed together. “I’m going home…” he finally stated turning and starting towards the door.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Nov 28, 2017 19:35:39 GMT -8
Nik's hand laced deep into Orion's hair and held his head there as he leaned into Nik's shoulder, and he tilted enough to kiss his head.
Luke's words had him lightly sighing through his nose, but.. he guessed he should have expected as much, huh? Oh well, at least now he knew. He made a mental note to help Orion keep track of that, and check if they had any bandages here or would need to pick some up.
Jazz's bit about his aura.. brought a bit of color to Nik's face. He couldn't recall exactly how Lucien had ever described it, other than a lot of blue and purple (did he also say green? Nik couldn't even remember). But it also... brought attention to just... that Jazz was looking at him, a lot, and he was... still sitting here in nothing but a pair of Luxury Ball print boxers; he didn't even have a hat. He.. shifted to shrink in on himself just the slightest bit, as if that would hide any of his body, but... well it was kind of late now wasn't it. He was just... gonna ignore that he'd gone through this whole argument like this.
As Luke tried to excuse himself, Nik found the more bitter parts of himself thinking Finally. But the more caring parts... "Hey Luke?" he called after him. "Thank you, for everything." He felt like maybe it'd be appropriate to say something about Nilly, too, like it was lucky to have found Luke or that Luke's secret was safe with Nik or... something? But it all felt like it'd sound hollow and forced outside his head so... oh well.
His focus would turn back to Orion, then, as Nik kissed him several more times softly and pet him. "Hey.." His voice was back down to that almost whisper, and a small smirk started to form. "You smell like sweat and other guys..." he teased. "Why don't you let me help you into a bath and wash their stink off, mm? You can just hang that arm outside the tub." He'd been planning to suggest a shower if the bandages would hold up, but he didn't feel like worrying about them tonight so this was almost as good.
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 28, 2017 22:58:44 GMT -8
As Luke described the cuts, Jazz couldn't help but flinch a little. What had Orion done to get something like that? He wanted to ask but was just too tired to press for details. It had happened, they could leave it at that. Nik's blush though was rather cute and he couldn't help but smirk briefly. Well then, it seemed that even Nik had a cute side... but of course Jazz had the feeling if he kept watching Nik and Orion that he'd get diabetes. Why can't I have that? Why indeed... Jazz knew the reason, he knew he wasn't ready but... it still hurt to think that he would never have that. Luke turned to leave after that though and Jazz looked back at him, wishing that he hadn't said that. Why can't this be a dream? Everything would be so much better if he could just wake up and forget that this entire thing ever happened. That Luke hadn't stormed in here or that Orion had gotten hurt just to get money for a house. Nik's voice brought him to reality however as he thanked Luke and then leaned over to pay attention to Orion. Jazz however only watched as Luke walked out the door. A hand reached out to try and stop him, to tell him to wait but... no words came. He had already tried talking to him, had tried to help him understand that it was ok. It... hadn't worked and Jazz was left feeling even more confused and hurt than before. Why wasn't he good enough? Why couldn't he do something right? Would he ever be good enough? Tears blurred his eyes as fists clenched, trying hard to stop from falling apart right then and there. If he could just focus on something, anything aside from what he was feeling... Whatever he was feeling. He could feel his nails digging into his palms, breaking the skin but it didn't matter. Jazz just barely managed to choke back a sob before he spun on his heels and turned to walk towards his room. He... didn't want Luke to see him like this or anyone for that matter. A door would slam behind him and shoes would be unceremoniously kicked off before he flopped face first on the bed, practically clinging onto the pillow. Fuck me. He couldn't stand this anymore. Luke had wanted him to stop being self-deprecating, he'd wanted him to see himself through his eyes. But what did that matter when Luke regretted that conversation? He didn't want a relationship because it could be complicated. Arceus. It hurt too much. Why couldn't he stop feeling like this? Before he realized it, Jazz was reaching for the knife he kept in his dresser drawer. What the hell did it matter that he'd promised Luke. He just wanted to stop hurting like this. Sitting up, Jazz rolled up a sleeve, staring at the scars he'd carved into his skin over the years. It would be so easy to just trace over one of them. Just because Luke had said it was what he wanted... Did he really care that much? The sound of a pokeball opening would be heard as a rather distressed Wigglytuff knocked the knife out of Jazz's hand only to hit the wall with a loud CLANG. Jazz let Marshmallow do it, he was almost relieved actually. The lecture he received after that amounted to little more than loud repetitions of WIGGLYTUFF but he already knew what she was trying to say. Marshmallow was doing Luke's job for him, yelling at him just like Luke had yelled at Orion. He deserved it. Jazz knew that. I can't do anything right.
ulla
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Nov 29, 2017 7:05:15 GMT -8
The thanks sounded so superfluous and fake to Luke right then, but he resolved not to answer with as much. A simple nod was all that was given before he continued out the door. He wouldn’t even register that Jazz had reached to him. He just walked out the door, down the steps, and back out into Sinclair again.
A soft snort escaped from Orion at Nik’s suggestion. A small sigh and an “Ok” escaped from him. The sound of a door slamming, however, would have him jerking slightly and looking back towards Jazz’s room. A small groan escaped from Orion as he started to sit up. Every muscle was twitching now, and he regretted sitting down in the first place. “Fuck…” More sounds from Jazz’s room had him rubbing one side of his face. “Need to… go see what that’s about…” As if he was in any shape to be doing so, but apparently with Luke gone some semblance of norm was coming back to Orion.
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Civilian
I can't help it, I'm a babbling idiot. Please kiss me quick, 'cause I need to feel it~ |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY 🌸 SG 🌸
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Post by Nikolai Laska on Nov 29, 2017 14:56:00 GMT -8
Finally. Everything was settling down. He'd draw Orion a nice hot bath, dote on him a bit as they got him cleaned up, and then they could finally pass out. Nik didn't even have a vague inclination toward anything else right now, just some light affection to help him destress and then glorious sleep. He had a feeling even Orion would be able to nod out for at least a few hours after a night like--
OR not, as that door slam made him jump, too. His mouth opened, but Orion beat him to it, which was good because Nik didn't even know what he wanted to say about it. Part of him wanted to insist Orion had done enough for tonight and he could check on Jazz b u t ? ? ? Haha what would he even... So, instead, he'd settle for, "I'll come wi--"
Brief discordant sound Nik didn't process beyond 'noise happened' was followed by a yelling Wigglytuff??? "Uh?" As Jazz's door opened, Nik backed off a step, suddenly feeling it was far too intrusive to even be looking in his room, but at the same time his eyes were darting back and forth between 'no I'm not looking' and trying to get some context. They'd happen on the knife on the floor at one point, bringing a momentary '??!!?' reaction, but-- but Orion had about thirty-two hundred knives and Nik didn't wanna jump to any conclusions if that was just randomly lying around so. "S-sor--..we heard uh..."
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Trainer
Don't get too close, it's dark inside. |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Elayne
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Post by Jazz Johnson on Nov 29, 2017 22:49:07 GMT -8
Inside Jazz's room could only be described as organized chaos. There were a series of posters around the room, portraying different bands, emo quotes, or some of his favorite Pokemon. The closet was exploding with clothes and other accessories bought at hot topic including stud collars, belts, even some fishnet shirts and gloves that could be used as accents for different outfits. Buckets of spare parts, nuts, bolts, and other odds and ends could be seen in one corner of the room while half put together machines and other tools and what looked to be computer parts were strewn all over the desk. The dresser didn't look much better with pieces of clothing sticking out from where they'd been shoved inside. A few chokers and hair accessories sat on the dresser along with a few pictures, including one of his dad when he was still alive and the hairbrush with a happier family portrait on the back of it. The bed seemed to be the most noteworthy thing in the room, fitted with green galaxy sheets and a comforter that literally glowed in the dark thanks to the black light suspended directly above it. It seemed that the cleanest part of the room was a pathway between the bed and the door. Practical, but not necessarily the best or healthiest thing to be living in. Jazz sat on the bed, knees curled up to his chest while Marshmallow flailed and berated him. He didn't even say anything, just stared at the wall at one of his emo posters. Didn't even look up when Nik and presumably Orion walked into the room. Marshmallow on the other hand was relieved to see them and gestured to the knife on the floor and back at Jazz wildly. She had tried to help ;3; but now Jazz wouldn't talk and, and... At some point the Wigglytuff seemed to wear herself out and just huffed a few more times before folding her arms across her chest. " 's fine," Jazz murmured, pulling out a pokeball to release Kovu. The Luxray took one look around the room and hopped up onto the bed, curling up against Jazz. One arm wrapped around the big cat before shifting to curl up against him. It was easier that way, not to have to look at Orion or Nik. "Marshmallow was jis doin' 'er job. Cuz 'm a worthless shit that can't do nuthin right. Much less keep from slipping back into old habits," Jazz explained quietly, still not looking at either of them. Orion knew, he'd seen him do it before. They'd talked then but... how else was he supposed to make the pain stop? Kovu whined and licked Jazz's face, but even that didn't seem to elicit much of a response. Marshmallow let out a distressed cry at hearing that and patted Jazz's head. Normally she would've hugged him but... well, it was hard to hug him when he was curled up against Kovu like that.
ulla
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AZOTH
‘Cause these words are knives that often leave scars The fear of falling apart |
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PLAYED BY OOC NAME
PLAYED BY Jayspurr
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Post by Orion Alim-Verdi on Nov 30, 2017 16:07:57 GMT -8
Orion wasn’t even too sure how he managed to force himself up and over to Jazz’s door. His mind had zeroed in on the need to do something, so apparently that was what he was doing now. He’d knock on the door only once before pushing it in to stare at the mess that was Jazz’s room.
Stepping in through the pathway that led to Jazz’s bed, Orion rubbed the side of his face slowly. “Marsh,” he sighed. “Keep it down unless you want me to give you a migraine.” That was supposed to be a threat, yet as he closed the distance with Jazz, he stopped to ruffle the top of the Wigglytuff’s head gently. She had been a good investment, and he’d be prouder of her for keeping after Jazz if he wasn’t so damn tired and sore right then.
Orion was a couple steps to the bed when Jazz released his security blanket and snuggled up to him. The explanation that came had Orion sighing anew. He could already guess what ‘old habits’ were even without seeing the knife. He just…. ugh didn’t wanna deal with this on top of everything tonight? At least this wasn’t About Him but …. tangentially it might as well have been. Everything was his fault anyways, huh? Heh…. Yeah. Ow. “Sorry you had to walk in on that mess,” he finally sighed.
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